Month: March 2025

Abundance vs Scarcity

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

Have you noticed that some people draw you in and others make you want to run the other way? The people we are drawn to have a sparkle in their eye, a ready smile and are quick to laugh. They put life in perspective and don’t sweat the small stuff. They remind us to enjoy the little things that we are gifted with every single day. These people live from an attitude of abundance. It goes beyond circumstances because I have seen this attitude in people that have experienced great loss in their lives. Then there are those people that approach life from the perspective of scarcity. The curmudgeons that hold life with a very tight fist. Abundance vs scarcity. How do we want to approach our one and only precious life?

Which cycle do you want to be in

Abundance is a feeling of having enough, or even more than anticipated or deserved. It comes from a heart overflowing. Overflowing with appreciation, happiness, and a deep awareness of the beautiful life all around us. It is the attitude of having lower expectations, so most things turn out better than expected. And the more abundant we feel, the more we share that feeling and then the more we get back. The abundance cycles continues.

Scarcity comes from a pinched heart. It is that suffocating feeling of never having enough so you are holding on to everything with a very tight fist. There is not enough to share. Not enough wealth, not enough smiles, not enough food, not enough happiness. So, they hold on even tighter to what they have, which just makes it worse. And the scarcity cycle continues.

As a nurse, the majority of my patients were older adults. I learned a lot from them about how I wanted to age. There were the cranky old codgers that were unhappy about everything. I did not want to become one of them. Then there were the positive, appreciative elders. They still had the same wrinkles and health issues to deal with, but they focused on what was going right in their lives and what they had to be grateful about.

The curmudgeons emphasized everything wrong in their lives and could not find anything to be positive about. The hospital food was bland, the doctor was never around, the bed was too hard, no one answered their call light. Bla, bla, bla. And while a lot of that was probably true, the positive ager had the same circumstances but looked at life from an attitude of abundance instead of an attitude of scarcity.

I suspect we all have attitudes of abundance and scarcity from time to time. I know I do. Life certainly has its ups and downs, but there is an overall arching attitude that each of us approach life with. Some people are just born curmudgeons and some grow into it because of circumstances or poor choices. Life can be hard. So, how do we maintain an attitude of abundance in a world full of turmoil?

Building on the happiness gene

Some people are actually born with the “happiness gene.” In case you are wondering, it is 5-HTTLPR, as well as a few others that I will not bore you with. If you are interested, you can read the study at Genes, Economics, and Happiness – PMC. Scientists believe that these genes affect mood and serotonin levels. If you are not born with the happiness gene, you can still cultivate it. You just might have to work a little harder at it. Studies show that about 33% of life satisfaction is linked to genetics. That means we can affect the other 67%! Even if you are born with the happiness gene, you have to continue to nurture it so that it doesn’t get buried under the challenges of life.

You don’t have to be rich to enjoy abundance. The times I have felt most wealthy had nothing to do with my financial situation at the time. It was when I was witnessing the unexpected beauty of nature, observing a sunset or basking in the sunshine and watching the cloud formations. It was a spontaneous hug from a grandchild. It was when I was surrounded by family, laughing and sharing life with them.

For a few weeks every spring, the swans stop by Killarney Lake as they head north. Abundance was observing them flap their wings, dive for food and chat with each other.

Any of us can live our lives with a heart that is overflowing with abundance and gratitude. We do that by little choices every day. Choices to seek out or simply notice the beauty in the world around us. We do it by emphasizing the best of our lives and not giving a chance for the negative things to take root in our hearts. As with most things in life, what gets fed and gets our attention is what grows.

There will be hard days. There will be days when it takes every ounce of our energy to climb out of bed. There will be setbacks and losses. Life is not always rosy or positive. Life can be harsh. When you cry, cry hard. But when you emerge from the tears and sorrow, live well. For without the valleys, there would be no mountaintops. It is the ordinary days that make up the majority of our lives. We get to choose how we approach those ordinary days. We can choose an attitude of abundance or an attitude of scarcity. The beauty of it is that we get to decide.

Choose to live life with an attitude of abundance.

