Finding Balance

Posted on October 3, 2025October 3, 2025 by The Retired Alchemist

As we prepared to move, I boxed up my 40+ years’ worth of journals. My therapy on paper. I did not read them all… I am saving that for when I am old. 😊 But I did glance through some of them and saw a common theme my entire adult life. It wasn’t the typical goals and self-improvement stuff, although that was consistent too. It was… balance.

As a young adult in her 20’s, I looked at life through rose colored glasses. I wanted it all. And society told us that we could have it all. Any of you boomers remember the commercial with the ditty, “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan…” This Enjoli perfume commercial only talked about the roles of women in relationship to others. There was no mention of time for yourself. This is the era we boomers were raised in.

I finally organized my journals in totes for the move.

I am sure that many of you can relate to the crazy busy years of raising a family and working at a career. I loved those years and yet, somewhere under the piles of laundry, meal preparation, housecleaning, carpools, homework supervision, party planning and being the chief organizer of the family, I neglected myself. Is that any wonder? Raising a family and trying to maintain a career is an act of balance just to keep all of the balls in the air. There is precious little time for self-care. But by golly, we can “bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan…”

Finding balance in retirement

I was talking with a friend the other day. We are both in a similar age and stage of life. She is watching her grandchild during the week. Childcare is expensive and she wants to help her own child get ahead in life. Besides, she loves this precious time to create close bonds with her granddaughter. I think there are many of us boomers that are still nurturing others: elderly parents, grandchildren, spouses, etc.

As women, nurturing (and guilt) seems to be in our DNA. These are people we love and would give up our very lives for. But when we spend too many hours nurturing others, we don’t have anything left for ourselves. We are also giving up some of our hard-earned freedom that retirement promised. Even at this stage in life, we have to find a balance between nurturing others and nurturing ourselves and our dreams.

“Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance how much of ourselves we give away.”

Barbara De Angelis

There are no easy answers on how to achieve the elusive life balance. It is obviously a moving target as life circumstances change. It is certainly easier once you are retired. But if we don’t prioritize time to do what refreshes us, then we lose ourselves, even in retirement. We have less stamina and energy as we get older, so we can’t do it all as easily as when we were younger. Anyone else look back at your younger years and wonder how you did it all?

Take time to do what brings peace and balance back to your life.

Tips on achieving the elusive balanced life

I am certainly not an expert on achieving life balance, but I have learned a few things along the way that have helped.

Take time to get to know yourself. Not who you think you are, or who others want you to be, but who you are at your core. What makes you feel alive? Then, make sure you carve out time for that.
Talk. Talk. Talk. Talk to your spouse. Talk to friends that are in a similar life phase. There is companionship, comfort and wisdom waiting to be unpacked with someone who “gets it.”
Write down your life goals and dreams. Yes, even if you are retired. What are the non-negotiables that you are not willing to let go of? What are the very things that, when you get to the end of your life, you will regret that you did not do? If travel is important to you, plan your next trip now.
Don’t neglect yourself in the process. In whatever phase of life you are in, take time to refresh your mind and soul, however that looks to you. Yes, you will feel guilt. Do it anyway.

My granddaughter keeping her balance at the beach.

Being “busy” is a badge of honor in our society. It says we are valued and important. I think retirees particularly feel pressure to stay busy. Not, heaven forbid, boring. So, we engage in activities and caregiving and any other thing to fill the void of work. We often think of life balance as a challenge only during our career years. However, it is a common thread that I am hearing among retirees as well. Particularly women, who typically take on the bulk of managing the home and nurturing others. Often to the point that we neglect ourselves. As we get to the later third of our lives, we realize that we have less years ahead and we need to shape them intentionally. Otherwise, they slip away, and we have not lived our lives. Our lives have lived us.

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”

Anne Lamott

Cheers to the retirement years!

Free Summer Entertainment

Posted on July 10, 2025July 12, 2025 by The Retired Alchemist

Nature has a plethora of beautiful, free entertainment, just waiting to be explored. With the onset of warmer weather, people start crawling out of their dark houses, ready for some sunshine and time outside. Fortunately, both of these are free. There are so many opportunities to enjoy summer with no cost involved. Bonus that all of these options are also good for your physical and/or mental health. Healthy, free entertainment – who could ask for more than that?

