Lifestyle

Retirement Metamorphosis

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

It is kind of a big word, metamorphosis, but it describes what often happens if we are doing retirement right – if we are growing and changing and becoming. There are too many stagnant retirees sitting around. You know the ones. All they want to talk about is their life before they retired. They find a way to mention what they did for a living, how big their company was or how many direct reports they had. I hate to break it to them, but no one cares anymore. We are career “has beens.” It is time for a metamorphosis.

What is retirement metamorphosis?

Metamorphosis is the biological change that happens as something grows. Once you go through metamorphosis you are no longer the same and there is no going back. Every retirement should experience a metamorphosis. We should not be the same person we were when we were working 40+ hours per week. We finally have time to do those things that are deep within us. Things that stir our soul. Things that don’t pay the bills, but make our hearts sing.

I know several retirees that are using this time to evolve. They are building an interesting retirement lifestyle. Let me give you a few real-life examples:

  • A retired physician has become an artist and sells his work at the Pacific Artists’ Co-op Art Gallery on the Oregon Coast.
  • A retired marketing rep. expanded her interest in gardening to become a master gardener and now runs a small nursery, and on-line store called The Coeur d’Alene Coop – Raising Chickens and Urban Gardening.
  • A retired nurse thrifts quality clothing and recreates it into beautiful, one-of-a-kind bags to sell on her Etsy shop.
  • A retired radiology technician took some pottery making classes and now teaches it at the local college.
  • A retired schoolteacher upcycles furniture and decorative items that he and his wife sell in their vendor booth at a local vintage market.

None of these retirees need the money they bring in from their hobbies. Each started out doing it because they wanted to create. They wanted to express themselves and grow and become. None of them wanted to spend their retirement years sitting around watching T.V. or doomscrolling. They used these bonus years to metamorphosize into a new version of themselves in retirement.

You can sit around and rust out in retirement. Or… you can take the time and effort to metamorphosize your retirement into something worth living for.

Am I really a writer?

When I retired, I decided I wanted to devote time to creative writing, so I started this blog. But I don’t consider myself a writer. I don’t get paid to do it. I haven’t written a book, and I don’t have any advertising or affiliate marketing on my blog. Matter of fact, it costs money to maintain this blog. (Hum… it would be nice if it would pay for itself.) I write because it is something that I love to do, and I enjoy the interaction with readers and other bloggers. However, I don’t consider myself “a writer.” Or I didn’t. But now I am having second thoughts.

I recently had the pleasure of being asked to provide a guest post on one of my favorite retirement blogs, The Retirement Manifesto. If you do not already read this blog, I would highly recommend it. It is a popular, well written retirement blog that I have read for years. I consider it the gold standard of retirement blogs, so I was honored when Fritz reached out to ask if I would provide a guest post.

Maybe I have metamorphosized into a writer in retirement after all.

“Working” from home on my blog in the early morning hours.

Metamorphosizing and money

Still, the question lingers in the back of my mind, do you have to be paid to consider yourself an artist, writer, or gardener? Do you have to paid for your creations to consider it a metamorphosis? Perhaps that line of thinking is a holdover from our careers, or our society in general. We assign value to something if others are willing to use their hard-earned cash to get it. It is the universal stamp of approval.

But just ask any of the creative retirees that I mentioned above, and they will tell you they started their hobby long before they got money for it. It erupted from an inner desire to create. To grow and challenge themselves and to add something of beauty to the world.

One retiree’s metamorphosis led to building an entire little town behind his house. Not because he felt he should, or needed to for any particular reason, but because he was drawn to do it. His creativity was seeking a way to be released. It did not make him any money. Matter of fact, he and his lovely wife spent a lot of money building it and filling it with authentic details. And boy did he ever create an amazing little town. You can read about Bobville here.

In conclusion

In retirement, we don’t need to get paid or sponsored by a company. While the extra money is always nice, we don’t typically need it to buy groceries. We do not need to be paid to consider it a metamorphosis. Anyone can do it.