Happy First Day of Spring

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

Is it possible? Dare we think that spring is finally here? Officially, it is. Happy Dance! Today, March 20th, marks the first day of spring. Apparently, it was March 21st, but astronomers have moved it up to March 20th. I am good with that. One of the wonderful things about living in an area with four distinct seasons is that you really appreciate it when spring arrives. Never mind that we got about 3 inches of snow at our house earlier this week. The calendar does not know that. It melted quickly and underneath it were signs of spring popping up.

Underneath the snow the daffodils and rhododendrons were preparing to make their spring debut.
I know that most people try to get rid of moss, but I think it is beautiful.

It is hard to believe that the below picture was taken at our house just a little over a month ago.

Several inches of snow in our back yard on February 17th of this year.

The change of seasons never ceases to amaze me, but it is even more fun to watch it through a child’s eyes. We have our youngest granddaughter one day a week and she loves to be outdoors, no matter what the weather. It is hard to believe that the below pictures were taken exactly 3 weeks apart.

She was not thrilled with the bags I put over her new white tennis shoes to keep them clean.

Signs of warmer days are everywhere, even though there are a few patches of stubborn snow in the shady areas. The birds are singing, the squirrels are chirping, and the ice is off of the lake. Happy first day of spring everyone!

Underneath the snow is beautiful green moss.

Internet Scamming

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

Gone are the days of eagerly waiting for a paper ticket to arrive in the metal mailbox with the red flag for an anticipated event. We would clutch that ticket in our hot little hands and display it at the entrance to the big arena. Many of us kept those tickets afterwards tucked away in cedar memory chests, taped to pages of a scrapbook or displayed in a shadow box with other memorabilia from the event. It was proof we had been there. Now all we get is a barcode ticket on our phones that may or may not show up. Mine did not for a recent event. Internet scamming is for real. In my Pollyanna brain, I thought that didn’t really happen very often, until it happened to me. And I am so careful – damn it!

Background story & rant

Please bypass this section if you do not want to hear me rant…

I received my master’s degree from Gonzaga University, so we have been “Zags” fans for many years. We have traveled to attend the West Coast Conference tournament in Las Vegas a couple times to watch their men’s basketball team. On a whim, Mr. U and I found a fairly good deal on tournament passes and decided to go again this year. The tickets were purchased a couple months ago through GOTICKETS, which I will never, never do again.

Several weeks after we purchased the tickets online, they reached out to us and explained that the “seller” meant to sell tickets for the first night of the tournament only and not the advertised full tournament passes. In fairness, they said they would provide us with comparable tournament pass seats for the same price. Fine. The tickets would arrive several days before the tournament via email.

As promised, the new tickets arrived but it was only for the first day of the tournament again. Mr. U tried reaching out to them. After numerous automated responses and being passed around, he was finally able to make contact with a real person. She said she would reach out to the seller and get back with us. She did not, so we went through the whole process again a couple days later. Same answer – they were trying to contact the seller. Never heard back.

The final day before we were to leave, we went through the whole process again. Same answer. However, they did call us back this time and said that they made an error, and that the seller meant to sell the tickets for the first day only and not the full tournament pass. Hum… heard that before. And believe me, no one in their right mind would pay that amount for tickets that were only for the first day of the tournament, so this was not an error. It was false advertising and a scam. The exact same thing happened to my brother and SIL who also tried to purchase tickets for the tournament through this site.

The person we spoke to refused to provide us with different tournament seat passes. First, she said that was because there were not any more available. When Mr. U pointed out that he was currently on their site and there were indeed some available, she said that they do not do that. (Never mind that they did that earlier when they made the exact same error.) They also refused to let us talk with a supervisor. Over 45 minutes on the phone and all the person would say is, “it was our error, and I am sorry for the inconvenience.” They did finally agree to refund our money. My brother has still been unable to get through to anyone to get a refund.

We would have just cancelled the trip all together, but we could not get a refund on our flights or hotel at this late date. There were still some tickets available online from other vendors, but we were fearful to purchase anything that way now. So, we headed to Las Vegas the next morning without any game tickets. One nice thing about aging, is that you learn to put life in perspective. Don’t get me wrong, we were furious, but it was not a life and death matter. We would go to Las Vegas and have a vacation, even if we could not get tickets when we got there.

