Month: July 2023

Unpacking Your Briefcase

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

I recently asked DIL #3 what my son would like for his birthday.  She suggested a leather “messenger bag.”  At the risk of sounding old, I asked what a messenger bag was.   She sent me a link.  It looked like an updated, much more urban/modern version of a briefcase to me.  You remember those, right?  It was that hard leather bag that we would stuff all our extra work in that we couldn’t complete between 9-5. We would sanctimoniously take it home on Friday afternoon and then never pull it out the entire weekend.  Or maybe that was just me.  Now that we are retired, we need to unpack that briefcase and replace it with a much more interesting bag full of items we will be using in retirement. 

I was a nurse for my entire professional career.  You just need scrubs, a comfortable pair of Crocs, a stethoscope, pen light and bandage scissors with you when you are working in the clinical environment.  However, as with most careers, once you are in it long enough you move into management.  So, I spent several years in hospital administration and then as an instructor and administrator at our local community college prior to retiring.   I carried my papers and other work items back and forth in a more feminine version of the briefcase.  Several months into retirement, I finally got rid of that bag and have not looked back.  It has been replaced by a much more interesting bag full of items that I can now enjoy between 9-5. 

My newly repacked bag full of things I enjoy doing in retirement.

Items I would haul around in my briefcase and how I have repacked them to fit into my retirement life.

Goals and strategic plans

We all remember these.  The senior administration would develop goals and an overarching strategic plan for the company and then we were tasked with coming up with our department’s goals and strategic plan that would support the overarching ones.  It kind of turns my stomach just writing about it.  I always worked for companies that I believed in and felt were making a positive difference in the world, but building a strategic plan to meet their goals was agonizing.  I had plenty of goals for our division; I just had to figure out how to make them fit appropriately under the company goals. 

We also had to have weekly goals that we were expected to share at our “standup meetings.”   I don’t know if they still call it that, but they were all the rage several years ago.  My last supervisor jumped on the bandwagon and every Monday morning we would have our standup meeting where all her reports would gather in a circle while standing (so we did not take too much time or get distracted talking about what we did over the weekend) and discuss what we had on our plate for the week.  Personally, it felt like a contest to see who had the most to do.  A lot of my job seemed to be putting out fires, so my goals kept spilling over from week to week, which probably made me appear suspiciously lazy.  (Whoever came up with the idea of standup meetings should be hung by their toes.) 

Now I sit on a retirement board of two, with Mr. U.  We typically meet for morning coffee time (sitting down) where we talk about our goals and plans for the upcoming year, day and/or week.  These vary, just like the diversity of retirement does.  One week it may be planning a trip, and the next week it might be preparing to paint our kitchen cabinets.  It also includes short term goals like an evening out to dinner, having the grands overnight or inviting people over for a pizza party at the Gathering Place in the yard.  We also discuss our own personal plans and goals for the day.   This might include, hobbies, chores, or some short excursion. It is enjoyable because these are plans and goals of our own choosing that enhance our retirement life.  And… morning coffee in my bathrobe with my bestie discussing our retirement plans is way more fun than a standup meeting in heels at work. 

Annual self-evaluation 

You know the one.  A few weeks prior to your evaluation with your supervisor, you were asked to complete a self-assessment.  You dutifully completed it and turned it in.  Then when your supervisor wrote up your evaluation, it looked suspiciously the same as what you wrote.  Plagiarism at its’ best. 

Now my self-evaluation consists of whether I am meeting my own plans and goals for retirement.  Did I get the huckleberry jam made this week, take my dad a homemade meal, work on my new sewing project or clean out the closet, as planned?  I write in my journal most mornings.  I jot down thoughts and what I want to accomplish for the day.  I will also look over yesterday’s list and enjoy the satisfaction of crossing items off that I completed.  It is a very loose form of a personal strategic plan and self-evaluation.  The beauty of it is, if I don’t get to a particular task, there is always tomorrow to do it.  The benefit of writing it down is that I am more likely to do it and it prevents me from putting it off for too long.

