Wellness

15 Ways to Invite Serendipity into Your Life

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

Surprising little adventures are waiting to be discovered every day.  Serendipity is a happy, lucky coincidence that is not sought after.  And the wonderful thing is that life is full of serendipity.   However, we miss most of it because we are so busy pushing and pulling through our days, trying to morph and shape our schedules so they resemble the perfect life.  In the meantime, we are missing out on the sweet life.  For it is only in the open, quiet space that you can hear clearly.  You can’t force serendipity.  It happens by a chance discovery.  Even though you cannot plan, organize or schedule serendipity, you can curate a life that invites it in when it quietly knocks on your soul’s door. 

15 ways to invite serendipity into your life

  1. Leave White Space in your day.  Instead of scheduling your calendar until you cannot breathe, leave blank spaces that are openings to adventure and surprise.  
  2. Say “yes.”  Quite thinking of all the reasons that you cannot do something and say “yes” when opportunity presents itself.  You will miss lots of little adventures if you wait until it is convenient.
  3. Be ready.  It reduces your chance of creating excuses.  If you stay up on your routine maintenance, you will be more open and ready when the opportunity knocks. 
  4. Unpack your brain of all the commitments and responsibilities that take up so much valuable real estate there. 
  5. Release your fears: fear of failure, fear of looking like a fool, fear of being wrong, and fear of the unknown.  Let it all go.  
  6. Follow your nose and see where it takes you.  Let the wind lead you instead of your calendar for a change. 
  7. Let your imagination soar.  Imagination allows you to look at things from a unique and colorful perspective.
  8. Say hello.  You never know where a conversation with a stranger will take you.  It could be a friend in waiting or just an interesting conversation that opens up your thinking. 
  9. Take the back roads.  The freeway seldom leads to serendipity.   Ah, but the bumpy backroads lead to the unexpected. 
  10. Leave judgement in the dust of your footsteps – the judgement of others if you do not follow the expected pathway, but also our own judgement.
  11. Be brave and willing to make mistakes.   Perfection is not the path to adventure and surprise.
  12. Curate a creative life.  A creative life fosters serendipity and serendipity ignites your creativity.
  13. Take the less worn path. The one that does not have a safe, predictable outcome.
  14. Stop long enough to feel what is tugging on your soul.  Follow where it leads you, even I it doesn’t seem practical.
  15. Eliminate the word “should” from your vocabulary.  One seldom meets serendipity while wrestling with what they should be doing.   
Happy Valentine’s Day! Remember to be your own best valentine and treat yourself to something special today.

Now that we are retired, we have more open hours in a day. More time to let serendipity in. Yet, I forget. I get so focused on the task at hand, and the task after that one, that I get tunnel vision. With spring just around the corner (O.K. – I might be overly optimistic) I am trying to be more available to the present moment and whatever gift that it provides. Allow myself to be caught up in the moment and where it leads. It is time to invite more serendipity into my life. Be more aware of the simple joy of the unexpected. And what better time than Valentine’s Day to start living the sweet life.

Portal to the Imagination

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

Step away with me into another world. One where you are free to explore and let your imagination soar. A world where you are totally caught up in the moment and experience that carefree feeling of flow. The world is your oyster, and you control it. Walk with me through the portal to imagination.

Growing up in the 60’s was a gift that we baby boomers probably do not appreciate enough. It was a time when we lived without fear. Think the movie “Sandlot.” It was a time when moms would shoo kids out of the house, not to return until there was food on the table. I grew up in the country and my siblings and I were feral children roaming the woods behind our house. By anyone else’s standards, it was just an ordinary woods with a creek running through it. But in our eyes, it was magical. Mostly because of the portal to it.

We were not allowed to cross the road to get to the woods behind our house. That was a hard and fast rule, “or else.” And we all knew what “or else” meant. Well, we never actually tested the “or else” threat, so I guess we weren’t exactly sure what it meant, but we knew it wasn’t good. So, instead of risking our lives crossing the road, we were required to go through an old, abandoned cattle chute that traversed underneath the road. Personally, I felt like I was risking my life more every time I entered the dark, damp, cobweb infested, cattle chute than I ever would have by crossing the road. But, as it was intended, “or else” pushed me to obey the rule.