Free summer entertainment

Foraging. One of the most satisfying summer activities is to go foraging out in the wild. Think blackberries, huckleberries and mushrooms. It just takes a little research and a small bucket and off you go. When our boys were little, we would trek to an old, abandoned orchard and pick plums and apples. Now we enjoy heading into the woods to forage for huckleberries. Hucks, as we call them, are a small tart berry that pairs great with a little sugar. Matter of fact, we were having company over for a B.B.Q. this week, so I made a berry cream pie with last year’s frozen huckleberries. I got this recipe from a dear friend over 30 years ago and have made it numerous times. It is fool proof. (See pictures below for the recipe.) I have made it with raspberries, and it was equally delicious.

As you can see, I have used this recipe a lot over the years.

The library. If you haven’t already, go get your library card… for free! The library is a wealth of interesting and entertaining information. You can download the Libby App, also for free. The app allows you to order and download books to your e-reader from your local library. I have had my Kindle for years and use it almost every day. If you are not a reader, you can also get audio books to listen to. Again, no charge.

Walking. Walking is a great option almost all year long, but it is particularly beautiful in the summer months. Take a walk on a nature path or walk around town observing life in the city. Either way, you are getting steps and lifting your spirits. If you prefer, listen to that free audiobook from the library while you take in the sights.

Music. Most cities have free concerts in parks throughout the summer months. Thursday nights seem to be the most popular evening for these concerts in our area. Pack up your own picnic dinner, water bottle and lawn chairs and go enjoy some uplifting live music. Some venues offer adult beverages if you want to dish out a little cash for them. Then sit back and let the music and fresh air sink into you. Or better yet, get up and dance a little.

Nu Jack City was an excellent band with free admission at a city park.

Beaches. Sitting at the beach, sunshine on your shoulders, mesmerized by the waves lapping up on shore is great therapy. Take a thermos of iced tea and a book or just people watch. When it gets too warm, you can take a refreshing dip in the water. Don’t worry, there is no charge.

Hiking. Look into hiking paths in your area. You may be surprised how many are close by. Tubbs Hill is a natural park that borders our city. It has beautiful hiking paths with views of the lake along the way. You may have to drive a little further to get to some hiking paths. Pack up a lunch, grab a friend and hit the trails. The beauty and exercise are natural antidepressants.

Farmer’s Markets. Farmer’s markets abound in the summer months everywhere. They are a feast for the senses. You get to see colorful produce piled up, take in the aroma of fresh bread and paella simmering, while listening to live music. While you do not have to spend a penny to go, you may want to bring a little cash to support your local farmers and get a taste of some wonderful food. Our area has Farmers’ Markets on Wednesday evenings and Saturdays.

Farmer’s markets are a feast for the senses.

History & the arts. For those of you that are history buffs, there are so many historical sites and museums to see. Or keep an eye out for free art shows. Our city has a Friday Art Walk on the 2nd Friday of every month. You can stroll down main street in the early evening and stop in at the various shops to see local artist’s work. The first weekend in August there is a large street fair called, Art on the Green. It draws artists from all over the PNW that showcase their work. Of course, there are food trucks and live music too. It is big enough that you get in a good walk while enjoying the artist’s creations.

Hours of free entertainment after an initial investment

Some things require an initial investment but then you get hours and hours of free entertainment from them. If it is something you know you will use, and it will not sit in the garage to gather dust, then it is money very well spent. If you take the time to look around enough, you can purchase most summer toys on sale or used and keep the initial cost fairly low. For me, two of those have been my kayak and bike. My kayak was a gift, although it was from Mr. U, so it came from the same coffers. I think he got it for me just because he got tired of hearing me talk about wanting to buy one. Who says nagging doesn’t work?

Biking. I rode my old bike frequently after work before I retired, so, I was sure that I would use it a lot once I quit the nine-to-five rat race. Therefore, I bought a brand new one as a retirement gift to myself. One of my favorite places to ride is along the Trail of the Coeur d’Alenes. It is a 73-mile flat trail that was paved over an old railroad. And one of the best parts is that there are a few watering holes along the way.

Beautiful ride along the Trail of the Coeur d’Alenes.

Gardening. You can’t beat walking out your back door and harvesting fruit, vegetables or flowers from your garden. There is a small initial cost of buying the seeds and then the labor of planting, watering and weeding them, but it is well worth it when you pick that first strawberry of the season. Or better yet, if you are like me, you have a spouse that enjoys gardenwork. If you do not have the space or interest to grow a garden, try being a potager or find you-picks in your area. It is an inexpensive way to reap the harvest without having to put on a single garden glove.