Your retirement metamorphosis can be starting a new health journey at 65, or committing to a hike out in nature every week, or perfecting the art of making sour dough bread. Maybe your metamorphosis is taking up journaling while you enjoy the quiet moments of reflection that you did not have time for when you were working. It doesn’t matter what it is, and you don’t need to get paid to do it. What matters is that you continue to grow and create and change… even in retirement. Maybe especially then.

I have been trying my hand at watercolor. I am definitely not an artist, but I am enjoying the relaxing process of it. There are plenty of tutorials available, as well as face-to-face classes to learn the technique. I like that there is minimal investment to get started and it is portable. I have made a few watercolor cards for family and friends, but I will never be great at it. The important thing is that I am enjoying it and that it stretches me to learn and grow.

What does your retirement metamorphosis look like? Are you still evolving into the lifestyle you want to be living in these bonus years? Is there something lingering in the back of your brain that you really want to do or try? Not because you should, or because you will get paid for it, but just because it intrigues you. The beauty of it is that we get to decide.

Cheers to the retirement years!

Retirement Drift

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

I was at a community picnic a few weeks ago and was chatting with an acquaintance. She has been retired for several years while her husband, a physician, still works a couple days a week. Initially, her retirement was full of travel and involvement in politics. She was still relatively healthy, so I asked her what she was up to now. She paused, and sadly responded, “well… I watch a lot of T.V. ” My heart dropped. This is a person who has clearly fallen into retirement drift.

What is retirement drift?

We spent years saving and planning for retirement. It is thrilling to walk out the door that last day of work with total freedom and rest waiting for you. After all, we worked our whole lives and deserve some time to relax during business hours, right? Absolutely. However, too many weeks, months and then years, of unstructured, unchallenged days that lack direction can lead to lethargy, a lack of purpose and depression. Like any bad habit, retirement drift happens insidiously… one too many T.V. shows at a time.

When you are in retirement drift, your days blur into each other. Your life loses purpose and meaning. You lack motivation and energy. And you start to think, retirement is not what I expected.

Retirement drift is not a failure; it is a signal. It is the siren that warns you that you are entering a danger zone and you need to recalibrate. You need to change your direction. Too much freedom without some structure and intention can easily fall into retirement drift. It is said that you don’t want to retire away from something, but rather, you want to retire to something. Most of us our a little burned out when we finally decide to retire, but you still need to have some active hobbies and interests that draw you towards retirement. Things you have been looking forward to spending more time doing.

Here is the problem with retirement drift. It happens very slowly. Kind of like the story of the frog that sits in the pot of warm water that is slowly turned up to a boil, and he never jumps out because it occurs so gradually. I don’t think most people plan to fall into retirement drift, it just happens over time if you are not on your guard and take action to prevent it.

The problem with retirement drift is that you can eventually end up stuck on shore, not experiencing life fully.

How to avoid retirement drift.

I don’t think anyone wants to fall into retirement drift. My acquaintance was clearly not happy with her life. So how do we avoid it? The best way to prevent retirement drift is to be an active participant in your own life. Don’t get too comfortable sitting on the bleachers watching everyone else playing the game. Yes, it takes effort to jump in, but the fun and joy outweigh the effort every time. Here a few ways to avoid sliding into retirement drift.