The cattle chute was our gateway to a world of imagination. I am not sure how it ended up being called the cattle chute, other than it was a tunnel that was built under the road years ago so ranchers could herd their cattle through it instead of going over the road. To us, it was a portal to the imagination.

The portal

The cattle chute was a mysterious, dark foreboding tunnel with a small creek running through it. After braving the entrance, we had to jump across to dry patches of ground to prevent getting our feet wet in the creek, while simultaneously avoiding cobwebs draping down from the low ceiling and watching for trolls. I kept my eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel where magic awaited. It was our portal to a fantasy world that only children inhabited.

Once you were transported through the cattle chute you entered a world of freedom. Freedom from adult judgement or restrictions. Freedom from warnings such as “wash your hands after you touch that mushroom,” “stay out of the creek,” and “don’t get mud on your clothes.” While those words of wisdom were shared for our safety and wrapped in a blanket of love, they also made us more cautious. They would curb our curiosity and sense of reckless abandon.

Once through the portal, we were the kings and queens of the woods. We worked out our differences without adults to referee. We imagined, we created, and we experienced life through play. Play is necessary for healthy brain development. It teaches children to problem solve, develop social skills, build emotional resilience, release stress, and expand creativity. We were left to our own devices in our magical world for several hours a day. And while we felt isolated from adult interference, we were really only a holler away from the reminder that it was time to come home and wash up for dinner.

This is a picture of the cattle chute just before it was filled in. Scary huh?

Safety first

Sadly, the cattle chute was filled in years ago when they widened the road above it. Cattle had not tromped through it for many years, and it was just one more thing that was not considered safe anymore. The fact is that our world is not as safe as it was in the 50’s and 60’s. As a result, children lead much more insulated lives now. And a less safe world necessitates more parental involvement. Parents supervise their children at their friend’s birthday parties for fear that the older sibling or neighbor is a bully or creep. Organized sports have taken the place of the sandlot. And while there are many benefits to more parental involvement, I can’t help but feel a little sad that children of today will not know the experience of entering the portal to roam freely for hours in the woods or play out in the neighborhood until the streetlights come on.

Speaking of unsafe. Is it any wonder that we lived through our childhoods? Aside from all of the unsupervised time, how did we keep from cutting ourselves and bleeding to death from a rusty steel Tonka truck? Or burn ourselves up from the Easy Bake Oven? Even more dangerous was the Creepy Crawler machine. I remember going over to a friend’s house and playing with mercury, dumping it from hand to hand. Interesting stuff that is. We lived through it. Now toys are so safe that they fail to spark the imagination.

Portal to an adult’s imagination

As adults, we need to find our own portal to the imagination. We need to find ways to continue to ignite our curiosity and fuel our creativity. Retirement is the perfect time to do this. Just as play is an important part of childhood, it is also important to our emotional balance as adults. It keeps our minds sharp, decreases stress and fosters a sense of happiness and wellbeing. And playing with others helps us build and maintain social connections that will carry us through life. It helps prevent the dreaded social isolation of aging.

No matter what your age, people that do not engage in play are less interesting and fun to be around. They are typically not as happy either. So, let’s find the portal that leads to the imagination and bravely go through it to enjoy the abundance of a playful life on the other side. Just stay away from the mercury.

Find your portal and take it. See where it leads…

Liv’n On Someday Isle

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

How much of your life have you lived on Someday Isle? Someday Isle is that ambiguous position between how I am living right now and how I want to be living. It is that time of waiting for “something” to happen in order to be happy. We spend so much of our lives waiting for something to change or happen in order to fully appreciate life. Waiting to start school, waiting to be done with school, waiting to leave home for the first time, waiting for the wedding day, waiting to hear back on the job interview, waiting to buy that first home, waiting for the baby to arrive, waiting for the empty nest, waiting to retire. Now what are you waiting for? Maybe it is time to quit living on Someday Isle.

Another boat to Someday Isle is procrastination. It comes in all sorts of forms. Someday I will lose those pesky ten pounds. Someday I will start the exercise class. Someday I will eat healthier. Someday I will put self-care first, or a million other promises we make to ourselves… someday. Today is the someday that we have been waiting for.