Kayaking. River rafting and kayaking are popular summer activities where we live. Not the big white-water kind, although people do that too. But more the slow, beer in hand, kind of rafting or the stop and sip of glass of white wine kind of kayaking. It is safer to go with at least one other person. Besides, it is more fun that way.

Perfect calm, reflective water for kayaking,

Fishing. You don’t have to buy expensive equipment or a boat to enjoy this hobby. Just throw a pole in the water and then sit back and relax. There are several old “codgers” that gather to fish at a specific area on our small lake. Personally, I think they do more talking than fishing, but hey, connecting with others is part of the health benefit. They spend so much time there that they staked it out with a sign on a tree.

Lots of old fish stories told at this place.

The biggest hurdle

Sometimes the biggest hurdle to getting out and enjoying summer’s free bounty is our own lack of motivation. It takes a little effort. We retire and settle into our favorite recliner and then we don’t want to get out. After all, we reason, we worked our whole lives and so we deserve to rest. However, too much rest will lead to rust and even depression. Joints get stiff and our brains are under stimulated. Summer removes a lot of the excuses, such as it is too cold or rainy. It is the perfect season to get outside. And no excuses that you don’t want to spend the money, because so much summer entertainment is free.

I am sure there are tons of other ways to enjoy summer on the cheap. The possibilities are endless, particularly if you want to get out and be in nature. Think about camping, roller blading, going to the park with the grands for a picnic, or even just laying on your back in the cool grass and watching the clouds roll by. Just turn off the T.V. and boost yourself out of that comfy chair. Let’s take advantage of these beautiful sunny days and get out to enjoy life… for free!

Cheers to the retirement years!

Gased or Not Gased?

Posted on June 27, 2025June 27, 2025 by The Retired Alchemist

Gased or not gased? That is the question you will get asked when you order a water in Europe. Initially we had no idea what that meant. We quickly learned that they were asking, do you want your water carbonated or not. Their water is typically served at room temperature without any ice. No wonder they drink so much wine.

Since summer has officially started, it is a good time to think about upping our water intake. Dehydration is the root cause of so many health issues. Think heat stroke, kidney stones and low blood pressure. As a nurse, I have started countless I.V.’s. It is often the first thing you do when a patient enters the emergency room. Not only do you need a line to give medications quickly, but you usually need to hydrate a person. There are a few exceptions when you don’t want fluid overload, such as kidney disease or heart failure, but the typical person is under hydrated.

Lemon and cucumber water is a refreshing drink on a hot summer day.

Aside from health issues, there are many other benefits to drinking enough water. Our bodies are composed of approximately 60% water, so we need to keep it replenished. On top of that, it becomes harder for our body to hold onto water as we age. Water helps remove toxins from our bodies and prevents constipation. It lubricates the joints and helps regulate body temperature. Think of it as the oil that keeps your body running smoothly. Drinking plenty of water prevents dry skin and makes you look younger. An esthetician once told me that staying adequately hydrated was the key to keeping your skin looking healthy and supple.

Now grocery shelves are filled with a variety of flavors of ~~gased~~ sparkling water. They claim to have no additives, but their ingredient list states they are “naturally essenced.” I wonder what that means??? While I like the sparkling water served in cans, I would prefer making my own flavored non-gased water. It is fresh with a light taste, I know exactly what goes into it, it does not contribute to the landfills, and it is virtually free. No additives, preservatives, or calories. And the flavor options are endless. If you are using herbs, be sure to squish them up a little to release the oils before adding them. I bought a glass carafe with a lid to use as my flavored water container. Some of my favorite combinations are:

lemon and cucumber
strawberry and lime
mint and cucumber
watermelon and strawberry
lime and mint

Strawberry, watermelon with a few basil leaves. A new experiment.

There are countless combinations. I think orange and mint would be fun to try. Maybe apple slices and cinnamon sticks in the fall? The best part is that you can just step out into your garden and gather some herbs and a cucumber or fruit and add it to your water jar. Experiment a little bit. I have not found a combination that wasn’t delicious and refreshing. Unfortunately, we cannot grow citrus trees in our neck of the woods, but cucumbers and strawberries are abundant in season. And you can grow herbs in pots almost anywhere. I use leaves from my mint plants a lot but if you grow your own mint, be sure to keep it in a planter. I planted some in the ground years ago and it spreads like crazy.

Love the abundance of mint but it can grow out of control.

Have you ever arrived at a hotel or restaurant on a hot day and they have a large glass container of water with fruit and ice floating in it? It always puts a smile on my face as I beeline for it. And it is such a welcome, easy addition to do. So, make yourself a carafe of flavored water and go ahead outside and enjoy the sunshine. You will be delighted when you come back in thirsty and find it sitting in your frig.

