If I could give a Mother’s Day gift to all of the mom’s out there, it would be the book, Gift From the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. This little gem was first published in 1955, but the insights on life as a mother are timeless. Maybe more so in this complex, overdriven, high expectation life that modern day mothers find themselves thrust into.
Anne was a pioneering aviator, writer, mother of five children and wife to the famous Charles Lindbergh. She understood the demands that come from all directions on mothers – the constant pull on their time and the deep desire to nurture everyone else. It leaves little left over for oneself.
“Even those (other mothers) whose lives had appeared to be ticking imperturbably under their smiling clock-faces were often trying, like me, to evolve another rhythm with more creative pauses in it, more adjustment to their individual needs, and new and more alive relationships to themselves as well as others.”
Gift From the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh
This book sits on my office shelf – a gift from my mom, with her handwritten inscription on the inside cover.
Being a mom
Being a mother is one of the greatest privileges of a woman’s life. But, from the very first time you hold that precious child in your arms, you realize the weight of responsibility. You become acutely aware that, as a mother, you hold the key to keeping this little being alive. There is an undeniable compulsion to protect him/her from the harsh world that they were born into, both physically and emotionally.
Our deepest desire, aside from the health and safety of their bodies and souls, is that they are happy. Ask any mom what she wants for her children and she will tell you, “I just want them to be happy.” And not just surface happy, but deep down in their gut happy. In an effort to care for them and secure their happiness, we make mistakes along the way. No perfect moms, despite our best efforts. Our parenting is often a product of our culture at the time too. Remember Dr. Spock?
As mothers, we sacrifice our time, sleep, and very being to care for our children. So much so that we forget the balance… that our children need to see us happy too. They need to see us living our lives with joy. Moms in the throes of raising children need to find the space to refresh their souls too. And not just on Mother’s Day.
That is what Lindbergh’s book gently points out. She takes a vacation alone to the ocean to rediscover herself. Through the analogy of the shells she gathers from the beach, she searches for the delicate balance of raising children but not losing herself in the process. Seeking that balance is timeless.
Being a grandma
Most grandparents do not care for their grands 24/7, so it is easier for us to strike that balance of time for ourselves, and time to give our grandchildren. We can slow down when we are with them to see the world through their eyes. They help us see the color of the caterpillar, the path the ants left marching across the sand, or the ripples spread by tossing a pebble in the water. We enter their world of imagination with them.
In these moments, we have time to gaze into their eyes as they talk and we listen. Really listen, because, as grandparents, we know that we will have time to do the wash, clean the house and pay the bills later after they leave. We are not pulled in ten different directions when we are with them, and that is the blessing that comes back to us in these later years as a grandma.
What a gift to be just a little part of our grandchildren’s lives.
Happy Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day is a celebration of women. Women who have given a part of themselves for other people. We carry that desire to nurture others with us wherever we go in this world. We love deeply. We weep for a world where children are hurting or hungry. We see the homeless person curled up on the sidewalk and think, that person has a mother out there somewhere. We love the world with a mother’s heart, whether we are a mom physically or not.
So, whether you are a mother, or struggling with the desire to be a mother, have tragically lost a child, or have cared for people with a mother heart, you have had the privilege of sharing a woman’s love with the world. The kind of love that soothes the wounds of life. And that, is something worth celebrating, so Happy Mother’s Day to all women!
Sometimes we just don’t have the luxury of taking a long, exotic vacation. It could be due to time, money or other commitments. However, we can still get that same sense of freedom, creative inspiration and stress release by staying closer to home. We can go day trippin. According to our new trusted friend AI, a day-tripper is “a person who takes a pleasure trip, excursion or recreational visit to a place – such as a beach, city or tourist attraction – and returns home on the same day, without staying overnight.” And you thought it was about hallucinogens.
What are the benefits of day trippin you ask. First, it is much cheaper than driving hundreds of miles or flying across several states. You don’t have to spend hours in an airport, feeling like a cow being herded to the next destination, only to find out your flight has been delayed, and you will likely miss your connecting flight. It is less stress than planning and executing a long trip. You get to explore places in your own back yard that you may never have seen before. Bonus if you are retired and can go on a weekday when it is not so busy. And finally, at the end of the day, you get to sleep in your own bed.
