If I could give a Mother’s Day gift to all of the mom’s out there, it would be the book, Gift From the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. This little gem was first published in 1955, but the insights on life as a mother are timeless. Maybe more so in this complex, overdriven, high expectation life that modern day mothers find themselves thrust into.
Anne was a pioneering aviator, writer, mother of five children and wife to the famous Charles Lindbergh. She understood the demands that come from all directions on mothers – the constant pull on their time and the deep desire to nurture everyone else. It leaves little left over for oneself.
“Even those (other mothers) whose lives had appeared to be ticking imperturbably under their smiling clock-faces were often trying, like me, to evolve another rhythm with more creative pauses in it, more adjustment to their individual needs, and new and more alive relationships to themselves as well as others.”
Gift From the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Being a mom
Being a mother is one of the greatest privileges of a woman’s life. But, from the very first time you hold that precious child in your arms, you realize the weight of responsibility. You become acutely aware that, as a mother, you hold the key to keeping this little being alive. There is an undeniable compulsion to protect him/her from the harsh world that they were born into, both physically and emotionally.
Our deepest desire, aside from the health and safety of their bodies and souls, is that they are happy. Ask any mom what she wants for her children and she will tell you, “I just want them to be happy.” And not just surface happy, but deep down in their gut happy. In an effort to care for them and secure their happiness, we make mistakes along the way. No perfect moms, despite our best efforts. Our parenting is often a product of our culture at the time too. Remember Dr. Spock?
As mothers, we sacrifice our time, sleep, and very being to care for our children. So much so that we forget the balance… that our children need to see us happy too. They need to see us living our lives with joy. Moms in the throes of raising children need to find the space to refresh their souls too. And not just on Mother’s Day.
That is what Lindbergh’s book gently points out. She takes a vacation alone to the ocean to rediscover herself. Through the analogy of the shells she gathers from the beach, she searches for the delicate balance of raising children but not losing herself in the process. Seeking that balance is timeless.
Being a grandma
Most grandparents do not care for their grands 24/7, so it is easier for us to strike that balance of time for ourselves, and time to give our grandchildren. We can slow down when we are with them to see the world through their eyes. They help us see the color of the caterpillar, the path the ants left marching across the sand, or the ripples spread by tossing a pebble in the water. We enter their world of imagination with them.
In these moments, we have time to gaze into their eyes as they talk and we listen. Really listen, because, as grandparents, we know that we will have time to do the wash, clean the house and pay the bills later after they leave. We are not pulled in ten different directions when we are with them, and that is the blessing that comes back to us in these later years as a grandma.
Happy Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day is a celebration of women. Women who have given a part of themselves for other people. We carry that desire to nurture others with us wherever we go in this world. We love deeply. We weep for a world where children are hurting or hungry. We see the homeless person curled up on the sidewalk and think, that person has a mother out there somewhere. We love the world with a mother’s heart, whether we are a mom physically or not.
So, whether you are a mother, or struggling with the desire to be a mother, have tragically lost a child, or have cared for people with a mother heart, you have had the privilege of sharing a woman’s love with the world. The kind of love that soothes the wounds of life. And that, is something worth celebrating, so Happy Mother’s Day to all women!