When Mr. U’s aunt passed away, we had to clean out the house she lived in since childhood. The upstairs had not been lived in for years and had become a storage area. In it we found unopened tins of Christmas cookies and unopened boxes of chocolates that were now stale. There were beautiful hand embroidered pillowcases. They were all being saved for someday. There were also stacks of styrofoam containers and even bags of cut hair. His aunt lived through the depression, and she kept these items for that elusive someday. Not really sure how the hair was going to be used though???

Many times, when you reach a certain age, there are less “somedays” to look forward to, so we start looking back. We remember, with rose colored glasses, the good ole days. The one perfect touchdown made, the soul stirring first kiss, the award we won, the big deal we landed at work, the abundant feeling of a full nest. As you get older, it is easy to fall into the trap of feeling like the best of life is behind you. Instead of living in the abyss of waiting for someday or remembering the good ole days on replay, why not enjoy the abundance of living in the here and now. As the song by Gabby Barrett says, “cause right here, right now, I say these are the glory days.”

Using some SKI fund money on the cheap. Yeah, we are “fancy like” two buck chuck wine in plastic cups with a gorgeous view.

SKI fund

A couple that was traveling in our area recently told us that they were here using some of their SKI fund for the trip. It was the middle of summer so of course we had to ask what a SKI fund was. It was their acronym for “spending the kid’s inheritance.” Smile.

We have never been freer to do as we please than we are in retirement. Our children are grown and building their own lives, and we get to reap the rewards from that. If we planned our retirement finances well, we are free from a work schedule and financial concerns. Yet, even in the glory days of retirement, it is still too easy to live on Someday Isle, especially if you have been living there most of your life. It can become our normal. It used to be called delayed gratification, which I believe in. However, we have delayed and saved and now is the time to enjoy the benefits of that.

We keep waiting to take the next big trip to Europe because my dad is 97 years old, and I worry about being that far away from him. We are reluctant to buy that condo in the sun because we wonder if we will use it enough to be worth it. And then there is the fact that we really need to downsize… someday. This is what liv’n on Someday Isle looks like in retirement and it is time to get off and start using our SKI fund.

Getting off of Someday Isle

Of course we want to be prudent with our money in retirement. We don’t want to run out of money before we run out of life. And of course we want to leave something to our children when we leave this earth. But we also need to enjoy the here and now. After all, have you ever seen a U-Haul trailer behind a hearse?

We spend our whole life being responsible, doing the right thing, being the good girl, and we forget to live out some of our dreams. The majority of people that are close to death have more regrets about what they didn’t do than what they did do. I don’t want to get to my deathbed and have regrets that I did not live out the things on my someday list, and retirement is the perfect time to do that. All it takes is one good health scare to remind you that THIS is the someday that we have been saving for. It is a beautiful life waiting to be lived. So, let’s take the plunge and swim off of Someday Isle.

Take the first available boat and get off of Someday Isle to live life to the fullest now.

Walking Through Life

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

When you have lived long enough to reach retirement age, you have experienced quite a few ups and downs in life. I remind myself to thoroughly enjoy every up. Drink it in and let it fill my cup to carry me through the darker days. Because, if you have been blessed with bonus years in this life, there will be difficult days too. My personal quote for tough times is, “the only way out is through.” You just have to walk through it and do what you need to do. It isn’t fun or easy, but there will be light ahead. The sun always rises again. I hope that your retirement years are full of many more wonderful days than difficult ones. But when the inevitable challenges arise, it is also helpful to remember this famous quote by Mary Stevenson:

One night in a dream, I walked with the Lord on the beach. There were two footprints, mine and the Lord’s. But during tough times, I just saw mine and I wondered why. I asked the Lord, “why leave me alone when I was down?” The Lord said, “my precious child, I never left you during your times of trial and suffering. When you saw only one set of footprints… it was then that I carried you.”

