We all need a break from the routine and commitments of life, even in retirement. Similar to how kids and parents look forward to the freedom that summer break brings – liberation from the schedule constraints of school and the extracurricular activities. I have been writing a blog post every week for the past two years. The very first post was published in July 2022 with the title What next? I write to capture life in retirement, hopefully inspire others on this journey and to remind myself of the things I need to hear. It has been a pleasure, but it has also been a commitment. Granted, just a commitment I made to myself that I enjoy, but a commitment none the less.
I admire bloggers who have been writing for years. Writing a post and coordinating photos to go with it takes a lot of time. I love doing it, but sometimes it takes away from living the very retirement life that I planned on. So, I am giving myself a “blogcation,” for the month of August. It will allow me some extra time to get a few projects done that I have been putting off, enjoy some play time and a chance to reprioritize how I want to spend these precious retirement years.
If you would like to be notified via email so you know when my next post comes out, please sign up for my newsletter. It isn’t really a newsletter; you just get an email letting you know when a new post is out. No advertising or other junk, I promise. I will also try to post a little more on Instagram if you would like to follow along there at: theretiredalchemist. The IG link is also on my blog home page.
There isn’t anything much better than lounging in the yard in the early evening, sipping a glass of chilled white wine and taking in the aroma of something grilling on the B.B.Q. THAT is summer. It is the perfect option for cooking when you don’t want to heat the house up with the oven or even stove top. It has been exceptionally hot here in our neck of the woods these past couple of weeks – up to 103 degrees yesterday. Even too hot for Mr. U to slave over the B.B.Q. So, I have been trying to come up with some cool meals that don’t require a lot of cooking.
And just for the record, I am not complaining about the heat. I think you can only complain about one extreme weather condition and mine is the cold/gray weather. The main concern with this much heat and no rain are wildfires. Our beautiful tall pine trees get dry and there are a lot of forests full of them in our area. One lightning strike or careless person can cause a lot of damage. Enough said about weather. Back to food.
This week I decided to try making a rice bowl. I know I am waaay behind the eight ball on this one. (Does anyone even use that term, “behind the eight ball” anymore?) But I have never made a rice bowl before. Thank goodness for Google. I looked at a few recipes and then opened my frig. I did not want to make a run to the grocery store, so I decided to use what I had in the frig or garden. I opened a can of black beans, boiled up some brown rice and added some avocado and feta cheese.
I picked some cilantro and green onion chives from the garden. The chives are good on so many different dishes and I use them all of the time.
I added some left-over teriyaki chicken thighs that we had grilled earlier in the week, and it made a delicious, easy, cool meal. The only other thing that would have been a great addition would be some grilled corn, cut off the cob.
I decided to take pictures before I mixed it all together.
I wasn’t sure what to use for a dressing. But my favorite salad dressing that I make with olive oil and peach balsamic vinegar seemed like it would taste good with it. Oh, soooo good. The recipe for this dressing is in one of my previous posts, Living Organically. There are so many uses for this balsamic vinegar. I have not tried drinking it straight from the bottle yet, but… it might be that good. (The heat must be getting to me.)
Do you have any favorite summer dishes that hit the spot in this hot weather? It is time to whip them up and stay cool out there!
Summer is morning coffee out on the patio, lazy afternoons in the water and watching the sun bid goodnight as it sets behind the mountains for another day. But it is also watering plants, deadheading flowers, weeding the garden and sweeping up dirt that was tracked inside. The rhythm of the seasons gives life texture. While I complain about our long winters, I really do enjoy the character of the four seasons. Fall might be my favorite, but summer comes in a close second because there are so many fun things to do. Since we were busy enjoying summer and family last week, I did not take time out to write. So instead of writing a post, I am sharing my favorite things to do in the summer, via photos. A photo is worth a thousand words anyway, right?
Summer always kicks off for us with fireworks over the lake.Time out on the water.
Always time on the water. One of my favorite places to be.
B.B.Q baby! No herbivores here. Bounty from the garden.
Outdoor summer concerts. Bonus if they are free. This Motown band was so good!
Camping up in the mountains.
Precious time with my family. It makes my mother heart sing.
Being out on my bike and kayaking. It helps compensate for all the yummy summer food.
And the sun sets on another summer day.
We have to stuff all of the fun summer activities into the short 2-3 months of warm weather that we get here in the PNW. But perhaps that makes it all the more precious. Do you have any “must do’s” for summer?
Over the last several weeks I have been observing the swallows nesting in the birdhouse on our back patio. (Exciting life, I know.) Before moving in they visited the birdhouse several times to see if it was suitable. Then we watched as they determinedly began bringing in little sticks, mud and debris to build their nest. I envision them excited to create their home together and fill it with a family. Before long, we heard little chirping sounds from the birdhouse… the children have arrived! Life will never be the same.
