Internet Scamming

Posted on March 14, 2025March 14, 2025 by The Retired Alchemist

Gone are the days of eagerly waiting for a paper ticket to arrive in the metal mailbox with the red flag for an anticipated event. We would clutch that ticket in our hot little hands and display it at the entrance to the big arena. Many of us kept those tickets afterwards tucked away in cedar memory chests, taped to pages of a scrapbook or displayed in a shadow box with other memorabilia from the event. It was proof we had been there. Now all we get is a barcode ticket on our phones that may or may not show up. Mine did not for a recent event. Internet scamming is for real. In my Pollyanna brain, I thought that didn’t really happen very often, until it happened to me. And I am so careful – damn it!

Background story & rant

Please bypass this section if you do not want to hear me rant…

I received my master’s degree from Gonzaga University, so we have been “Zags” fans for many years. We have traveled to attend the West Coast Conference tournament in Las Vegas a couple times to watch their men’s basketball team. On a whim, Mr. U and I found a fairly good deal on tournament passes and decided to go again this year. The tickets were purchased a couple months ago through GOTICKETS, which I will never, never do again.

Several weeks after we purchased the tickets online, they reached out to us and explained that the “seller” meant to sell tickets for the first night of the tournament only and not the advertised full tournament passes. In fairness, they said they would provide us with comparable tournament pass seats for the same price. Fine. The tickets would arrive several days before the tournament via email.

As promised, the new tickets arrived but it was only for the first day of the tournament again. Mr. U tried reaching out to them. After numerous automated responses and being passed around, he was finally able to make contact with a real person. She said she would reach out to the seller and get back with us. She did not, so we went through the whole process again a couple days later. Same answer – they were trying to contact the seller. Never heard back.

The final day before we were to leave, we went through the whole process again. Same answer. However, they did call us back this time and said that they made an error, and that the seller meant to sell the tickets for the first day only and not the full tournament pass. Hum… heard that before. And believe me, no one in their right mind would pay that amount for tickets that were only for the first day of the tournament, so this was not an error. It was false advertising and a scam. The exact same thing happened to my brother and SIL who also tried to purchase tickets for the tournament through this site.

The person we spoke to refused to provide us with different tournament seat passes. First, she said that was because there were not any more available. When Mr. U pointed out that he was currently on their site and there were indeed some available, she said that they do not do that. (Never mind that they did that earlier when they made the exact same error.) They also refused to let us talk with a supervisor. Over 45 minutes on the phone and all the person would say is, “it was our error, and I am sorry for the inconvenience.” They did finally agree to refund our money. My brother has still been unable to get through to anyone to get a refund.

We would have just cancelled the trip all together, but we could not get a refund on our flights or hotel at this late date. There were still some tickets available online from other vendors, but we were fearful to purchase anything that way now. So, we headed to Las Vegas the next morning without any game tickets. One nice thing about aging, is that you learn to put life in perspective. Don’t get me wrong, we were furious, but it was not a life and death matter. We would go to Las Vegas and have a vacation, even if we could not get tickets when we got there.

Ironically, I am not a fan of Las Vegas. It is fun to see once but it is not a vacation destination for me. Walking the strip is a cultural experience and the themed casinos are amazing. Call me old fashioned, but I don’t care for the display of porn and I am just not a fan of gambling. (But apparently, we were gambling when we bought the game tickets.) Did I mention that I will never use GOTICKETS again? Enough said. Lesson learned.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

Enough of my rant. On with the fun stuff. I always enjoy walking through the uniquely themed casinos. We definitely got our steps in while we were there.

The Bellagio fountains and water show go off every 15-30 minutes.

The Bellagio Conservatory & Botanical Gardens change with the seasons. Easter was the theme while we were there.

When you are in Vegas you really have to go to a show. This time we went to The Piano Man, which was a Billy Joel tribute by a singer that used to travel with him. It was a good clean show but fairly short. I had to laugh when I looked around and noticed a very specific demographic attending… we all had gray hair.

One year we went to see Blue Man Group. It is a family friendly show that makes you smile. I also really enjoyed the Cirque du Soleil show we saw a couple years ago. Definitely worth seeing. Several years ago, when I was in Vegas for a conference with some co-workers, we went to the Human Bodies exhibit. We thought it was fascinating, but then it was a group of RNs. We have weird ideas of what it interesting.

