Wellness

Liv’n On Someday Isle

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

How much of your life have you lived on Someday Isle? Someday Isle is that ambiguous position between how I am living right now and how I want to be living. It is that time of waiting for “something” to happen in order to be happy. We spend so much of our lives waiting for something to change or happen in order to fully appreciate life. Waiting to start school, waiting to be done with school, waiting to leave home for the first time, waiting for the wedding day, waiting to hear back on the job interview, waiting to buy that first home, waiting for the baby to arrive, waiting for the empty nest, waiting to retire. Now what are you waiting for? Maybe it is time to quit living on Someday Isle.

Another boat to Someday Isle is procrastination. It comes in all sorts of forms. Someday I will lose those pesky ten pounds. Someday I will start the exercise class. Someday I will eat healthier. Someday I will put self-care first, or a million other promises we make to ourselves… someday. Today is the someday that we have been waiting for.

When Mr. U’s aunt passed away, we had to clean out the house she lived in since childhood. The upstairs had not been lived in for years and had become a storage area. In it we found unopened tins of Christmas cookies and unopened boxes of chocolates that were now stale. There were beautiful hand embroidered pillowcases. They were all being saved for someday. There were also stacks of styrofoam containers and even bags of cut hair. His aunt lived through the depression, and she kept these items for that elusive someday. Not really sure how the hair was going to be used though???

Many times, when you reach a certain age, there are less “somedays” to look forward to, so we start looking back. We remember, with rose colored glasses, the good ole days. The one perfect touchdown made, the soul stirring first kiss, the award we won, the big deal we landed at work, the abundant feeling of a full nest. As you get older, it is easy to fall into the trap of feeling like the best of life is behind you. Instead of living in the abyss of waiting for someday or remembering the good ole days on replay, why not enjoy the abundance of living in the here and now. As the song by Gabby Barrett says, “cause right here, right now, I say these are the glory days.”

Using some SKI fund money on the cheap. Yeah, we are “fancy like” two buck chuck wine in plastic cups with a gorgeous view.

SKI fund

A couple that was traveling in our area recently told us that they were here using some of their SKI fund for the trip. It was the middle of summer so of course we had to ask what a SKI fund was. It was their acronym for “spending the kid’s inheritance.” Smile.

We have never been freer to do as we please than we are in retirement. Our children are grown and building their own lives, and we get to reap the rewards from that. If we planned our retirement finances well, we are free from a work schedule and financial concerns. Yet, even in the glory days of retirement, it is still too easy to live on Someday Isle, especially if you have been living there most of your life. It can become our normal. It used to be called delayed gratification, which I believe in. However, we have delayed and saved and now is the time to enjoy the benefits of that.

We keep waiting to take the next big trip to Europe because my dad is 97 years old, and I worry about being that far away from him. We are reluctant to buy that condo in the sun because we wonder if we will use it enough to be worth it. And then there is the fact that we really need to downsize… someday. This is what liv’n on Someday Isle looks like in retirement and it is time to get off and start using our SKI fund.

Getting off of Someday Isle

Of course we want to be prudent with our money in retirement. We don’t want to run out of money before we run out of life. And of course we want to leave something to our children when we leave this earth. But we also need to enjoy the here and now. After all, have you ever seen a U-Haul trailer behind a hearse?

We spend our whole life being responsible, doing the right thing, being the good girl, and we forget to live out some of our dreams. The majority of people that are close to death have more regrets about what they didn’t do than what they did do. I don’t want to get to my deathbed and have regrets that I did not live out the things on my someday list, and retirement is the perfect time to do that. All it takes is one good health scare to remind you that THIS is the someday that we have been saving for. It is a beautiful life waiting to be lived. So, let’s take the plunge and swim off of Someday Isle.

Take the first available boat and get off of Someday Isle to live life to the fullest now.