Ironically, I am not a fan of Las Vegas. It is fun to see once but it is not a vacation destination for me. Walking the strip is a cultural experience and the themed casinos are amazing. Call me old fashioned, but I don’t care for the display of porn and I am just not a fan of gambling. (But apparently, we were gambling when we bought the game tickets.) Did I mention that I will never use GOTICKETS again? Enough said. Lesson learned.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

Enough of my rant. On with the fun stuff. I always enjoy walking through the uniquely themed casinos. We definitely got our steps in while we were there.

The Bellagio fountains and water show go off every 15-30 minutes.
The Bellagio Conservatory & Botanical Gardens change with the seasons. Easter was the theme while we were there.

When you are in Vegas you really have to go to a show. This time we went to The Piano Man, which was a Billy Joel tribute by a singer that used to travel with him. It was a good clean show but fairly short. I had to laugh when I looked around and noticed a very specific demographic attending… we all had gray hair.

One year we went to see Blue Man Group. It is a family friendly show that makes you smile. I also really enjoyed the Cirque du Soleil show we saw a couple years ago. Definitely worth seeing. Several years ago, when I was in Vegas for a conference with some co-workers, we went to the Human Bodies exhibit. We thought it was fascinating, but then it was a group of RNs. We have weird ideas of what it interesting.

The Piano Man show with a little Elton John mixed in.

One of my favorite types of entertainment in Vegas is people watching. And it is free.

The Las Vegas strip is entertaining, but it quickly gets a little too peopley for me.

For some reason, I have never discovered any amazing restaurants near Las Vegas Blvd. (aka the strip). Maybe it is because we don’t like to go to really expensive restaurants unless it is a special event. My usual trick of asking the locals came up empty because all of them say that they never go down to the strip.

The only restaurant that we have returned to is Battista’s Hole in the Wall. It has been around since 1970 and has an old world, classic Italian vibe with an unusual menu set up. You choose any entree, but they all come with the same sides: minestrone soup or an Italian salad, yummy garlic bread soaked with butter, limitless carafes of white and red house wine and a cappuccino with whip cream on top for dessert. We have been there a few times, and it was packed every time, so it is wise to get a reservation.

When Battista’s opened in 1970 it was a true hole in the wall that could only seat 14 people.
Battista’s has an Italian old-world vibe to it that has served numerous famous celebrities over the years.

How it all ended

Once we got to Las Vegas, we were able to go to the box office and purchase individual tickets for the games we most wanted to see. At this late date, tournament passes had gone up so much in price that we did not want to buy them. Despite the ticket frustrations, we made it a fun trip. The “Zag nation” showed up in full force and the games were awesome. The best part was that our team, which was the number two seed, ended up winning the tournament!

Way to go Zags!

Despite our frustration with the internet scam, we were able to enjoy our trip. This experience has made me gun shy to buy tickets online again, even though we have done it through other vendors in the past without issues. It is difficult to go to events, especially planned ones that are out of town, without making purchases via the internet. Has anyone else been scammed on the internet? Any vendors we should stay away from?

Curating a Retirement Lifestyle

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

The majority of people look forward to retirement. Who wouldn’t? Endless days of sleeping in and doing whatever we want, whenever we want. Most people have a vague idea of how they want to live their retirement years but have not carefully crafted the days and hours that are the building blocks of those years. And that is where the nitty-gritty is. It is very easy to fall into the trap of letting the days melt into each other and never really building a lifestyle that makes us excited to get out of bed in the morning. We don’t want to drift from day to day, we want to curate a retirement that makes us feel alive.

How do we do that? It takes introspection. It takes knowing yourself. All of us, whether single or with a partner, need to determine our absolutes and curate a life that focuses on those. If you have a significant other that you are sharing your retirement years with, it takes A LOT of conversations. Conversations over coffee in the morning or a glass of wine in the evening. But before you engage in those conversations, know yourself first. Know what your absolutes are for a wonderful retirement lifestyle. Be sure of the things that you do not want to live without and bring those to the table. Then be ready to be flexible with everything else.

Take time by yourself to think about your absolutes. The things that, within reason, you would be very sad or disappointed if you did not have in your life.