Budgets and financial reports

I have never really like working with numbers, and budgets make me yawn.  I would much rather write a narrative than plug numbers into an Excel spreadsheet.  But paid employment requires us to do several things that we don’t necessarily enjoy or “excel” at.   Besides, I always felt like there were too many variables to develop an accurate budget.  It is just an educated guess at best.  But then you are held accountable to it.  I would dutifully try to get projections from vendors and prompt faculty to think ahead about what they needed for the next academic year, when they just wanted to get through the current year in one piece.  My stomach is churning again writing about it. 

In retirement we still need to be accountable to a budget.  After all, you don’t want to outlive your money.  However, it is more fun because you have control over it and if you plug in the numbers thoroughly when planning your retirement, it is pretty easy to stay on track.  There are still variables like the stock market, healthcare needs, inflation and whether Social Security will still be around in 15 years.  We tried to counteract these potential losses by buffering our budget with diverse streams of income.  We also paid everything off prior to retiring so that we do not have any monthly bills, other than phone, electricity, etc.  Therefore, we could live on quite a bit less if the economy took a major turn for the worst and did not bounce back.   Once you develop a retirement budget where you can live within your means, then you can sit back, relax, and enjoy spending all that hard earned cash.  After all, money is just a tool to be used to live your life well. 

Name tag and lanyard

My name tag was also a swipe key which gave me access into my office and various rooms in the building.  Of course, the lanyard had the company logo on it.  Our nametags had our credentials and title on them.  In leaving work, we also left behind the title that took so many years to achieve.  That can be a little hard to swallow.  However, our role at work, and the title that went along with it, took up a lot of our time.  A lot. 

When we retired and shed our work role and title, we also shed all the time and energy it sucked from our daily lives.   What it left us with was a lot more time and vitality for all the other roles in our lives.   Roles that I cherish and want to spend more time on: wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, friend, blogger, outdoorsman woman, creator, and probably the most neglected role of all….myself.  Retiring has allowed me to repack my bag with what nurtures me and makes me feel alive again.  So go ahead and unpack your briefcase.  Matter of fact, get rid of it.  Replace it with a colorful bag full of things that you have time to indulge in now that you are retired.

In full disclosure, I got the idea for this blog post from the book, Repacking Your Bags by Richard J. Leider & David A. Shapiro. It is an excellent book about reimaging our lives and letting go of what is preventing us from living our best life now.  While it is not necessarily written for retirees, the information can easily be applied to the retirement process.  Matter of fact, I included it in my favorite top 10 retirement books.

On the home front

Speaking of budgets, summer is the perfect time for free concerts, street fairs and farmer’s markets.  Don’t forget to include them in your strategic plan for summer!  

We have some wonderful and diverse local talent on the music scene.
The Rhythm Dawgs original band members were local teachers and principals that Mr. U worked with (left). The Midnight Juliets singer in the center is a good friend of DIL & son #3 (right).

Foraging

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

I was listening to a local radio station the other morning.  The DJs for the morning show posed the question, what are some of your favorite things that are free.  They came up with answers like free food samples at the grocery store, a campfire, and listening to their radio station (of course).    I imagine young people might add a free round of drinks at the bar.  When I asked Mr. U, he said playing with the grandkids.  Good one.  Since I could not steal his idea, I came up with watching the sunset, hugs, and foraging for food. 

Foraging: “To wander in search of food.”

Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Last week we loaded up the camper and headed to the mountains to forage for huckleberries.  Picking Pacific Northwest Gold is a yearly tradition for us. This year we stayed two nights at a very small campground up near the Fernan Saddle.  That is all I can tell you because people never reveal their favorite picking spots!  We were totally disconnected and off the grid for three days.  The only sounds were the rushing river next to our campsite and the occasional bird and squirrel.   No ringing phone or dings alerting me to a new text message. No Instagram or FB.

It is a little unnerving to not be able to reach out for help with a quick phone call.   When we got there, I considered every possible bad case scenario that could happen up in the woods without help being just a phone call away:

  • One of us has a heart attack (we are not young anymore).
  • One of us trips and gets a broken leg trying to maneuver around the bushes and logs (we are definitely not as agile as we used to be).
  • We get attacked by a bear (a black bear eats up to 30,000 berries in a single day).
  • I step on a hornet’s nest and get swarmed by bees.  (This really happened last year, and it was scary…and painful.  Grateful that I am not allergic.)