Have a great, well hydrated summer!

Vintage People

Posted on May 23, 2025May 23, 2025 by The Retired Alchemist

The Oxford Dictionary describes vintage as “denoting something of high quality, especially something from the past…” It is often associated with a good quality wine that just gets better with age. Vintage items are often valued for their unique style and individuality. The good news is that, like a vintage item, people often get better with age too. Both vintage items and vintage people get a faded patina over time that draws you to them.

What happens with time that causes this change? The bumps and bruises of life slowly smooth down our sharp, rough edges. We no longer feel the need to judge others, or ourselves. Because, well… why? We often allow ourselves to become the person we were always meant to be. The person that could not fully emerge in our younger years because we were too busy, too driven, too worried about other people’s opinions. We were trying so hard to be successful, to be the perfect mom, brother, friend, employee, or daughter, that we lost ourselves in the process.

In our younger years, we weren’t ripe yet. Like The Velveteen Rabbit, it takes time to become real. It takes years of living to wear down our rough edges and create us into the person who holds life with a gentle hand, acutely aware of how fragile it is. We recognize that our time here on earth is fleeting, and we need to squeeze every bit of joy out of it. Take the trip, savor the meal, listen intently to others, pay the sincere compliment, stop and watch the sunset, take the risk, live well. Now is the perfect time to fully bloom into ourselves because, like a good wine, vintage people just get better at living as they age.

“Aging is not for the weak. One day you wake up and realize that your youth is gone, but along with it, so go insecurity, haste, and the need to please… You learn to walk more slowly, but with greater certainty. You say goodbye without fear, and you cherish those who stay. Aging means letting go, it means accepting, it means discovering that beauty was never in our skin… but in the story we carry inside us.”

Meryl Streep

Things that get better with age

Aside from vintage people, many other things just get better with age. Some that come to mind are:

An old tome that you have outlined and marked up over the years. One that you go back to over and over again for strength and inspiration. “Gift from the Sea” by Anne Morrow Lindbergh is one of these for me.
A huge weeping willow tree that branches out providing shade and mystery. Bonus if children have built a fort in it.
A well used, cookbook. One where you can find the best recipes easily because the worn pages are stained and dog eared.

A well-seasoned cast iron skillet that has cooked up hearty family meals over the years.
A pair of favorite slippers that are worn in all of the right places. Slipping into them slows your racing heart.
A vintage car that has been well maintained and cared for. The value just goes up with time.
A long standing friendship that has a history of shared stories and memories. One where you can totally be yourself and know you will be loved and accepted.
A quality bottle of wine or whiskey that has been sitting on the shelf waiting for the perfect celebration. Smooth and easy.
The red rock formations in Utah and Arizona. The ones that have been shaped by thousands of years of wind and water.

Being vintage comes with some scratches and wear

I was at a restaurant recently and an older man and his wife were eating in a booth near us. When they were ready to leave, his wife was trying to help him lift himself off of the soft, low booth seat, up to his walker. After a few unsuccessful tries, Mr. U jumped up and helped them. Experiencing our aging bodies is tough stuff. It is not for sissies.

The point of the above story is that, if we are blessed with the gift of many years on this earth, our bodies will eventually start to fail us. The first signs of this are a few wrinkles and the occasional gray hair that we quickly pluck away. But then another one comes up and we realize that if we keep plucking, we won’t have any hair at all. We forget where we set our glasses, or we can’t get that jar open with a quick twist anymore. Our bodies don’t react as quickly, and we are not as balanced as we once were. We can wake up with aches and pains that we have no fathomable reason for. How does one hurt their shoulder while sleeping?

This is normal aging, and it is not something any of us look forward to. We can eat healthy, exercise regularly and yet, eventually our bodies will rust out. But one thing we can control through the aging process is our attitude. Age can turn some people into themselves where their pain and sadness live. These older people have allowed the bumps and bruises of life to make them angry and unhappy with themselves and life in general. We have all met them. I don’t want to be that person. There is enough sadness and negativity in the world without me adding to it. That is why I try to keep this blog positive. So, I am here to tell you that there is also some very good news that comes with aging.

“The gift of aging is walking more slowly knowing you are enough, letting go of what matters least and holding space in the midst of chaos.”