  • Commit to a loose schedule. Commit to a few things that get you out of the house and engaging with other people every week. I typically meet up with my sister once a week, a friend on Fridays and watch my grandson on Mondays. I know retirees that volunteer, play Mahjong, or pickleball every week. It doesn’t matter what it is, it just matters that you do it. It adds structure and purpose to your retirement and helps prevent retirement drift.
  • Be engaged and engaging. My acquaintance’s comment about watching T.V. all the time, was a real conversation stopper. How do you respond to that? And quite honestly, I thought… this is not someone I want to be or become good friends with. If you want to have an engaged retirement, you have to start by being engaging.
  • Commit to one activity that gives you energy. Start with just one. Maybe it is dusting off an old hobby that got left on a shelf during the busy years. Or maybe it is something you have always been curious about. Read up on it. Buy the supplies. Take a class and ask questions of others that are already doing it. Many retirees are joining Meetup groups of people that have similar interests.
  • Stay active. Move your body. Get out and walk, ride bike, kayak, garden, swim, or whatever moves you… literally. Aside from all of the health benefits of physical activity, it boosts our confidence and morale. We are literally taking action, not just drifting along. Bonus that it gives you something interesting to talk about.
  • Be interested and interesting. I am going to share a little pet peeve of mine. I enjoy meeting new retirees and learning how they are managing this new phase in life. But, more often than not, instead of a two-way conversation, it becomes a complete history of their lives and all I have contributed are a few questions and several “uh hum’s.” While I enjoy hearing about their lives, I would like it to be more than a one-sided conversation. If you want to have an interesting retirement, you have to be interested and interesting.

Quit drifting and make a few waves

Make a few waves in these bonus years to prevent retirement drift.

We are in the process of planning a trip to Europe. Due to family commitments, we have not traveled overseas for several years. We seem to have lost a little bit of confidence and energy in that gap. We find that we have less of a carefree attitude when trying to figure out the logistics. Planning and decision-making feel more stressful. We are jumping in anyway. If we don’t push past our comfort zones, we can easily become stagnant and start to drift.

Retirement drift happens by slowly disengaging with life, people and interests. Usually, it is the path of least resistance. But if you have your health, retirement should not be a slow decline of life. It is not an ending. It is a new phase, and it should be some of our most interesting and engaging years. Never before have we had the time, money and freedom to explore what we are curious about. Just because we don’t have a job to go to, doesn’t mean we quit living. Quite the opposite. It is the perfect time to become more ourselves than ever before.

Cheers to the retirement years!

Moving Forward

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

It is hard to believe that it has been over six weeks since my wonderful dad left his earthly home and was reunited with my mom. I miss his presence in the world. There was a palpable absence at my brother’s annual prime rib dinner on Father’s Day. Big brother #2 gets up early every Father’s Day to start smoking three large prime ribs. The aroma is almost as good as the taste. But Father’s Days is over and it is time to start moving forward again.

My big bro’s prime rib is so well known that his wife made a sign for him.

As those of you that have lost a parent know, those first six weeks are mentally and physically exhausting. We just finished up with the emotionally charged task of cleaning out my parent’s home. Their shelter from the world. It has been a poignant roller coaster of laughter, tears and memories. Recessed closet shelves and boxes tucked in deep drawers sheltered little nuggets of their lives that gave us pause.

The physical work is done. We have packed up the memories and stored them in our hearts… and in a few closet shelves and deep drawers for our own children to unearth someday. The circle of life continues on. And so must we.

Moving forward

A big life change like losing someone you love, causes you to question everything. Deep questions, like – why am I here, what is my purpose, and how do I want to use the time I have left of this one and only precious life. Periodic life evaluation is healthy. It causes us to reassess and ensure that we are moving forward purposefully. It is the path to living without regrets.

I have spent some quiet evenings feeling a bit like Dobie Gillis standing in front of the statue in the park while he contemplates the meaning of life (if you know, you know). I thought about how I want to move forward as I sifted through the memories and remnants of my parent’s lives. It was nothing shockingly different from how I am currently living but rather, little shifts in how I want to use my time. Because time and energy are our most precious commodities, particularly as we age.

My parents left behind a few things that helped me to determine how I should use my time and energy during my retirement years. There are lessons to be had in knitting needles, a metal lunch box, the margins of a bible scribbled with notations, binoculars, an old worn hat and a kite.

The knitting needles – choose your dopamine rush

My mom was a collector. She enjoyed the hunting and gathering of items she loved. She really liked knitting and had a large collection of needles. More than she could ever use. Purchasing items we want gives us a quick dopamine (the feel-good hormone) rush, but the exhilarating feeling usually wears off shortly after we get the item home.

When we want to make a change or do something exciting, we get a dopamine rush just from thinking, planning, reading or buying items for it. That is the reason that the planning and anticipation are half the fun. This is good… to an extent.