Finally, after considering every possible scenario, I settled into the isolation and quiet.   Being disconnected forces us to sit with our thoughts and not be distracted by picking up our phones constantly.    And that is healing. 

Foraging for huckleberries is slow and tedious.  The most efficient way is to tie a bucket to your belt or hang it down from your neck so that you have both hands free to pick.  This was an abundant year of large berries, and the picking was relatively easy.  Within a few hours we were able to head back to camp with full buckets and stained hands.  That is the best part, going back to camp to relax after a successful day of foraging.  A cold drink and dinner never tasted so good.  I would have to agree with the DJ; a campfire is one of the best things in life that is free.

There is something about foraging through the woods that takes us back to our ancestors.  It is primal and real.  It is satisfying in a way that running to the grocery store is not.  And it is much cheaper than a trip to the grocery store.  I would like to learn to forage for other edibles in the woods, such as mushrooms.  Morels are a popular mushroom that grows in the wild in our neck of the woods.  However, you have to know what you are looking for.  When my brother was in college, his botany professor took their small lab class on a field trip up in the woods to identify and pick some of the mushrooms they were learning about.  After a day of picking, this well-educated group sat around the campfire and cooked up some of their mushrooms to have with dinner.  I will not include all the gory details but suffice it to say that they all ended up in the ER that night.  So much for the power of education.

And then when you get home…

Picking the huckleberries is only half of the battle.  Once you get them home, they have to be cleaned and frozen.  The best way to freeze any type of berry is to clean them and then lay them out on a tray in the freezer.  Once they are frozen you can pour them into freezer bags and then put the bags in the freezer for future use.  This way they are easy to measure out.  They pour out of the bag like small marbles instead of being frozen into one large clump that you have to chip away at. 

Huckleberries are a bit tart, so a little sugar helps to balance that out and something creamy is a sublime combination with them.  Don’t worry about the extra sugar and cream you put with them because huckleberries are considered a superfood. They are chock full of nutrients and are considered one of the most powerful antioxidant foods.

Some of my favorite ways to eat huckleberries, or any berry:

  • Sprinkle berries on vanilla & honey Greek yogurt for breakfast.
  • Make a huckleberry sauce to spread over a cheesecake.
  • Sprinkle over good vanilla ice cream.
  • We make dessert pizza in the pizza oven by spreading the rolled-out dough with a butter, brown sugar and cinnamon base.  Then add the huckleberry sauce and pop it in the pizza oven.  After it comes out of the oven and cools a little, add whip cream on top.  This is a crowd favorite when we have pizza parties.
  • Make a huckleberry sauce to put in crepes or on top of waffles.
  • Make berry cobbler when you need a quick dessert.
  • Add them to muffins or pancakes. Huckleberry pancakes are a must for us when we are up camping.
  • Whip up a batch of huckleberry daquiris.
  • Make huckleberry jam.
  • Create a huckleberry cream pie (recipe below).

I got this huckleberry cream pie recipe from my friend Kim, over 30 years ago.  It is much easier to make than traditional pie and is a cool, satisfying summer dessert.  If you do not have access to huckleberries, I have made it with raspberries.  Either way, it is a refreshing slice of heaven.

Kim’s Berry Cream Pie

Crust:

  • 1 cup flour
  • 1 cup chopped walnuts
  • 1/2 cup melted butter

Mix together, pat into a 9 x 11 inch glass cake pan and bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. You want to use a clear glass pan so that you can see the lovely layers when it is finished.

Berry layer:

Mix together:

  • 5 tablespoons corn starch
  • 1 cup sugar

Gradually add:

  • 3/4 cup cold water
  • 2-3 cups berries

Boil the above for 3 minutes.  Spread over the crust.

Topping:

  • 1/2 – 3/4 cup sour cream
  • large cream cheese (softened)
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • Cool Whip for consistency

Mix topping ingredients together and spread over cooled berry layer.  Refrigerate and enjoy!