*The Piano Man* show with a little Elton John mixed in.

One of my favorite types of entertainment in Vegas is people watching. And it is free.

The Las Vegas strip is entertaining, but it quickly gets a little too peopley for me.

For some reason, I have never discovered any amazing restaurants near Las Vegas Blvd. (aka the strip). Maybe it is because we don’t like to go to really expensive restaurants unless it is a special event. My usual trick of asking the locals came up empty because all of them say that they never go down to the strip.

The only restaurant that we have returned to is Battista’s Hole in the Wall. It has been around since 1970 and has an old world, classic Italian vibe with an unusual menu set up. You choose any entree, but they all come with the same sides: minestrone soup or an Italian salad, yummy garlic bread soaked with butter, limitless carafes of white and red house wine and a cappuccino with whip cream on top for dessert. We have been there a few times, and it was packed every time, so it is wise to get a reservation.

When Battista’s opened in 1970 it was a true hole in the wall that could only seat 14 people.

Battista’s has an Italian old-world vibe to it that has served numerous famous celebrities over the years.

How it all ended

Once we got to Las Vegas, we were able to go to the box office and purchase individual tickets for the games we most wanted to see. At this late date, tournament passes had gone up so much in price that we did not want to buy them. Despite the ticket frustrations, we made it a fun trip. The “Zag nation” showed up in full force and the games were awesome. The best part was that our team, which was the number two seed, ended up winning the tournament!

Despite our frustration with the internet scam, we were able to enjoy our trip. This experience has made me gun shy to buy tickets online again, even though we have done it through other vendors in the past without issues. It is difficult to go to events, especially planned ones that are out of town, without making purchases via the internet. Has anyone else been scammed on the internet? Any vendors we should stay away from?

Should I Take Flight and be a Snowbird?

Posted on February 24, 2025February 24, 2025 by The Retired Alchemist

If you are retired and live in an area that gets really cold, harsh winters, you may have considered the option of being a snowbird. A snowbird is defined as a northerner who migrates to a warmer southern state in the winter. And why not? The birds are smart enough to do it. I know that we have pondered it for many years. To take flight and be a snowbird or not to be a snowbird – that is the question.

I am writing this post sitting outside on a patio in Arizona enjoying the sunshine and palm trees while it is snowing several inches at home. We are, once again, pondering the question of whether or not to be snowbirds.

Our weather forecast at home this week is on the left. The forecast for Arizona the same week is on the right.

Last year at this time we were in southwest Florida trying out the snowbird lifestyle for a month, which I wrote about in the post, Travel: Living Like the Locals. We loved the area with the Gulf (of what?) adjacent to it. The water, beaches and sunshine lifted my spirits. I can certainly see why so many people snowbird there, but there were a couple big drawbacks for us.

First, it was a full day of travel with at least one layover. Florida is about as far across the U.S. as you can get from our home in the PNW. It was just too far away from family and friends. The other consideration was the possibility of hurricanes. Several people told us that the cost of insurance on their condos was outrageous, if they could even get it covered. Sadly, about nine months after we left, Hurricanes Helene and Milton swept through the area. So, while we really enjoyed our month there, we ruled it out as a snowbird option for us.

To snowbird or not to snowbird, that is the question

The advantages

As with any major life decision, there are advantages and disadvantages, and you have to weigh those based on your lifestyle. It is about rightsizing your retirement life. The most obvious reason to snowbird is to get away from lousy winter weather. I get tired of being cold all the time, shoveling snow and navigating icy sidewalks and roads. Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing better than snow at Christmas. I love curling up by a cozy fire with a good book while the snow falls gently outside in a silent blanket of white. Bonus if I made a pot of soup to simmer all afternoon. It is beautiful and cozy… until about January. Then it becomes claustrophobic, dark and dreary.

Another advantage of fleeing to warmer temperatures are the health benefits – both physical and mental. We are much more likely to get out for a walk or hike in a warmer climate. And yes, we have gyms, but I prefer the outdoor gym. Of course, bike riding is totally out of the question in the snow. Sunshine also elevates your mood. Too many gray days can get depressing. Research shows that sunshine boosts your serotonin levels as well as vitamin D. During the winter months at home, we can go for days and days without sunshine, as you can see from the above photo.