The problem is that we often get stuck in the quick fix dopamine surges created by planning, thinking, reading or buying items for an interest or hobby, but never follow through on it. Hence all of the well-intentioned treadmills gathering dust. It is easier to live in the dopamine derived from anticipation. But that will never be as fulfilling, or long lasting, as getting a dopamine rush through experiences. As I continue moving forward, the knitting needles are a stark reminder to choose my dopamine rush carefully so that I am living life fully now.

The lunch pail – don’t give up on your passion

My dad (right) working at his gas station.

Buried deep in my parent’s garage was my dad’s scratched and dented metal lunch pail. Seeing it brought back a flood of memories: my mom rising early every weekday morning to put on the coffee and fill dad’s lunch pail with a hearty sandwich, fruit and a homemade goody – all wrapped lovingly in wax paper. And there was always a sturdy thermos of coffee to go with it.

My dad was an entrepreneur at heart. Shortly after my parents got married, he bought a gas station that he successfully operated for several years. Eventually he decided to sell the station and took a job with a steady paycheck and good benefits, which was important for a growing family. He did a good job because he believed that anything worth doing was worth doing well, but he never loved it. He could have stayed there in the security of it, but he trusted his gut and followed his passion to be an entrepreneur once again.

So, 58 years ago, my parents took out a mortgage on the house and bought a small wood product mill that operated out of a dilapidated chicken coop. It outgrew the chicken coop in the first year and my dad turned it into a thriving, successful business that the next three generations of his family continue to own and operate. All because he chose to follow his passion, even when it wasn’t the safest choice at the time. As I continue moving forward, the scratched metal lunchbox is a stark reminder to trust my gut, take a risk and follow my passions and dreams. Be true to your authentic self even if no one else can see your vision.

The bibles – step outside your comfort zone

As long as I can remember, my mom read her bible daily. She made notes in the margins including prayers for others, answered prayers, and nuggets of wisdom she derived from the verses. She poured over it, and her curiosity to understand it led her into deep studies of the bible. It was evident by her marked study bibles, theological commentaries, biblical dictionaries and copious notebooks she filled.

She was a self-taught bible scholar. Over time, she became extremely knowledgeable in the study of the bible. She could have stopped there and just filled her own heart. Instead, she pushed herself out of her comfort zone and started teaching bible studies. She shared her gift with others through her bible studies, prayers and encouragement. The impact she made was clearly evident as we read through the cards and letters that people sent thanking her for sharing her gift with them and how it changed their lives.

As I continue moving forward, the bibles and cards are a stark reminder to share my interests, talents and gifts with others. Live my purpose even though it is uncomfortable. Don’t hide it in a corner that soothes yourself but no one else benefits from.

The binoculars and hat – nature heals our fractured lives

My dad’s binocular case sat on a shelf reminding us of his love for nature. Sitting beside his binoculars was a very worn brimmed hat that he always plopped on before he headed outside. My dad did not watch much T.V. – he preferred his newspaper, books and being outdoors with his binoculars hung around his neck and the brim of his hat shading his eyes.

Armed with his hat and binoculars he was ready to enjoy the great outdoors. He was drawn to nature, instinctively knowing it was a healing balm for the soul, long before all of the research studies confirmed it (Nurtured by nature). Even in his last couple years, he would point out a tree in bloom or remind us to stop and listen to the birds sing. He instinctively knew that nature repairs our fractured lives.

In our busy digital absorbed lives, we tend to shelter in and close down to the world as we focus on our screens. As I continue moving forward, the binoculars and worn hat are a stark reminder to close my laptop, turn off my phone and get out in nature to refresh my soul.

Dad out fishing with his favorite old worn hat on.

The kite – take time for joy and fun

My sister and I were burrowing our way into one of the closets in my parent’s home when we came across something bright nestled in the corner. As we removed items in front of it, tears came to our eyes. It was my dad’s kite. Yes, he still had a kite tucked away for a windy day.