Walking Through Life

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

When you have lived long enough to reach retirement age, you have experienced quite a few ups and downs in life. I remind myself to thoroughly enjoy every up. Drink it in and let it fill my cup to carry me through the darker days. Because, if you have been blessed with bonus years in this life, there will be difficult days too. My personal quote for tough times is, “the only way out is through.” You just have to walk through it and do what you need to do. It isn’t fun or easy, but there will be light ahead. The sun always rises again. I hope that your retirement years are full of many more wonderful days than difficult ones. But when the inevitable challenges arise, it is also helpful to remember this famous quote by Mary Stevenson:

One night in a dream, I walked with the Lord on the beach. There were two footprints, mine and the Lord’s. But during tough times, I just saw mine and I wondered why. I asked the Lord, “why leave me alone when I was down?” The Lord said, “my precious child, I never left you during your times of trial and suffering. When you saw only one set of footprints… it was then that I carried you.”

I try to keep this blog positive and fun. There is enough difficulty and sadness in the world. But I don’t want to gloss over the fact that life can be hard too. As we get older, we often experience more losses than gains. My 97-year-old dad is seeing that. But, as I observe him through this, I have learned a few things. I have learned that you have to roll with the punches. I have learned that some days “the only way out is through,” and I have learned to seek out and appreciate the joy and beauty in life. It is often hidden in the little things. Be kind and gentle with one another, even the person that cut you off on the road. We never know what someone is going through. So, this post is to acknowledge the difficulties and losses that we will all face and to remember that there is still wonder in life too. The sun will rise again and there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Living Our Best Lives

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

I am back from my month long “blogcation.” I really needed to take the month of August to have a reset. It has been a bumpy summer. It started with Mr. U and I both getting COVID. Then there were a lot of projects that I didn’t particularly enjoy or want to do, fulfilling responsibilities, and some health scares. By the of end of July my bike was gathering dust in the garage, I only had my kayak on the water a handful of times, and we still had not unwinterized our camper. Suffice it to say… I was not living my best retirement life. And lingering in the back of my mind was that nagging question… how many more summers do I have left? I can’t afford to miss even one. Do you ever worry about that, or is it just me?

I decided I needed to salvage what little bit of summer I had left. It was time to make a point of living my best life, right now, despite the challenges. My best retirement life is not expensive or glamorous. Aside from some travel, it is pretty simple really. In the summer, my best retirement life is:

  • going out to the garden to pick fresh vegetables and herbs for dinner or a colorful bouquet of flowers to liven up the kitchen counter.
  • a leisurely afternoon kayaking with a friend.
  • a picnic dinner out on the boat watching the eagles soar.
  • taking the four wheelers into the mountains to pick huckleberries.
  • dining al fresco… bonus if it is by the water.
  • that first steaming cup of coffee in the morning when you are camping.
  • late morning bike rides armed with a pack lunch and journal.
  • a lingering afternoon on the water with my family, followed by the smell of the B.B.Q. being fired up.
  • feeling the unfettered joy of being with my grands.
  • laughter gathered around the fire pit.
  • quiet conversations as the sun sets behind the mountain on another summer day.

It was the end of July, and I was starting to feel like a caged animal that had not been outdoors enough – pacing and anxious to feel the sun on my shoulders and the gentle ripple of water under my paddle. So, to kick off taking my summer back, a friend and I loaded up the kayaks and headed to the river for an afternoon on the water. It was just what my soul needed. Towards the end of the afternoon as the sun was getting low, we tucked our kayaks into the reeds away from the waves of passing boats and poured a glass of chilled white wine. A ski boat drifted by and one of the beautiful young ladies waved at us and yelled, “I want to be like you two someday!” And at that moment, I realized, this is it. I am living my best life. I just needed to pull back and carve out some time for it.

Kayaking the Coeur d’Alene River with my beautiful friend (left).

During my “blogcation” I cut down on social media and screen time. I spent mornings with a cup of coffee reflecting. How did I get away from living my best life and how do I make sure that I don’t let the weightier things in life keep me from finding the joy and beauty in every single day? How do I peacefully blend the responsibilities of life with enough time and energy for play? I had to rethink my priorities and what I wanted my life to look like. And while the blog break was nice, I also missed writing.