I try to keep this blog positive and fun. There is enough difficulty and sadness in the world. But I don’t want to gloss over the fact that life can be hard too. As we get older, we often experience more losses than gains. My 97-year-old dad is seeing that. But, as I observe him through this, I have learned a few things. I have learned that you have to roll with the punches. I have learned that some days “the only way out is through,” and I have learned to seek out and appreciate the joy and beauty in life. It is often hidden in the little things. Be kind and gentle with one another, even the person that cut you off on the road. We never know what someone is going through. So, this post is to acknowledge the difficulties and losses that we will all face and to remember that there is still wonder in life too. The sun will rise again and there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Living Our Best Lives

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

I am back from my month long “blogcation.” I really needed to take the month of August to have a reset. It has been a bumpy summer. It started with Mr. U and I both getting COVID. Then there were a lot of projects that I didn’t particularly enjoy or want to do, fulfilling responsibilities, and some health scares. By the of end of July my bike was gathering dust in the garage, I only had my kayak on the water a handful of times, and we still had not unwinterized our camper. Suffice it to say… I was not living my best retirement life. And lingering in the back of my mind was that nagging question… how many more summers do I have left? I can’t afford to miss even one. Do you ever worry about that, or is it just me?

I decided I needed to salvage what little bit of summer I had left. It was time to make a point of living my best life, right now, despite the challenges. My best retirement life is not expensive or glamorous. Aside from some travel, it is pretty simple really. In the summer, my best retirement life is:

  • going out to the garden to pick fresh vegetables and herbs for dinner or a colorful bouquet of flowers to liven up the kitchen counter.
  • a leisurely afternoon kayaking with a friend.
  • a picnic dinner out on the boat watching the eagles soar.
  • taking the four wheelers into the mountains to pick huckleberries.
  • dining al fresco… bonus if it is by the water.
  • that first steaming cup of coffee in the morning when you are camping.
  • late morning bike rides armed with a pack lunch and journal.
  • a lingering afternoon on the water with my family, followed by the smell of the B.B.Q. being fired up.
  • feeling the unfettered joy of being with my grands.
  • laughter gathered around the fire pit.
  • quiet conversations as the sun sets behind the mountain on another summer day.

It was the end of July, and I was starting to feel like a caged animal that had not been outdoors enough – pacing and anxious to feel the sun on my shoulders and the gentle ripple of water under my paddle. So, to kick off taking my summer back, a friend and I loaded up the kayaks and headed to the river for an afternoon on the water. It was just what my soul needed. Towards the end of the afternoon as the sun was getting low, we tucked our kayaks into the reeds away from the waves of passing boats and poured a glass of chilled white wine. A ski boat drifted by and one of the beautiful young ladies waved at us and yelled, “I want to be like you two someday!” And at that moment, I realized, this is it. I am living my best life. I just needed to pull back and carve out some time for it.

Kayaking the Coeur d’Alene River with my beautiful friend (left).

During my “blogcation” I cut down on social media and screen time. I spent mornings with a cup of coffee reflecting. How did I get away from living my best life and how do I make sure that I don’t let the weightier things in life keep me from finding the joy and beauty in every single day? How do I peacefully blend the responsibilities of life with enough time and energy for play? I had to rethink my priorities and what I wanted my life to look like. And while the blog break was nice, I also missed writing.

I pondered how/if writing my blog fit into my best life. What I noticed was that when I did not blog, I spent a lot more time writing in my journal. I guess some people just need to spill their thoughts on to a page. I concluded that writing and taking photos for this blog are part of my best retirement life right now. The challenge was the commitment to post every Monday. I have tried to stay consistent with that, because that is what the social media gurus tell you to do. However, the intent of this blog was never to make me rich or famous, so what do I care about blog rules? Heck, I can post when the muse hits and not post when I am having a super busy week. The shake down is that you may find my blog posts a little less consistent. They may be less or even more than once a week and they may not always show up on Mondays. They may include short blurbs or long rants. I hope that you will stick with me through it and if you want to be notified via email when a post comes out, please sign up for my newsletter.

How peculiar that, even in retirement, we can get so bogged down with the worries and responsibilities of life, that we forget to live our best life. As the old saying goes, “if not now, when?” What does your best life look like and are you making the time and effort to live it, or are you just drifting by?

Sunsets are a vital part of my best life.