A few months after my mom passed away, my dad turned 95. His grieving heart wanted to see the ocean one last time. The crashing waves and sandy beaches held special memories for him and mom. Trips to the Oregon Coast were a part of my childhood and Mr. U and I have carried that tradition on with our own kids and now their families. (See posts, My Mother Heart and Planning Your Retirement Wealth Portfolio.) Traditions show up in unexpected ways.

So, my sister and I thought… why not take him to the ocean for his 95th birthday? My dad brought along his kite. He wanted to fly it on the windy beach one last time. It was a perfect afternoon when we let out the strings and watched the kites soar. But the best part was the smile on my dad’s face. As I continue moving forward, the kite is a stark reminder to take time for joy and fun. Because we never know when it will be our last chance.

My dad and Mr. U flying kites at the Oregon coast.

Reevaluating my use of time and energy

There were so many items left behind. Remnants of a life well lived. As I turned these items over in my hands, I knew that that my parents were also leaving me with wisdom on how to move forward after they were gone. Tangible items that were packed with lessons on life.

The knitting needles, lunch pail, bibles, binoculars, hat and kite, represent just some of the lessons I walked away with. There are three ways that I plan to apply these lessons as I move forward:

  • I want to be intentional about choosing my dopamine rush. Get out there and experience my dopamine rush in real life and not by just making a list, observing it on a screen or buying items to support it. Being out in nature and travel are guaranteed dopamine rushes for me that I need to honor.
  • Pouring my soul into words and sharing snippets of my life is definitely out of my comfort zone. It is scary and vulnerable to send your heart out into the world. But writing is a passion and this blog is an avenue to share that passion. I hope that it encourages and inspires readers in positive ways. I plan to continue with it but move it more in a direction that resonates with me, and hopefully you, at this point in life. More of a focus on healthy, positive aging (not to be confused with anti-aging), living retirement with authenticity, intention and joy and finding happiness in the simple pleasures of life. If this is for you, then stay tuned because there is lots more to unpack in future posts.
  • Lastly, I want to take more time for pleasure and fun. Fly more kites. Things that have no purpose other than they make your heart sing. Besides, there is fodder for future blog posts buried in the fun and play.

Life is full of curiosity, beauty, joy and lessons to still be learned, no matter how old we are. Thanks for hanging with me on this long post. As you move forward with your life, I hope you find your positive dopamine rush, get out in nature, step out of your comfort zone and delve into what you are passionate about. And don’t forget to experience fun and delight along the way.

Cheers to the retirement years!

Lights Out

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

Our favorite weather saying in the PNW is, “if you don’t like the weather, just wait five minutes.” That is especially true in March and April. I can’t complain, because we’ve had a relatively mild winter this year. But just when we were thinking about crocuses popping up, we got hit with high winds and our worst snowstorm of the year. Of course, it happens when Mr. U is out of town.

The night the lights went out

Mr. U and I had been on a short trip, and I was flying back early. My flight was delayed several hours so I ended up not getting home until 2:00 a.m. during a high windstorm. (Just for the record, I HATE turbulence in a plane.) Branches broke, trees snapped and the wind gusts made it a challenge to keep my car on the road while driving home from the airport. When I pulled around the corner into the bay, I noticed that it was exceptionally dark. None of the neighbors had their lights on. Hum.

Inevitably, the wind had knocked the electricity out. Now I had to enter a dark house that was still fairly new to me, in the middle of the pitch-black night during a powerful windstorm. I pulled into the driveway and sat in my car while I considered my options. Earlier in the evening, my sister texted me about the storm and offered to have me stay with her. I was wishing I had taken her up on her offer at this point. I considered getting a hotel, but I don’t even know if you can check into a hotel in the middle of the night. Nope. I just needed to put on my big girl panties and go into the dark house with my cell phone light that had a low battery. It was cold and scary. Your imagination can get carried away in the dark of the night.

Fortunately, I keep a lot of candles (both real and battery operated) around the house.