I pondered how/if writing my blog fit into my best life. What I noticed was that when I did not blog, I spent a lot more time writing in my journal. I guess some people just need to spill their thoughts on to a page. I concluded that writing and taking photos for this blog are part of my best retirement life right now. The challenge was the commitment to post every Monday. I have tried to stay consistent with that, because that is what the social media gurus tell you to do. However, the intent of this blog was never to make me rich or famous, so what do I care about blog rules? Heck, I can post when the muse hits and not post when I am having a super busy week. The shake down is that you may find my blog posts a little less consistent. They may be less or even more than once a week and they may not always show up on Mondays. They may include short blurbs or long rants. I hope that you will stick with me through it and if you want to be notified via email when a post comes out, please sign up for my newsletter.

How peculiar that, even in retirement, we can get so bogged down with the worries and responsibilities of life, that we forget to live our best life. As the old saying goes, “if not now, when?” What does your best life look like and are you making the time and effort to live it, or are you just drifting by?

Sunsets are a vital part of my best life.

Is Aging a Problem to be Solved?

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

As I get older, I am seeing more silver hairs, wrinkles around my eyes and age spots on my hands. The marks of living a full life. The evidence of making it to the age of 64. I am so grateful to be healthy. To be living these years with zest and vitality. Yet everywhere I turn there are recommendations for products and procedures to fight looking, heaven forbid… older. Like it is a disease we have to combat. What is wrong with looking our age and why do I feel pushed by social media and advertising to try and fight it? It gives me the impression that aging is a problem that we should try to fix or solve.

When I started thinking about this anti-aging attitude that society has, I noticed it showing up everywhere. It is even prevalent in my little city tucked up in the Pacific Northwest. The feature photo, as well as the two below, are just a few of the anti-aging advertisements I have seen locally in the last couple of weeks. Clearly, we are being bombarded with the attitude that looking older needs to be avoided and fixed.

This advertisement was in our small city newspaper.
I won’t be doing the top three options, but I could definitely go for the massage.

When people try too hard to look younger, it comes off as unnatural. In some ways, it draws attention to their age. I like Reba McEntire but every time I see her on TV, I think how stretched her face looks and how hard she is trying to look youthful again. I get it when you work in the entertainment industry because that is what sells. But what if society changed that image? What if Reba and all of the other over 50+ actresses and singers looked their true age? Would that make a statement to the world that it is lovely to age gracefully? What if it was O.K. to look our age? What if age was seen as beautiful? It is all in how society views it.

Doing our part to change society’s attitude

Don’t use anti-aging terminology. I doubt that we will ever change our society’s negative view of aging, but I can do things in my little corner of the world to not perpetuate the problem. For example, I appreciate the compliment, when someone says I look younger than my age. But why? Why do I feel like that is a compliment? So, going forward, when I see an older person that looks healthy and vibrant, I am going to make the effort to tell them that they look great. And not tag on “for your age,” which really is a back handed compliment.

Share our age proudly. In response to a reporter who told Gloria Steinem (age 40 at the time) that she looked good, she responded, “this is what 40 looks like.” Ten years later, she used the same response with, “this is what 50 looks like.” Many people, particularly older women, avoid telling people their age. We don’t want others to shove us in a corner of their brain that is labeled, “old.” But if we don’t proudly share our age, how will younger people know what aging really looks like and that it is O.K. Even normal. We should be proud to say what age we have made it to. As I get older, I am getting crow’s feet, silver in my hair and age spots. So what? I am also wiser, happier and freer than I have ever been. To borrow Gloria Steinem’s response, this is what 64 looks like.

This is what 64 looks like.

Let our bodies age naturally. One of the most obvious changes that comes with age are those grey hairs that start showing up. I still don’t know why men with grey hair are considered distinguished and women with grey are considered fuddy duddy. There are women out there trying to change that perception. During COVID many women quit coloring their hair and let their gorgeous, natural grey grow out. There is even a movement of women called the “Silver Sisters” that embraces aging naturally. These women describe a sense of freedom and peace. They felt like they were hiding part of themselves from the world when they covered their grey, and now they are able to be honest. Margaret Osler shares about the wonderful sense of freedom she felt when she let her gorgeous grey curls grow out. She is loving and enjoying life and looks vibrant and happy. We need more examples like her in our anti-aging world.