The Pulaski Trail
Spring has sprung and so has the beauty of nature. I feel pulled to get out there and experience it. To let the fresh air fill my lungs and the bright colors stir my creative soul. So, Mr. U and I decided that we would try to go on one day trippin adventure per week through the summer. That means we will be lucky to get in one a month, but aim high, right? Last week we decided to explore the Pulaski Trail, which is less than an hour from our house. How have we never seen this beautiful piece of history before?
The beginning of the Pulaski Trail.
We wanted our day trip adventure to include being out in nature and getting some exercise. Just Google hiking trails near me and you may be surprised what shows up. We chose the Pulaski Trail because it was less than an hour away and included a 2-mile hike. Never mind that I should have read the entire description carefully because it was a 4-mile hike round trip… with quite an elevation near the top of it. Oh well, part of the adventure is the element of surprise. It was gorgeous.
The majority of the trail is along the West Fork of Placer Creek.
The Pulaski tool.
The Pulaski Tunnel Trail follows the route that Edward Pulaski traversed to escape the Great Fire of 1910. He and his firefighting crew were caught in unexpected high winds that blazed rapidly through the forest. With his quick action and knowledge of the territory he led them through the thick smoke up a creek to an old mine tunnel where they sought shelter from the billowing smoke and flames. He is credited with saving all but six of his 45 men crew.
The Pulaski tool, invented by Edward Pulaski, was designed to create fire lines, clear brush and dig in hard soil to blaze trails. Several of these tools hung on posts along the trail in tribute to him.
We made it to the overlook of the mine tunnel, now almost overgrown with moss and vegetation.
Beauty from ashes
As with much of life, over time, beauty and good will arise from the ashes. The Pulaski Trail is just one example of how time heals. What was once burnt trees and thick gray ash is now a forest full of green moss, ferns, colorful wildflowers and waterfalls splashing over rocks and logs. Like anyone that has been through trauma or a deep loss, you are not the same afterwards. You never will be. However, time molds our lives and beauty, and joy will rise from the ashes.
The winter run off made for beautiful waterfalls along the trail.
So, as you consider travel this summer, don’t forget to look in your own back yard. We often fail to explore the very places that are close by yet rich in beauty and history. Plan a few day trippin adventures in your own neck of the woods and you might be pleasantly surprised what you find. Just don’t forget to read the description thoroughly first.
Most retirees, at some point, reconsider their living options, because, well… life is different now. Once the kids have left the nest and we are no longer tethered to a job, we start to reevaluate our living space. We don’t need to be within a reasonable commute to work anymore. We don’t need four bedrooms and three bathrooms now that the kids have homes of their own. And do we really want to continue to maintain that large yard? What fit our lives for years, may no longer meet the needs of our retired, empty nest lifestyle. Now what?
The beauty of it is, you are free to move wherever you like. It could be closer to grandkids. It could be seeking warmer weather. Maybe it is finally living where your heart takes you, in the woods or near the ocean. For many retirees, it is downsizing. The key is to evaluate your priorities and determine what would make this phase of your life richer and more meaningful. For us, it was downsizing, moving closer to town and being near a lake. Wherever you move, you have to start again… with four blank walls.
Four blank walls
Four blank walls. They could be anywhere: a doctor’s office, a nursing home, a restaurant… or a brand-new house. They are just walls. What transforms them into a space that welcomes you? A space that makes you want to put your feet up. A feeling of warmth that prompts you to settle in and have one more cup of coffee. Have you ever noticed that when you walk into some houses, they feel comfy/cozy and make you want to sink into a chair for a long chat? Others feel sterile and stiff. How do we transform a house into a home?
If you have lived anywhere long enough, you have lots of experiences and memories created in your home. It holds you like a worn pair of comfy slippers. You know which doors squeak, you smile when you see that the ding in the ceiling from when your husband swung a golf club a little too high in the house, or the pen marks on the door trim marking a child’s growth each year. You remember the family dinners, the holidays celebrated and the games played on the living room floor. The walls resonate with warm memories. It is the life lived within the walls that transforms a house into a home. If you move, that starts over with just four blank walls. Such was the case with us.
I finally got up the nerve to put a nail in this blank wall last week and hung this one sole picture in our guest bathroom.
Transforming those four blank walls
We moved into our new house last fall. We spent hours with the drafter and contractor trying to construct a home that fit our needs as retired empty nesters. We wanted a house that was cozy and easy to maintain, but large enough to host family gatherings comfortably. We had the opportunity to pick out the cupboards, flooring, lighting, fixtures and a million other decisions, as it was being built. A new home is lovely and beautiful but also feels a little sterile.