Like people, once the babies were born, the parents spent most of their time taking care of them. In this case, finding bugs to bring back to the nest. Back and forth they went, removing waste and returning with food, as the chirping got louder and louder. Last week, the babies were poking their heads out of the birdhouse, checking out the world outside of their comfort zone. I kept a close eye on them, hoping to witness their first flight away from the nest. Then one morning, I was having my coffee and observing the final baby bird leaning out of the nest as his momma brought him, what turned out to be, his last meal at home. Then he leaned further out and whoosh, he pushed himself out and with a few wobbly flaps of his wings, he was gone. Out to start his own adventures into the world. The next morning, the nest was quiet. It got me to thinking about our own nest.
One of the baby birds peeking out of the birdhouse (left). The baby bird being fed breakfast (right).
We have been feathering our nest for years. Adding pieces of furniture, gadgets and other stuff that would make it more functional and comfortable. As we prepare to downsize next year, I am now busy “unfeathering” our nest. Not a job for the faint of heart. So many memories. It feels like we spend the first two thirds of our life accumulating and the last third of it trying to get rid of what we accumulated. I have been working on this downsizing thing for a while, as I addressed in a post I wrote over a year ago, The Secret Life of Stuff.
I am trying to pawn off gift our children with as much stuff as I can. But as I read recently, your kids don’t want your %#*! and they really don’t want to sort through it after you pass from this earth. I am currently on both ends of that now. We are slowly going through and cleaning out my parents’ home that they raised six kids in. (My dad lives in a house in town now.) Again, so many memories. However, these memories are from the perspective of my own childhood, rather than that of a parent. It is the cycle of life, the remnants of a life well lived in our various nests.
I have to remind myself that the nest is just sticks and that, what we carry with us, what really matters, are the people. The nest is the carrying device for living out life. It does not hold the memories. Those have already been created and live in us. The nest does not shape and build us, family does. I love to live in a cozy, warm, inviting nest, but it is empty without the people that bring it to life.
Son #1 and his wife came to visit the nest last week. Since the rest of our kids live in the area, we were able to spend lots of time together as a family. It is always comforting to have your children back in your nest. It speaks of home and cozy and a reminder of those years when we were all together under one roof, safe and warm. I miss those years. But I have also grown to enjoy our quieter life and the freedom to come and go as we please. We can choose to watch a movie and have popcorn for dinner if neither of us feel like cooking that night.
Nests come and go, but the memories live on. Our four sons helped preserve those memories through an exceptionally thoughtful gift this week. When I retired, they created a book for me. Each of them wrote several pages of their memories growing up and words of kindness and appreciation that were beyond what I deserved. They planned to make one for their dad soon after, but life got busy. They joked that each of them kept waiting for one of the others to spearhead the project. Well, they finished it recently and decided to wait until they were all together this week to give it to their dad. A beautiful, heartfelt, tear inducing, tribute of their memories with their dad. And guess what? It wasn’t about nests; it was about people making lasting impressions on each other’s lives.
Mr. U and I with our four grown sons and the memory books that they made for each of us.
I hope you all had a wonderful 4th of July. As I mentioned, we enjoyed precious time with all of our immediate family, ate way too much food and tried to set the world on fire. THANK YOU to all of our current working military and our veterans. We are grateful.
As I get older, I am seeing more silver hairs, wrinkles around my eyes and age spots on my hands. The marks of living a full life. The evidence of making it to the age of 64. I am so grateful to be healthy. To be living these years with zest and vitality. Yet everywhere I turn there are recommendations for products and procedures to fight looking, heaven forbid… older. Like it is a disease we have to combat. What is wrong with looking our age and why do I feel pushed by social media and advertising to try and fight it? It gives me the impression that aging is a problem that we should try to fix or solve.
When I started thinking about this anti-aging attitude that society has, I noticed it showing up everywhere. It is even prevalent in my little city tucked up in the Pacific Northwest. The feature photo, as well as the two below, are just a few of the anti-aging advertisements I have seen locally in the last couple of weeks. Clearly, we are being bombarded with the attitude that looking older needs to be avoided and fixed.
This advertisement was in our small city newspaper.
I won’t be doing the top three options, but I could definitely go for the massage.
When people try too hard to look younger, it comes off as unnatural. In some ways, it draws attention to their age. I like Reba McEntire but every time I see her on TV, I think how stretched her face looks and how hard she is trying to look youthful again. I get it when you work in the entertainment industry because that is what sells. But what if society changed that image? What if Reba and all of the other over 50+ actresses and singers looked their true age? Would that make a statement to the world that it is lovely to age gracefully? What if it was O.K. to look our age? What if age was seen as beautiful? It is all in how society views it.