Retirement absolutes

My absolutes:

  • Be near family and friends.
  • Have a comfortable home that I love to be in. Preferably surrounded by nature, but close to restaurants, shopping, theatres, etc.
  • Time to feed my spirit and soul; creating, reading, writing, reflecting and prayer.
  • Good food! Not just sustaining food, but real, yummy, good food.
  • I need water close by.
  • Time for self-care. This is something I neglected during the busy work years.
  • A place where walking, riding bike and kayaking are within easy access.
  • Contributing to the greater good. While someday that may mean volunteering, right now it is being there for family when needed, and helping my dad so that he can remain independent as long as he wishes. I want his last years on this earth to be full of love and joy.

Mr. U’s absolute list was smaller. He is much less high maintenance than I am. His included:

  • Have enough money to support our retirement comfortably. (He is also much more practical than I am.)
  • Get away from the cold winters. He has had his share of gray days shoveling snow and plowing the driveway.
  • Space for a garden and woodworking.
  • Time with family and friends. At least we agreed on one thing.
  • Have something engaging to do. This is where it gets a little tricky because that may interfere with your partner’s time or plans.

Blending retirement absolutes with your spouse

We need to start Living Our Best Lives right now. Today. None of us know how many more years we will be blessed with. Every new brown spot on our skin or stomach cramp makes us wonder if it is something more serious than a liver spot or what we ate for dinner the night before. While we have been thoroughly enjoying our retirement, it was time to take some next steps towards some of our retirement absolutes. It has taken a lot of conversations to determine what that would look like. I am sharing how we blended our absolutes to curate a retirement lifestyle that fits us, in hopes that it will inspire you to make any changes necessary to be living your best retirement life. Change is hard, but if not now, when?

Blending the common absolutes

We started with the easy stuff. The common absolutes. We love where we live but as we get older, we both know that we need to downsize and move closer to town. While this big of move wasn’t something either of us really wanted to do, we knew that eventually we would need to, and it was much easier now than later. So, when the opportunity came up to rebuild a home on the beautiful property where I grew up and have so many good memories, we decided it was the open door that we needed to make the jump.

We will be downsizing to 1,700 square feet less than what we currently live in. This change of location is just a five-minute drive to town and will save us about an hour of driving/day when we want to see family and friends or just go to dinner. It will be closer to healthcare services, which is something else to consider as we age.

Blending the individual absolutes

Fortunately, this move also meets my absolutes of being by the water and nature. It feeds my soul. Kayaking will be outside my back door, and I can hop on my bike right from the house instead of having to haul it in my car down our steep gravel driveway to get to a place to ride. Our bodies will rust if we don’t use them and so we need to make it as easy and delightful as possible to do that.

It meets Mr. U’s absolutes in that it already has space for a garden there, albeit much smaller than what he currently has. It will be an honor for him to revive the garden that my dad spent so many years cultivating. Same with the garage for woodworking.

Some of our individual absolutes were a little harder to blend. This is where it gets tricky. It takes conversations and compromise. Mr. U is thoroughly enjoying his part-time job. It keeps him engaged and he enjoys all of the people he meets through it. But it also means our schedule is dependent on working around it. This compromise came through him choosing something that is very part-time and has a flexible schedule with time off whenever requested.

The other challenging absolute was getting away from the cold weather. Mr. U has wanted to snowbird for a long time. While I get tired of the cold, gray days, I tend to be more of a homebody. We finally decided on a small place in Arizona, as I explained in the previous post, Should I Take Flight and be a Snowbird? However, by the time you add the square feet of the condo to the square feet of the smaller house we are building, I am not so sure we are downsizing all that much. Hum. I have to remind myself that it is more about rightsizing.

We have spent so many hours sharing our hopes, dreams and absolutes.

And in the end…

I don’t want to get to the end of my life and realize that I did not live the life I loved. And I want to make sure that I make space for the people I love too. None of us want to have major regrets. Change is not easy. It takes planning and a ton of effort. If you have a partner, it also takes heartfelt, honest conversations and some compromising. But if you design it around your absolutes, it will be worth it in the long run. This is true of any age or stage of life we are in. I wish you the best as you curate a lifestyle that makes your heart sing.