You would think that we would have felt right at home once we moved the last piece of furniture in. The property felt like home since it was rebuilt on the same land I grew up on, but the house needed time. It needed to be curated. Shortly after we moved in, we took a trip to the ocean, then it was prep for the holidays, family visited from out of town, and then we spent some of the winter in Arizona. On top of this, daily life continues.
And so, we find ourselves in spring and many of our walls are still bare because I hate to put nail holes in the fresh, clear new walls. What if I change my mind, or it isn’t the right height, and I leave an extra hole? Hence, the bare walls, which cause conversations to echo.
Display your story
We bought this cabinet shortly after we got married. It has traveled with us from house to house. I covered it with milk paint and distressed it several years ago. The bird and bee nests are “roasidea” finds. The pitcher was a gift from my mom, and I recently scored this mirror at a vintage shop in town.
I love shopping at Home Goods as much as anyone and nothing can beat the convenience of Amazon and Wayfair for shopping online. But a home is not curated through retail shopping. It is built slowly, over time. I like to put together a blend of less expensive purchased items that make a house look updated, along with a few investment pieces and then the final touches are the very things that give your home personality and make it unique and interesting. And they do not happen overnight.
These final touches come three ways. First are the shared experiences and memories that occur within the walls, which I have written about before in the post The House that Built a Family. A house just feels more like home once you have hosted family and friends there.
The walls of our new home are starting to resonate with laughter and warm memories after hosting a couple brunches this spring.
The second thing that makes a house into a comfortable home is that there are signs of life going on in them. A loaf of bread is cooling on the counter. There are framed photos of family and friends. A fire is dancing in the fireplace. A knitting project sits in a basket, or a book is waiting to be read. Perhaps it is a plant thriving in the window. Life is happening. There is a heartbeat to the home.
The third thing that transforms a house into a home are the unique treasures we decorate with. Items that we love, value and have collected over the years. These are the things that have meaning to us… not just something picked off of a store shelf. We remember the trip we were on when we found the porcelain birds in an antique store on a rainy day at the ocean. It could be the tablescape we put together with Roadsidea we gathered with our sister on an outdoor adventure. It might be the treasured pitcher that your mom gave you years ago that reminds you of her.
When we moved, we had years of Stuff that we had to sift through and decide what would make the move. Years of good memories. I had to be ruthless as I eliminated items that no longer served us. I could not keep all of the glassware my mom gave me, so I had to choose the most significant. The ones that fit my style and evoked warm memories every time I looked at them. The hard part was releasing the rest.
The sewing machine cover my friend made for me set the bright colors for my office. The paper flowers remind me of the class my sister and I took together to learn how to make them (left). The shelf on the right tells part of my story, from gifts special people gave me, like the treasured book from my mom, to the mementos from trips (right).I found the birds when DIL #2 and I went antiquing on a rainy afternoon at the ocean. I am filled with that wonderful memory each time I look at them (left). The vintage school bell is from Mr. U’s aunt when she taught in a one room schoolhouse (right). We ring it when we want to gather a big crowd together for dinner. We salvaged the door that my grandpa put in the previous home over 65 years ago (left). We also had an accent wall built from the pine paneling in the previous home that my dad and grandpa milled. The shelf was the former fireplace mantel (right).
Curating a house into a home
Consider what treasured items make you smile and fill you up emotionally when you look at them. The ones that feel like a warm hug. If they are tucked in a cupboard or some place for safe keeping, pull them out because those are the very pieces that transform a house into a home. While they may not be as gorgeous as the stuff off of a Pottery Barn shelf, they are much more unique, chock full of character, and most importantly, they hold our stories.
A house is lived in immediately. A home is curated over time by filling it with meaningful items and happy memories. What are your treasured pieces… the things that make your heart sing every time you look at them? If they are hiding in a closet or basement, bring them out. If they need a fresh coat of paint, slap some on. Maybe it is the photo that you have been meaning to get enlarged and framed (guilty). Or perhaps it is the heirloom dishes that you hesitate to use for fear of breaking them. Pull them out, clean them off, fix them up and enjoy them because these are the very items that transform a house into a home.
Now I am going to go pound another hole in the wall. Happy decorating!
This Christmas cactus brings me joy because it began as a start off my mom’s plant.