“Imagine a world where we all looked forward to, valued & celebrated the beauty of natural aging.”

Margaret @aging_is_amazing

I don’t have anything against people that choose Botox, plastic surgery and age defying alternatives. It is wonderful to have options and if it makes someone feel better about themselves, then go for it. We each need to do what makes us feel whole and happy. However, I am just saddened by a world that causes us to feel better about ourselves when we look younger. I have decided that I don’t want to spend my precious time, energy and money on trying to look younger. I don’t want to sit in a physician’s office chair unless I have to. I would rather be spending my time and money doing something I love. Something that vitalizes me. Something that puts a smile on my face and fills my heart with joy. Maybe that is the real secret to looking younger.

My anti aging beautifully formula

Instead of spending my time and money on anti-aging treatments and procedures, I would like to propose a new formula for anti-aging. However, since we are going to avoid the term anti-aging, lets’ call it a formula for aging beautifully. Matter of fact, we need to get rid of the term “anti-aging” entirely. Here is my formula for aging beautifully:

  • Get outdoors to get some vitamin D. It will make your skin glow.
  • Do some physical activity every day. It will get your blood and lymph fluids moving throughout your body.
  • Keep your weight under control. We will have more energy if we are not carrying around an extra 25 pounds. Likewise, if you are limiting your calories and carbs too much, you won’t have enough energy.
  • Laugh and smile more. Personally, I think that laugh lines are beautiful.
  • Love with an open heart. It will show on your face.
  • Give back to others. The satisfaction will give you peace and that will decrease those frown lines.
  • Do what makes your heart sing. Happiness looks good on you.
  • Surround yourself with things you love. More flowers anyone? It will bring joy to your life.
  • Drink more water. A cosmetologist once told me that this is the single best thing you can do for your skin. It fills your skin out naturally.
  • Have a heart of gratitude. Trust me, it will show on your face.
  • And of course… eat your fruits and vegetables. It will give you the vitamins and minerals that you need to look healthy and glowing.

“There is an elegance in ageing that transcends physical beauty. It’s in the way we carry ourselves with confidence, the depth of our compassion, and the strength of our spirit. It’s in the serene acceptance of who we are and the profound understanding of what truly matters.”

Gail McNeill @fiftysister

I want to look my very best for my age. Who doesn’t? I am not promoting “letting yourself go” as you age. I love a wonderful fragrant facial lotion, make-up, fun cloths and accessories. I am committed to using glycolic acid on my face a couple of times a week. But this is my one and only precious life and I don’t want to waste a lot of it trying to look younger than I am. I don’t have enough time as it is for all of the fun things I want to do. I am too happy and busy living and loving my life to spend my time, energy and money on expensive, time consuming anti-aging products and procedures.

Maybe that is the true secret to aging gracefully… to quite fighting the aging process and allow it. It should not be something to fear, pull or stretch our bodies to avoid. Allow the beauty of age to shine through in our eyes, our attitude and our confidence. Instead of aging being a problem to be solved, it should be considered a gift to be embraced.

Living Closer to the Bone

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

A weekend at summer camp? Heck yea! Years ago, when I was in nursing school, we had to do a pediatric rotation. One of the options for that rotation was to spend a weekend at a summer camp for children with special needs. Sounded like a pretty easy way to get some clinical hours to me. So, one sunny summer morning, armed with our heavy pediatric textbooks, pens, note pads and student nurse name tags, several of us headed up into the hills above Portland, Oregon for a weekend at camp.

We were assigned to work with the camp nurse. I pictured a rough looking, heavyset, grouchy old Nurse Ratched. Instead, we were met by a willowy, gentle, self-possessed, bohemian woman. Her office was in one of the small log cabins where she was staying for the summer. It was filled with plants, herbal teas and tinctures. She was real, raw, organic and living closer to the bone. We were quite sure she was the first medicine woman… and we adored her.

Organic: “Relating to or derived from living matter…denoting compounds containing carbon… a relation between elements of something such that they fit together harmoniously.”