The lavender out in our yard was ready to be picked last week so I gathered a basket full, tied them in bundles and hung them upside down to dry.  I am not a fan of lavender in my food, but I love the smell and they make a great filling for sachet bags to give as little gifts. We have also been picking green beans, zucchini, cucumbers and raspberries from the garden. Hum… I am wondering if it counts as foraging if you get it out of your yard or garden???

Foraging hits my retirement Trifecta because it is fun, healthy and inexpensive.  What are your favorite things that are free?

Embracing Our Age

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

What is so wrong with looking our age?  Why is society constantly pushing us to look younger?  Why is looking younger better than looking our true age?  These are questions that I have been pondering lately.  And frankly, it frustrates me.  I am in my early 60’s and am happier and more content than ever.  I would not choose to go back to being 20 or even 35 again.  At this stage in life, I have a more balanced perspective, I am more fulfilled and enjoy the wonders and “awe” moments that each day presents.  I have a new appreciation for my health and caring for my soul.    

Research studies about the correlation between happiness and age vary, but I am finding that the majority of studies report that people experience their highest levels of overall happiness after the age of 59.   At this point in life, people are more stable financially, less concerned with physical appearance and have a higher level of overall wellbeing.  According to a Bank of America/Merrill Lynch report on the Nielsen data, “there is scientific evidence that people get happier as they get older.”  The theory behind this is that an acceptance of ageing promotes contentedness.  Therein lies the secret to aging well.   Accepting our age.  Accepting our limitations.  Accepting that skin is susceptible to gravity. 

“To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent – that is the triumph over old age.”

Thomas Bailey Aldrich

If being in our 60’s and 70’s is such a happy, fulfilled time in our lives, why are we trying to look younger?   How can we be content and happy when we are constantly fighting our true age?   Why are we trying to look like an age when we were less content with life and ourselves?   I would blame the 26-billion-dollar plastic surgery industry, but they are just responding to a demand.   There is a steady increase in procedures and surgeries that you can have to lift, inject and fill loose skin.  Loose skin happens if you are fortunate enough to live that long.  So, what is so wrong with loose skin?  And why are we always trying to hide it?  Why should women over a certain age never wear sleeveless shirts?  

When I see older women with faces stretched into a permanent smile, exaggerated big lips and strategically arched eyebrows tattooed on their forehead, all I can think is… denial.  I honestly don’t have anything against people choosing to do any of these procedures.  I think that everyone should do what they are comfortable with and makes them feel their best, and I know that plastic surgery is a game changer for many people. What saddens me is why people, and particularly women, feel that they need to have their skin cut into or injected with fillers in order to look younger and more presentable to the world. (Unfortunately, men and women are not viewed as aging equally in our society.)

Perhaps the fight to look younger is based on fear.  Fear of no longer being desirable or wanted.  And ultimately, fear of becoming incapacitated and eventually dying.   Women over 50 complain that they become invisible with age.  There is even a name for this phenomenon, “invisible woman syndrome.”  The waitress looks right past you.  Your comment is not responded to.  The shop assistant ignores you. (I find this rather funny since the people with the deepest pockets are the older generation.) And what about the back-handed compliment, “you look great for your age.”   Most of us appreciate this compliment, and yet I wonder…what is wrong with just looking healthy and vibrant for the age we are? How do we show society that age is not something to be dreaded, and our aging bodies are not something to hide and be ashamed of? Some women fight back by being outrageously flamboyant and colorful. I prefer a more subtle, but potentially less effective, approach.

How do we respond to a society that is youth obsessed?