Doing our part to change society’s attitude
Don’t use anti-aging terminology. I doubt that we will ever change our society’s negative view of aging, but I can do things in my little corner of the world to not perpetuate the problem. For example, I appreciate the compliment, when someone says I look younger than my age. But why? Why do I feel like that is a compliment? So, going forward, when I see an older person that looks healthy and vibrant, I am going to make the effort to tell them that they look great. And not tag on “for your age,” which really is a back handed compliment.
Share our age proudly. In response to a reporter who told Gloria Steinem (age 40 at the time) that she looked good, she responded, “this is what 40 looks like.” Ten years later, she used the same response with, “this is what 50 looks like.” Many people, particularly older women, avoid telling people their age. We don’t want others to shove us in a corner of their brain that is labeled, “old.” But if we don’t proudly share our age, how will younger people know what aging really looks like and that it is O.K. Even normal. We should be proud to say what age we have made it to. As I get older, I am getting crow’s feet, silver in my hair and age spots. So what? I am also wiser, happier and freer than I have ever been. To borrow Gloria Steinem’s response, this is what 64 looks like.
This is what 64 looks like.
Let our bodies age naturally. One of the most obvious changes that comes with age are those grey hairs that start showing up. I still don’t know why men with grey hair are considered distinguished and women with grey are considered fuddy duddy. There are women out there trying to change that perception. During COVID many women quit coloring their hair and let their gorgeous, natural grey grow out. There is even a movement of women called the “Silver Sisters” that embraces aging naturally. These women describe a sense of freedom and peace. They felt like they were hiding part of themselves from the world when they covered their grey, and now they are able to be honest. Margaret Osler shares about the wonderful sense of freedom she felt when she let her gorgeous grey curls grow out. She is loving and enjoying life and looks vibrant and happy. We need more examples like her in our anti-aging world.
“Imagine a world where we all looked forward to, valued & celebrated the beauty of natural aging.”
Margaret @aging_is_amazing
I don’t have anything against people that choose Botox, plastic surgery and age defying alternatives. It is wonderful to have options and if it makes someone feel better about themselves, then go for it. We each need to do what makes us feel whole and happy. However, I am just saddened by a world that causes us to feel better about ourselves when we look younger. I have decided that I don’t want to spend my precious time, energy and money on trying to look younger. I don’t want to sit in a physician’s office chair unless I have to. I would rather be spending my time and money doing something I love. Something that vitalizes me. Something that puts a smile on my face and fills my heart with joy. Maybe that is the real secret to looking younger.
My anti aging beautifully formula
Instead of spending my time and money on anti-aging treatments and procedures, I would like to propose a new formula for anti-aging. However, since we are going to avoid the term anti-aging, lets’ call it a formula for aging beautifully. Matter of fact, we need to get rid of the term “anti-aging” entirely. Here is my formula for aging beautifully:
Get outdoors to get some vitamin D. It will make your skin glow.
Do some physical activity every day. It will get your blood and lymph fluids moving throughout your body.
Keep your weight under control. We will have more energy if we are not carrying around an extra 25 pounds. Likewise, if you are limiting your calories and carbs too much, you won’t have enough energy.
Laugh and smile more. Personally, I think that laugh lines are beautiful.
Love with an open heart. It will show on your face.
Give back to others. The satisfaction will give you peace and that will decrease those frown lines.
Do what makes your heart sing. Happiness looks good on you.
Surround yourself with things you love. More flowers anyone? It will bring joy to your life.
Drink more water. A cosmetologist once told me that this is the single best thing you can do for your skin. It fills your skin out naturally.
Have a heart of gratitude. Trust me, it will show on your face.
And of course… eat your fruits and vegetables. It will give you the vitamins and minerals that you need to look healthy and glowing.
“There is an elegance in ageing that transcends physical beauty. It’s in the way we carry ourselves with confidence, the depth of our compassion, and the strength of our spirit. It’s in the serene acceptance of who we are and the profound understanding of what truly matters.”
Gail McNeill @fiftysister
I want to look my very best for my age. Who doesn’t? I am not promoting “letting yourself go” as you age. I love a wonderful fragrant facial lotion, make-up, fun cloths and accessories. I am committed to using glycolic acid on my face a couple of times a week. But this is my one and only precious life and I don’t want to waste a lot of it trying to look younger than I am. I don’t have enough time as it is for all of the fun things I want to do. I am too happy and busy living and loving my life to spend my time, energy and money on expensive, time consuming anti-aging products and procedures.
Maybe that is the true secret to aging gracefully… to quite fighting the aging process and allow it. It should not be something to fear, pull or stretch our bodies to avoid. Allow the beauty of age to shine through in our eyes, our attitude and our confidence. Instead of aging being a problem to be solved, it should be considered a gift to be embraced.
Lover of flip flops, waking up without an alarm, fireside chats, street tacos, waves lapping up on shore, creativity, family, the cork and all things garlic.