A third advantage is the fun of exploring a new environment and meeting new people. We can get a little stale over time, and it helps to explore new places. It triggers our curiosity and opens up our creative thinking. Not to mention all of the different restaurant options! 😊 (I wonder if that defeats the health benefits?) It is wise to choose a place that has lots of things to do that you enjoy.

The disadvantages

Being a snowbird also comes with some disadvantages. The most obvious one is the cost. Renting a place for a few months adds up. You can buy something, but then there is the initial cost, as well as the upkeep and/or HOAs. However, if you buy something, you can rent it out part of the year to defray some of the costs and you should get a long-term return on your investment.

The other big disadvantage is being away from your life at home that long. This is particularly difficult if you sit on a board, volunteer or work part-time. Mr. U has a part-time job at home, but they are very flexible and willing to work with retired employee schedules. (That was a requirement for us.) For me, it is hard being away from family and friends for extended periods of time. I miss my peeps. This week we met a couple that snowbird in Arizona from Wisconsin. They were also torn because all of their family was back in Milwaukee. Their solution was to plan several trips back home for family events or just some grandparent time.

If we were to snowbird, it needed to be a quick flight back and forth to our home in the north. Arizona is only about a 2 1/2-hour direct flight for us. That meant that we could travel back and forth much easier and cheaper than Florida. Son #4 has a condo in Arizona that he rents out when he isn’t visiting there, so we knew we would get to see him there some. Also, it is close enough that family and friends can visit. Matter of fact, my granddaughter was just there last weekend for a gymnastics meet and we were able to go watch her while there. That being said, we would still not do the traditional snowbird life of being gone for a full 4-6 months at a time.

Never say never

After our month in Florida last year, we decided not to snowbird. One year ago, I wrote a post about that decision, explaining Why I Won’t be a Snowbird Any Time Soon. And then winter showed up… again. And we are not getting any younger. The timing seemed right, and Arizona checked most of the boxes for us. So, we finally got off the fence and purchased a condo in Scottsdale. Common sense be damned. It is past time to live our best retirement life.

We took the snowbird plunge. Note the cute little turtle at the bottom of the picture. There is a walking path right by our condo that goes along this pond. It will keep me more physically active in the winter just to go see the wildlife.

Maybe George Jetson Had It Right All Along

Posted on February 3, 2025February 4, 2025 by The Retired Alchemist

If you are old enough to be retired, you probably remember the 1962 cartoon, The Jetsons. Arguably, some of the best cartoons aired in the 60’s, such as The Flintstones, Rocky & Bullwinkle, and “not a bird, nor a plane, nor even frog, just little old me… Underdog!” And don’t forget nearsighted old Mr. Magoo. It was a great time to be a kid. Of these cartoons, it was The Jetsons that playfully looked into the future. We watched with amazement and laughter as The Jetsons used unfathomable technology in their daily lives from their home up in the sky in Orbit City. Little did we know, The Jetsons had it right all along.

How The Jetsons predicted the future

The Jetsons was an unimaginable, futuristic cartoon. But now, over 60 years later, a lot of what they used has come into our everyday existence. Let me give you a few examples.

Remember Rosie, the sassy robot that cleaned house for them? Now we have the self-driving Roomba vacuum, and it doesn’t even make any wise cracks while it works.
Like The Jetsons, we now have voice activated alarm clocks that gently wake us to our favorite song, instead of a loud, obnoxious beeping sound. Not to mention our brain assistant, Alexa. No wonder I can’t remember anything anymore… I don’t have to.
One episode shows George Jetson reading the newspaper online. This was at a time when everyone received their ink smudged newspaper on their doorstep – flung there by the neighbor kid down the block as he rode past on his early morning paper route.
We were all watching The Jetsons on a big clunky T.V. with an enormous box behind it. It was often housed in a large wooden T.V. stand that served as a piece of furniture. We observed The Jetsons as they watched T.V. on a flatscreen mounted to the wall.
The Jetsons had moving sidewalks, while we now use treadmills to go nowhere.
Not only did the Jetson family have smart watches, but they also had a smart house.
George Jetson may have participated in the first ever video conference. As a kid watching the show, I never would have guessed that someday I would be actively taking part in Zoom meetings.
And lastly, the self-driving car. George’s car sure beat Fred Flintstone’s car that was propelled forward by his own two feet.