I was able to get a couple candles lit to find my way around the house and was relieved to find that there were no boogeymen lurking in the closet or under the bed. (You never outgrow some fears.) I piled every blanket I could find on the bed and listened to the wind howl outside before I fell into a fitful sleep. When I woke up in the morning the lights were back on and the heat was pumping through the house. It lasted for a full day and then we got a snowstorm and out went the electricity again. This time for 24 hours.

24 hours off the grid

You do not realize how much you use electricity until you do not have it. Fortunately, our gas fireplaces work without electricity, so I was able to keep the house reasonably warm. The first several hours I was totally frustrated. I kept flipping on switches, forgetting that it would not do anything, and turning on the faucet that could not produce water.

I went to the store to stock up on water, batteries and some food that did not need to be cooked. Then I called Mr. U to complain. There was no running water, no lights, no heat, no internet, no T.V. and you can’t even charge your phone, Kindle, or laptop. We are way too dependent on our devices. Once I accepted all of this, I settled in.

A cozy, peaceful evening at home off the grid.

Turns out we don’t need all of those electric devices to enjoy an evening at home. It was cozy and oh so quiet. I have a couple little chargeable lights that cast a nice glow. Between those and the candlelight, I was able to settle in under a blanket and spent the evening reading and writing by hand. My blood pressure dropped, my heartbeat slowed and my soul was able to catch up with my body. It was exactly what I needed. There is peace in the pause that we seldom allow ourselves time to lean into.

It was so nice to have a couple of these little rechargeable touch lights. Note to self, keep them charged in the winter.

Back in the ole days

When I was a kid, growing up in this very spot we now live, the electricity was guaranteed to go out every winter… several times. We got more snow and colder temps. back then. I specifically remember one year when I was around seven years old, and the electricity went out for five days. I thought it was magical to sit by the fire and read by candlelight. I imagined myself to be Laura Ingalls Wilder from the Little House on the Prairie books that I devoured. The one negative that I remember is that the porcelain toilet seat was really, really cold! I am quite sure my mom and dad remember a lot more negatives.

I can’t imagine having the electricity out that long with five kids at home. They pulled out the camp stove, put blankets over doorways and stocked up on water, firewood and candles. No battery-operated lights or candles in those days. We did not miss our electronic devices either since there weren’t any to miss, other than the T.V. and radio. (I am starting to sound really old.)

Maybe we need more nights off the grid

I guess I forgot how much our electronic devices control our brains… until I didn’t have them for 24 hours. It shocked me how restless I was at first. I was anxious and wondering what I was going to do for a whole night. But once the quiet took over and settled into my bones, I felt such peace. I would not recommend coming home from a trip at 2:00 a.m. in a windstorm to find your soul. But maybe we should schedule a no devices day every week. Kind of like a sabbath from electronic devices and social media. Could I do it consistently? Could you?

Being without electricity is a good excuse to stay in bed a little longer and enjoy a slow morning.

Cheers to the retirement years!

Things I Did Not Expect About Aging

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

Years ago, most of us thought through our careers, whether we wanted to raise family, and what we wanted to do in our spare time. However, we gave little thought to our lives after we were old enough to retire. We have all seen the advertisements of gorgeous gray-haired couples smiling at each other and we just assumed that would be us “someday.” Well, someday is here and that advertisement forgot to tell you about the changes you did not expect.

Things I did not expect about an aging body

When we are young, we feel immortal. We never really think about the fact that someday we will get wrinkles laugh lines around our eyes, that our underarms will wiggle like a scoop of grape jelly, or that our fat cells will migrate overnight causing our waistline to vanish. We would roll our eyes as we waited for older people to try and remember the name of the restaurant they ate at last night. Now… we are them.

Aging happens to everyone that is fortunate enough to live that long. It is a natural process. I knew it. I anticipated it. I just didn’t fully expect it to happen to me. I mean I knew I would look older, but in a firm, youthful way. 😊 The media tells you that if you use their “anti-aging” cream, eat a plant-based diet, get the tuck, lift weights and exercise for five hours every day, that you don’t have to look older. Hogwash. It may help, but gravity happens.