I know, I know… the first day of spring was March 20th. But up north where we live, March can be pretty harsh. It doesn’t really feel like spring until at least April to me. April brings sunshine, fresh turned soil, pussy willows and colorful blooms from the bulbs we planted last fall. The earth is whispering awake again. And most importantly, spring brings renewed hope. I don’t know about you, but I am ready for some bright color, a refresh, and renewed hope back in my life.
Planting bulbs in the fall is an exercise in hope.
Spring is full of new growth and wildlife babies
Little lake life has been a whole different type of wildlife entertainment than when we lived up on the mountain in the woods. From out home tucked up in the mountains we would see deer, turkeys and the occasional moose.
Momma turkey watching over her young and the frequent deer we would see in our yard at our previous home in the woods.
We would see the rare moose at our home in the mountains, but this momma moose drinking out of our bird bath was a once in a lifetime sight.
Here at the lake, we observe great blue herons, eagles, muskrats, tons of different ducks and even the occasional otter. The otter stopped by the other day to roll and play on our dock for a short time. If I were an animal, I would definitely want to be an otter. They just enjoy life so much.
This playful little otter (left) showed up one morning on the dock at our new home. The wood ducks (right) marched right through the garden gate.
Meet our new neighbors
Life is chock full of wonder, if we are aware and open to it. Such is the case with our neighbors. When we moved to this house last fall, we had a couple welcome us to the hood. They stop by unexpectedly and bring joy, smiles and entertainment. They are not your typical neighbors. They are a geese couple (geese mate for life) and while they roam the lake, they usually stop by here once a day. While many geese fly south in the winter, this couple braved the cold and stayed on. It helped that the lake did not freeze over in this unseasonably warmer winter.
Since they are here so much, I decided they needed names. Not just any cute animal name, but something quirky, fun and with a meaningful story behind it. When my mom was growing up, she had a beloved chicken that she coddled and carried around. The chicken’s name was Genevieve. My grandpa, who gave my parents this property, had the middle name Isaac. So, the couple have been crowned with the names Genevieve and Isaac. It fits them.
Genevieve and Isaac come visit us every day.
We enjoy their company. However, if they start leaving messes on our dock or yard, I will be chasing them off. My dad has fond memories of my mom getting up in the morning and going outside in her robe, armed with a broom, to chase off the geese that would come up in their yard. Perhaps the apple does not fall from the tree… we shall see. I might need to buy a new robe.
Hope springs
The bright colors and wildlife that emerge in the spring are signs of new life. Signs of fresh starts and hope. May you take the time to enjoy the wonder of spring!
Easter is a little early this year, but spring is in the air. The flowers are blooming and the wildlife are emerging. Easter and spring always remind of new hope and fresh starts.
I have been busy filling eggs, preparing decorations and stuffing Easter bags (instead of baskets) for the grands this year. I saw these cute little Easter jars on IG, so I created a couple of them to give away as well.
Easter gifts!
We will be hosting our annual family Easter brunch and egg hunt again this year. We have a little smaller crowd this time, with only about 30 people. (Yes, that is small for this extended family.) It has come full circle. My parents started the tradition of the Easter brunch and egg hunt years ago when my kids were little, on this very property. Maybe there will be a few eggs hidden in the lake again this year for some brave finder… just like old times.
My kids and their cousins after an Easter egg hunt years ago at my parents’ house at the lake, where we now live.
We were ruthless in giving away items when we downsized last year. We just did not have the space to keep so much crap. Besides, we don’t want our kids to have to go through all of our stuff when we leave this planet. One of the precious items that survived the cut was the Easter basket from my childhood. I remember the excitement of finding it every Easter morning filled with a large chocolate bunny, real-colored eggs and always a little chick perched on the handle. My oldest son used it for his Easter basket while he was growing up. Now I keep it to decorate with every Easter. It is filled with fond memories and good mojo. Keeping a few sentimental items gives an anchor to our history.
Son #1 (blue jacket) when he was about three years old, hauling around the Easter basket from my childhood while he hunted for eggs out at my parents’ home on the lake (left). I still decorate with that Easter basket every year (right).
I hope that you and your family enjoy a wonderful day and that you find new hope and fresh starts in the joy of spring.
Lover of flip flops, waking up without an alarm, fireside chats, street tacos, waves lapping up on shore, creativity, family, the cork and all things garlic.