Mr. U and I recently escaped to Scottsdale Arizona for a few days of sunshine and warmth. As we pulled up to a stop light, I looked across at the car in the lane next to us… with no one in the driver or front passenger seats. It expertly waited for the light and other cars before turning. The passenger sat calmly in the back seat staring at his phone – not unlike many drivers that scroll through their phones while sitting at a red light, or worse yet, while driving. We don’t have any of these self-driving cars (also known as autonomous cars) in our small town up north, but we are starting to see quite a few of them in Arizona.

This sign was posted on the wall at the Phoenix Airport.

Many of the technologies and conveniences that were in The Jetsons cartoon have come to happen in real life. When we were on our trip to Florida last year, we saw the below robot in a restaurant. I do not think her name was Rosie, but she was very busy delivering meals to customers.

I wonder if we will see more of these in the future.

Keeping up with technology

Like many baby boomers, I have a love/hate relationship with technology. I resist learning it, but once I do, I love the amazing convenience it usually provides. Mr. U and I both cringe when we hear the word “upgrade” because it means the technology will change, just when we finally had it figured out. And we have used more than a few swear words trying to get some techno gadget set up. But it is imperative that we remain at least somewhat current on technology if we want to stay in the mainstream of modern life. If you do not force yourself to do it, life will pass you by.

Mr. U remembers his aunt using the phone on the left at the farmhouse that his dad grew up in. And I am sure that many of us remember picking up the dial phone, only to hear the neighbor’s conversation on the party line. Now we have handheld cell phones with customizable backgrounds that fit in our back pocket. We’ve come a long way!

My dad has chosen not to embrace much technology. He gets a pass because he is 97 years old, however he misses out on some of life because of it. He did not keep his cell phone because he never got comfortable using it. But then he misses out on texts and pictures from his kids and grandkids that I know he would enjoy. He was frustrated when a business would only accept credit cards (which he does not keep) because they needed to hold a deposit with it. So, he had to call me on the business’s land line to get my credit card number to use. He was not happy about that.

I have used many of the modern conveniences predicted by The Jetsons. However, I have not ridden in an autonomous car yet. The closest I have come is riding in son #4’s Tesla. It is a little unnerving when he takes his hands off the wheel as we are zipping down the road at 55 miles/hour. Yet, I am sure this is safer than 75% of the drivers out there. And self-driving cars don’t have emotions, which would eliminate road rage. But I don’t think I am ready to hop in the back seat and get an autonomous Uber ride yet. My hope is that they are the norm when I get older and am unable to drive myself. How about you – would you take a ride through the city in an autonomous car?

Liv’n On Someday Isle

Posted on November 17, 2024November 17, 2024 by The Retired Alchemist

How much of your life have you lived on Someday Isle? Someday Isle is that ambiguous position between how I am living right now and how I want to be living. It is that time of waiting for “something” to happen in order to be happy. We spend so much of our lives waiting for something to change or happen in order to fully appreciate life. Waiting to start school, waiting to be done with school, waiting to leave home for the first time, waiting for the wedding day, waiting to hear back on the job interview, waiting to buy that first home, waiting for the baby to arrive, waiting for the empty nest, waiting to retire. Now what are you waiting for? Maybe it is time to quit living on Someday Isle.

Another boat to Someday Isle is procrastination. It comes in all sorts of forms. Someday I will lose those pesky ten pounds. Someday I will start the exercise class. Someday I will eat healthier. Someday I will put self-care first, or a million other promises we make to ourselves… someday. Today is the someday that we have been waiting for.

When Mr. U’s aunt passed away, we had to clean out the house she lived in since childhood. The upstairs had not been lived in for years and had become a storage area. In it we found unopened tins of Christmas cookies and unopened boxes of chocolates that were now stale. There were beautiful hand embroidered pillowcases. They were all being saved for someday. There were also stacks of styrofoam containers and even bags of cut hair. His aunt lived through the depression, and she kept these items for that elusive someday. Not really sure how the hair was going to be used though???