The good news is that it matters less. I am not saying we “let ourselves go” and don’t care. If you are still upright, you usually care about your health and how you present yourself to the world. I remember my mom at 85, fussing about her hairstyle. What I am saying is that we care less about the parts of our aging bodies that we can’t control. Instead, we appreciate and care more about how our body functions and carries us through life. I did not expect this.

Things I did not expect about health

We worry about our health more. You take your health for granted when you are young. But as we get older, we recognize that our body is fragile and no one is immune to health issues. We have seen it in friends, family and celebrities. Every new age spot becomes a concern for skin cancer. Every bout of diarrhea causes us to worry about colon cancer. Every sniffle could be pneumonia. Every aching joint, arthritis. Good grief. We could become obsessed with it. And we do.

Have you ever noticed that when a group of older adults get together, every conversation eventually turns to health issues? We share war stories and scars, compare symptoms and debate the best surgeons in the area. There are complaints about the rising cost of supplemental insurances and whether you should include eye and dental. One of the advantages of spending time with our peers is that we can compare notes and learn from each other regarding common health issues. There is comfort in knowing others are experiencing similar things. The problem is when you discuss it… ad nauseum.

The good news is that you appreciate your health more as you age. You recognize that every day is a gift to be lived with joy. There is a deeper awareness of our mortality, which moves us toward a deeper awareness of the beauty of life. I did not expect this.

Things I did not expect about moving at this age

Like most people my age, I have moved several times over my life. Therefore, I expected the physical challenges of packing, hauling boxes and unpacking. I even expected some of the emotional challenge of leaving a place that had so many good memories.

What I did not expect was the confusion of living in a new environment. I can’t decide if this is due to living in one place for so long or because we are much older doing this move. It doesn’t help that we moved into two new homes over the past year. But now it takes me twice as long to do anything because I have to stop and think about where I put it.

I made zucchini bread the other day and I had to open three cupboard doors before I found the grater. I can’t remember which light switch goes to which light. Do they really need to make this many light switches? (But come to think of it, I never really figured that out the light switches in our previous home either.)

But the biggest surprise was that we have to develop new routines. Things that were automatic take thought and a small decision now. Where are we going to sit when we have our morning coffee? Are we going to eat dinner at the table, the kitchen island or in the living room chairs? Where do I set my purse when I walk in the door? These things were automatic in our old home of 24 years, but now they take thinking. I did not expect this.

Things I did not expect about my emotions

No one warned me that I would feel more deeply as I got older. I am a nurse, I raised four kids, and I have experienced enough emotions to last me a lifetime. But maybe those years just left me more raw… more aware of the beautiful, scary, fragile world we live in.

Tears of joy and appreciation can spill out unexpectedly when I look at a beautiful sunset. Tears of sadness surface when I see a complete stranger struggling to walk down the street. I hurt more for the world that our grandkids will one day inherit. I feel this amazing life we lead on a deeper level. I did not expect this.

Things I did not expect about my soul

It takes years of living and soul searching to find your center. If you put in the work of introspection, you will find your soul more at peace. We realize that we can’t control other people, we can’t control the weather, we can’t control most outcomes, so we learn to accept. And with acceptance, comes freedom.

I am still learning to lower my expectations so that I am wonderfully surprised by life. I am trying to open my schedule to allow more precious hours for the things that make my heart sing. Of course I am still a work in progress, but my soul is more centered. I did not expect this.

Aging is the gift I did not expect

Growing older is a privilege that not everyone gets to experience. It is a challenge, but it is also a beautiful ride that I would not want to miss. Aging brings you full circle. Children look at the world with wonder and awe and now, after years of pushing and pulling through life, I do too again. I did not expect this.

“The ride was worth the fall. The fall was worth the smiles. The smiles were worth the tears. Tears were worth the miles. Miles were worth the pain. Pain was worth it all. It’s all worth this life. Life is worth the ride. The ride is worth the fall.”

Lyrics to the song The Fall by Cody Johnson.