Oxford Languages

Another course I was required to take in college was “Chemical Compounds.” The one thing I walked away with from that course, other than a lousy C+, was that every living thing contains carbon in some form. So, it is no wonder that being out in nature, walking among living, growing things, is good for us. It is living closer to the bone, and it is healing. The same goes for the foods we put into our body. All real food (aka – food that grew from the ground) contains carbon and those are the foods that our bodies need in order to feel good, be strong, heal and build healthy bones. The very framework of our bodies.

How did we step so far away from the bone?

Over time, technology and modern conveniences have pushed us farther and farther away from living a real life… closer to the bone. Whereas daily activity and being outdoors, cooking healthy meals with fresh food and spending time nurturing our connection with friends and family used to be a natural part of daily life, now we have to intentionally include it. We have slowly decreased or even extracted these things from our lives and now we are desperately trying to find ways to replace them. The problem is that the replacements end up being much less satisfying and healthy than the real deal. Let’s take a closer look at these.

Real movement.

Technology has made it much easier to be sedentary. We can experience the world through the click of our computer keys, and we don’t even have to walk out the door. When we do go out, we jump directly into the car. We circle the parking lot searching for the closest parking space, then we turn around and buy an expensive piece of work-out equipment to get more exercise. Has anyone besides us dished out money for an overpriced treadmill that was used a few months and then morphed into a dust catching clothes hanger?

In several countries, such as Italy, movement is a natural part of their day. They walk and ride bikes to get places. They don’t pigeonhole movement into a 30-minute workout. We have done everything we can to decrease movement in our lives and then we turn around and pay for a gym membership to bring it back. I don’t have anything against a gym membership. It is an excellent way to get exercise if you are committed to it. However, nature’s gym provides more overall benefits to our physical and mental health. Being outside also helps reduce stress, elevates your mood and provides an overall sense of well-being. Cleaning and gardening result in bending and stretching with the added benefit of accomplishing something constructive.

“Exercise within the green spaces and the great outdoors may be a useful natural medicine.”

Environmental Science & Technology

Real food.

We live in a country where we are constantly searching out, and paying out, for the latest and greatest vitamins, probiotics, collagen supplements, protein powders, and anti-aging supplements. Other countries, like those in the Blue Zones, rely on eating a well-rounded, fresh diet to get their nutrients. They get their supplements naturally in the foods they eat. They don’t waste money and energy seeking out the latest product to supplement a diet lacking in them.

We take all of the vitamins and minerals out of foods through processing them and then we try to replace them by taking a pill. Does anyone else see the irony in that? I remember being mesmerized by the futuristic cartoon, The Jetsons, as a kid. I distinctly recall one episode where, instead of having a meal, they just took a pill. Are we headed in that direction? Instead, let’s eat more carbon!

Real connection.

We have all seen families or couples at a restaurant that are glued to their phones, ignoring the very people that they came to share time with. As a society, we are sorely lacking in meaningful relationships. We are more connected than ever before in history, but less emotionally satisfied. Social media has made superficial connections easier and safer. We don’t have to let people see past the facade that we choose to share. But sharing our innermost fears and failures is necessary to release them. Otherwise, we get all clogged up.

The camp nurse had a heart for the kids with disabilities. Her gentle manner calmed even the most severe autistic children. She took the time and effort to connect with them in a very genuine way. She established a relationship of trust with them. It takes time and effort to develop and nurture relationships with people you can trust and be your real self with. But this is the stuff that connections are made of. And this, is what we are sadly lacking enough of in a world of superficial friends and a reliance on social media to compensate.

“Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

The Velveteen Rabbit

Conclusion

I love a lazy morning sipping coffee and scrolling through Pinterest, reading my favorite blogs or getting ideas from some fabulous IG content creators. But I can easily fall down the rabbit hole and before I know it, three hours have passed and the only movement I got was to refill my coffee. Perhaps we need to take a step back and determine how progress has benefitted us and how it has harmed us. We have gotten off balance and we need to take action to mitigate the damage. Perhaps it is time we seek out a real, more authentic lifestyle where we are living closer to the bone. Closer to the very marrow that gives life to our body.