  • First and foremost, is our own self-image.  If we are confident and comfortable at this stage in life, it will keep the younger generations hopeful about aging.     
  • Change your attitude and self-talk.  Getting older is not something to fear.  Enjoy the greater sense of well being that comes with age and wear it.
  • Look your best for your age and then FORGET ABOUT IT and start enjoying life fully.
  • Being yourself, no matter what your age, is powerful.  And people will respond to that power and confidence.  And if they don’t, what do we care?  We are too busy having fun to worry about it.
  • Keep your spark.  This is what old looks like and it looks pretty darn good and fun to be. I am intrigued by older people that have that wonderful spark in their eyes.
  • Kill them with graciousness.  Don’t be that grumpy old person.  Be kind, gracious and appreciative.  Show people that aging gracefully is a wonderful gift and not a life sentence for being miserable and unhappy.
  • Stay current on what is happening in the world.  No one wants to hear about our creaky bones, but they can engage in a lively conversation about AI.  (Nothing says old quite like not understanding technology.)
  • Go ahead and wear the sleeveless shirt, without apology.
  • Other ideas?

I was with a group of women a few years ago and someone asked, “what is the most important beauty product that you would never leave the house without?”  Lipstick and mascara were the most common answers.  When it came my turn, I surprised myself by saying, “confidence.”  Being confident and comfortable in your own skin radiates a beauty that nothing else can replace. 

The real fountain of youth

Hiking in Glacier National Park makes me want to break out and sing,
“the hills are alive with the sound of music.”

Last week was gorgeous weather and so, on the spur of the moment, we decided to do a quick micro-trip over to Glacier National Park.   It is just a four-hour drive for us.  While I have been to Glacier Park, I had never been on the “Going-to-the-Sun Road” that is located in the park.  It is an iconic, historic road that is carved into the edge of the Northern Rocky Mountains and has stunning views.  The weather was beautiful, the convertible was gassed up and life is short, so why not make a spur of the moment trip there? 

It was up there, hiking in the mountains, breathing the fresh air with the sun on my face, I realized that this is my fountain of youth.  Hiking and being out in nature’s beauty, doing something I enjoy gives me a glow and vitality that no injections or fillers can ever accomplish.  Not only that, but it improves the quality and longevity of my life. I would much rather spend my time and money on experiences and enjoying life than in a plastic surgeon’s chair.  (Lest you think I am a total beauty sloth, I do get my nails done professionally.)  

While being in nature may not make me look any younger, it makes me glow with happiness.

I think most of us would like to look 20 years old again with all the energy and vitality that comes with youth.  But time marches on and that is O.K.  Our gains with age are greater than our losses, provided we are fortunate enough to still be healthy.  I think the majority of us just want to look our best for our age.  I want to live healthy, vibrant and strong and fully embrace this phase of life.  And I think we need to show the younger generations that aging has it’s advantages. If there was one beauty secret I would tell the younger generation, it would be to look your personal best and then… forget about it and go out and enjoy your life. Nothing is more attractive than a woman who is happy, confident, content, and comfortable in her own skin. Aging is a gift that we are given.  As the sayings goes, “it sure beats the alternative.”  So, let’s accept and embrace our age, while continuing to be our best selves regardless of the date on our driver’s license. Be engaged, confident, and enjoying life.  And maybe, just maybe, we can play a small part in changing society’s attitude towards age.

Wear your age well.

Retirement Living…on the Edge

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

As we get older, it seems like we are less willing to take risks.  To jump in with both feet and not worry about every possible consequence that can occur.   Over the years we have seen all of the things that can go wrong and we work to protect ourselves and avoid them.  Yet, perhaps retirement is the best time to take a few risks.  We do not have young children that need their mom and dad to be alive and healthy to raise them.  We do not have jobs anymore that we need to be able to accomplish in order to put food on the table.  We do not need to protect our fragile professional egos anymore.   We don’t even have to worry about what other people think or expect of us.  We are freer than ever to explore and take a few risks. 

“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much; because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.”

Theodore Roosevelt

I am not talking about bungee jumping off a high cliff or riding a motorcycle at 90 miles per hour without a helmet.  I am suggesting that taking a few small risks at this point in our lives adds color, texture, and interest.  It keeps us from being boring, to others, but more importantly, to ourselves.  These do not need to be big risks, just something that pushes us out of our comfort zone a little.  It can be as simple as inviting a new acquaintance to lunch, learning a new skill, taking an adventurous trip to somewhere new or joining a local “meet-up” group that shares a common interest.   Some risks are physical, but more often than not, they are emotional risks.  You will know it is a risk when your heart beats just a little faster thinking about it.