Many times, when you reach a certain age, there are less “somedays” to look forward to, so we start looking back. We remember, with rose colored glasses, the good ole days. The one perfect touchdown made, the soul stirring first kiss, the award we won, the big deal we landed at work, the abundant feeling of a full nest. As you get older, it is easy to fall into the trap of feeling like the best of life is behind you. Instead of living in the abyss of waiting for someday or remembering the good ole days on replay, why not enjoy the abundance of living in the here and now. As the song by Gabby Barrett says, “cause right here, right now, I say these are the glory days.”

SKI fund

A couple that was traveling in our area recently told us that they were here using some of their SKI fund for the trip. It was the middle of summer so of course we had to ask what a SKI fund was. It was their acronym for “spending the kid’s inheritance.” Smile.

We have never been freer to do as we please than we are in retirement. Our children are grown and building their own lives, and we get to reap the rewards from that. If we planned our retirement finances well, we are free from a work schedule and financial concerns. Yet, even in the glory days of retirement, it is still too easy to live on Someday Isle, especially if you have been living there most of your life. It can become our normal. It used to be called delayed gratification, which I believe in. However, we have delayed and saved and now is the time to enjoy the benefits of that.

We keep waiting to take the next big trip to Europe because my dad is 97 years old, and I worry about being that far away from him. We are reluctant to buy that condo in the sun because we wonder if we will use it enough to be worth it. And then there is the fact that we really need to downsize… someday. This is what liv’n on Someday Isle looks like in retirement and it is time to get off and start using our SKI fund.

Getting off of Someday Isle

Of course we want to be prudent with our money in retirement. We don’t want to run out of money before we run out of life. And of course we want to leave something to our children when we leave this earth. But we also need to enjoy the here and now. After all, have you ever seen a U-Haul trailer behind a hearse?

We spend our whole life being responsible, doing the right thing, being the good girl, and we forget to live out some of our dreams. The majority of people that are close to death have more regrets about what they didn’t do than what they did do. I don’t want to get to my deathbed and have regrets that I did not live out the things on my someday list, and retirement is the perfect time to do that. All it takes is one good health scare to remind you that THIS is the someday that we have been saving for. It is a beautiful life waiting to be lived. So, let’s take the plunge and swim off of Someday Isle.

Take the first available boat and get off of Someday Isle to live life to the fullest now.

My Mother Heart

Posted on October 18, 2024October 18, 2024 by The Retired Alchemist

This post is for all of the mothers out there. Mothers who wear their hearts on their sleeves. Mothers who have spent countless nights on their knees. Mothers whose hearts swell with joy and pride until they feel like they might burst. To be a mother is to experience all of life’s emotions at their deepest level and to come out on the other side completely wrung dry and totally fulfilled. For one is never the same once you have experienced a mother heart.

Mr. U and I dated for five years before we got married. It gave us a lot of time to discuss our goals in life and how we saw our future together. We both agreed that we wanted a big family. Him, because he was an only child and felt like he missed out on a lot of life as a result. Me, because I came from a family of six kids and loved it. That is how we ended up having four sons. Best thing we ever did. But… there were many times we wondered what in the hell we were doing – we had absolutely no business being parents.

The fact is that raising children is not for the faint of heart. When they hurt, you hurt twice as much. When they make poor choices, you question your abilities as a parent. When your kids are faced with the inevitable challenges of life, you want to sweep in and save them from it, even though you know that working it through themselves is part of growing up.

You invest your life blood into raising your family and you worry. And then you worry some more. There were numerous moments when I questioned whether I was made of the right stuff to be an adequate parent. And many, many times when I questioned if I was doing the right thing by them. The opportunities to do it all wrong are endless. You worry that you have ruined their lives because of one thoughtless comment or one error in judgement.

But mothers (and fathers) of young children, and especially teenagers, take heart. The payoff is yet to come. Suddenly they grow up to be these amazing human beings, and you wonder how they ever did that… apparently, despite our numerous failures as parents. But when it does, you will be forever grateful that you lived your life with a mother heart.