I tend to be risk adverse when it comes to anything that is going to cause physical injury.  I worked in the ER for many years and saw too many “accidents” that could have been prevented.  It makes an impact on you.  Instead of getting a thrill from skydiving, I would be terrified.  Physical risks are not my thing.  On the other hand, Mr. U is much more willing to jump into things and take some risks.  He keeps our life interesting.  I keep us safe, and he keeps us fun.

Several years ago, shortly after Mr. U retired, he bought an older, low mileage SLK convertible.   I had minimal interest in getting one but who was I to argue since he sold his beloved 1969 Dodge Charger to buy my wedding ring years ago.   I am still not sure what possessed him to buy a convertible at this stage in life.   Perhaps he was rebelling after all those years of driving minivans and large SUVs.  Maybe it was because we finally had a little more discretionary income.  Or perhaps it was a late onset mid-life crisis.  Of course, he could not find this car locally.  It had to be in Chicago, which is over 1700 miles away.  So, he flew to Chicago to drive back his new ride, happy as a clam.  Surprisingly, I am the one that really enjoys the freedom of riding in the convertible with the music turned up loud and the wind in my hair. 

We took a small, albeit calculated, risk last weekend.  Shortly after Mr. U bought the convertible he looked into joining an SLK car club.  Turns out there was a very active one in Seattle, which is several hours away from us.  We signed up and started receiving emails about the various rides they were doing and what they were seeing.  It always sounded fun, but it seemed like we never had the time to join in on one.  Until last weekend.  

It was emotionally risky to hit the send button on the email and ask to join the SLK car club for a weekend trip to Yakima, Washington for wine tasting.   They kindly sent us the itinerary and we booked our rooms.  I almost backed out several times.  After all, we had never met any of these people before.  We knew nothing about them.  What if this was an ostentatious group of people?  What if this group, that had been together for several years, was a tight click and we were left out?  (Visions of not being included with the cool kids in junior high school were haunting my brain.)  Worse yet, what if it was a group of undercover swingers?  After running all these worst-case scenarios past Mr. U, he convinced me that, if any of them turned out to be true, we could just go off and do our own thing.

The weather was lovely last Saturday morning as we gassed up the car, loaded our small bags (because there is not a back seat and very little room in the trunk once the top is retracted into it) and set off to meet the group just outside of Yakima.   The group organizer was great about keeping communications as we waited at our designated meeting spot.  Shortly after we got there, a row of colorful convertibles pulled up with waves and smiles.  This was a good sign.  The trip turned out to be a lot of fun.  And to think, we would have missed out on a lovely weekend to meet new people, eat delicious food, and taste some excellent wine, all because I was fearful of taking a very small risk.

I read an article recently in US News & World Report that stated people 65 years of age and older watch an average of 4.6 hours of TV per day.  Yikes!  I don’t want to sit on the couch for hours and watch the world out there enjoying life and stepping out to take some fun risks.  Life is too short for that, especially while we still have our health.  My risks are usually small, but they keep our lives fresh and interesting.  And it sure beats sitting in front of a T.V. day after day.  Besides being fun, there are numerous benefits to taking risks.

Benefits of taking risks:

  • It is exhilarating
  • It increases our confidence
  • It stimulates our creativity
  • It potentially opens new doors of opportunity
  • It keeps us adaptable, particularly when things don’t go as planned
  • It can lead to self-discovery and personal growth
  • It helps keep our minds active as we learn new things and problem solve unexpected changes
  • It helps us overcome our fears

Imagine a life where no one took any risks.  Where everything was safe, easy and the same, day in and day out.  We need contrast in our lives to keep it interesting. Also, we would not have advanced in our modern world without those that were willing to take risks.  Those that were willing to fail in order to grow.  We would not have the light bulb if Edison was not willing to take a risk and experience failure…  10,000 times.  So what if the risk turns out to be a big flop.  The risks that go haywire maker better fodder for stories to tell later than anything that was executed perfectly anyway.