When it all comes back to you

A couple of weeks ago, Mr. U and I got to experience life at its very best. A week that will fill our hearts and carry us through the winter months ahead. We were able to gather all four of our boys (yes, they will always be my “boys” even though they are grown men) and their families together for a week at the Oregon coast. It was magical. My mother heart is full.

It is not easy to gather everyone together. They are in the thrust of their careers. A couple of them have started families and they all have their own commitments in life. We are no longer the center that their world gravitates around, which is exactly as it should be. But it does make it challenging to get everyone together for a full week of vacation. Therefore, we settled on dates and booked the VRBO months ahead. It has been a rough summer for us, and we were really looking forward to unstructured time together.

We had all three, and a half, grandchildren on the trip. Yep, on the first night son #3 and his wife announced that they are expecting a new addition to their family. What a fun surprise to start out our week! Being a grandparent is the best. All of the fun without all of the work. It is amazing to see your sons being these awesome fathers. But something I did not expect was how your heart swells when you observe your sons playing and sharing moments with their nieces and nephew. Mother heart be still.

Rockaway, Oregon

Our family has a long history of spending time at the Oregon coast. My parents took us there on the rare vacations we had as a family. Mr. U and I lived in Portland, Oregon for our first four years of married life and it was always a treat to take a weekend over at the coast. And ever since our own children were small, we have made a point of bringing them to the coast to experience the sand squishing up between their toes, the salty spray on their lips and running from the roaring waves with reckless abandon. What a pleasure to experience this with them as adults and with our grandkids.

We spent time playing on the beach, flying kites, making sandcastles, running from waves, walking and reading. The brothers even braved the cold waters to try boogie boarding. Brrr. They made a hasty dash for the hot tub after that. Nothing makes my mother heart stir quite like seeing my four boys, and now grandson, playing football together. It is something they all enjoy and have done for years. I flash back 25 years when they were around my grandson’s age and see them throwing the football in our yard. Mother hearts remember the important stuff.

Getting crabby

One of our favorite things to do when we are at Rockaway is to go crabbing at Garibaldi. Garibaldi marina has been there as long as I can remember and they rent out boats, bait and crab rings. Bait being ugly, slimy dead fish or chicken carcasses. Long before we had kids, we would rent a boat and motor out to the bay to throw in a few crab rings. The very first time we went crabbing we hauled in a net full of crabs and set it in the bottom of the boat. Immediately crabs started walking sideways all over. I jumped up on the seat screaming to get them out, which is a bit of a trick to do without getting pinched. However, by the third ring pull, I was in there grabbing the small or female crabs (you can only keep males that are 5 3/4 inches wide) and throwing them overboard. It was so much fun that we have kept up the tradition since. So of course, we had to try catching a few crabs one day while we were there. If you love fresh crab and have not tried this before, I highly recommend it.

We caught enough crab to fix a seafood cajun boil that night. So good. Just throw seafood, potatoes, corn, brat sausages, lemon and cajun seasoning into a huge pot and let it simmer. Once it is done you drain it and throw it out on the table for everyone to help themselves. Perfect with some hot crispy french bread.

The seafood cajun boil was especially good with fresh crab.

I have written before about the importance of traditions and building memories. They create bonds that last a lifetime. They are the cement that holds a family together. And they are fodder for stories and laughter that fuel a family through the years. One of our greatest hopes in our lives is that our children will remain close. That they will share in each other’s joys and hold each other up through life’s tough times, long after we are no longer walking on this earth. So, make the effort, take the time, spend the money. It is something you will never regret.

The gang holding the cooked crabs. Moi is kneeling, center.

Living with a mother heart

People do not have to be physical mothers to experience a mother heart for the world. Once you experience having a mother heart, you feel life with raw emotions. Your soul weeps when you see children that are hungry, displaced or lonely. Your heart goes out to the people that lost family and homes in the hurricanes on the gulf coast, or the wars and devastation in the middle east. A mother heart is one that cares about the poor, the needy, the brokenhearted and the downtrodden. A mother heart feels the world on a deeper level. But they also feel the joy on a deeper level too because they know, deep down in their souls, what a gift it is to be alive and breathing in this world of ours.

TheRetiredAlchemist

Journeys