IG: Agingdisgracefully

The best things about being vintage

One of the things I particularly like about this phase of life is that I am much more willing to roll with the punches. I have time and space to stop and appreciate the glimmer of sunshine on the water, the wonder of the cloud formations, that first cup of coffee in the morning, or sit and watch the entire sunrise without feeling like I need to jump in the shower and get to work. I am more accepting of others. I realize that perfection is an illusion that I don’t want to chase anymore. I am much clearer on what makes me feel alive and have the time to invest in those things. There is a less of a need to control things, or worse yet, to try and control people. I realize that life is short, and I don’t want to waste it being critical, holding a grudge or wallowing in self-pity.

I am in my 60’s and loving this phase of life. Retirement is fun! We have more time and financial resources than we ever did. We are able to enjoy our family and relationships with less borders around them. We loved raising our kids, but parenting takes a lot of your time and energy. Now we reap the benefits of that by enjoying time with our wonderful adult children. Bonus that we still get to experience the childhood phase through our grands, without the responsibility of raising them. (My greatest admiration goes out to grandparents that are raising their grandchildren.) If it wasn’t for the occasional health issues that keep popping up, it would be the perfect time of life. So, take time to slow down and appreciate these bonus vintage years.

Cheers to the retirement years and vintage people!

“Aging is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been.”

David Bowie

Free Range Children

Posted on May 14, 2025May 14, 2025 by The Retired Alchemist

Free range animals are said to produce much better, healthier meat, poultry and dairy products. These animals are not constantly kept in cages or overcrowded conditions. They are allowed to run outdoors to exercise and play in the sunlight to build their muscles and lung capacity in an open environment. If free range is healthier for animals, it stands to reason that it is better for humans too. I grew up a free range child.

Water, dirt and nature. Those are the secret ingredients that create a happy, healthy childhood. They are the stuff that free range children thrive in. Adults too. My siblings and I grew up in the country where a creek fed into a small lake in front of our house. There was a lovely, inviting woods across the road that we played in for hours. Of course, you had to traverse the scary cattle chute (Portal to the Imagination) to get to it. We were feral children, running with the sun on our shoulders, the wind in our hair and a smile on our faces. It was childhood at its best.

Free range play creates peace and calm in your soul.

What free range kids do with their time

We grew up in a home that my dad and grandpa built. It was a 1400 square foot, three-bedroom, one-bath log house and it sheltered six children from the bumps and bruises of life. By other people’s standards it was very small, but they did not know the joy behind those walls. While we did not have much interior space, my parents more than made up for it with love, security and their presence. And we had the space and freedom to roam the countryside free range style. We were blessed.

A few weeks ago, my wonderful sister gave me a small bag of pine nuts that she had gathered from the pinecones in her yard. She knew that it would ignite a delightful memory for me of when we were growing up. She and I would gather pine nuts out of cones that had dropped from the pine trees in our yard and then we would feast on them wholeheartedly. Little did we know that we were ahead of our time and that pine nuts would eventually be an expensive gourmet food. We also pulled the pitch off of sappy trees and chewed it like gum. That never became popular… understandably. It is a wonder we lived through our free-range eating experiences.

A wild Easter Lily just like what my sister and I picked as kids (left). A few pine nuts (right).

Growing up free range meant that my siblings and I could play outside for hours letting our imaginations lead us. We explored every inch of our property finding the best places to make forts or walking along the water’s edge pulling over rocks to catch crawdads. We had bullfrog races and made mud pies. Sometimes we would throw our fishing lines off of the dock and catch perch and sunfish that we would generously bring as offerings for my mom to fry up. She held firm though when we wanted her to cook the ~~caviar~~ eggs from the perch. We had to fry those ourselves. Another modern-day delicacy of sorts that I must admit I never liked.

My sister and I cannot see a wild Easter Lily without remembering the bouquets we would gather and bring to my mom on Mother’s Day and her birthday. What mother’s heart doesn’t melt when her child offers up a grubby little hand filled with flowers and says, “I picked these for you.”

Opening the gates for children now

It is more of a challenge to let kids run free range these days in our unpredictable world. Parents have to make a conscious effort to allow their kids opportunities to explore outside without an adult managing their time. It takes effort to pull them away from the T.V., Nintendo, and structured activities but it can be done. It was easier growing up in a tech-free world. The U.S. Forest Service has even declared a “National Get Outside Day” to encourage families to spend time together reconnecting with nature (Coast To Coast National GO Day Events Occurred In Support Of Let’s Move Outside | Home). While I applaud their efforts, there is also a part of me that is sad we needed to declare a day just to get kids out in nature. What ever happened to free range children?

Fortunately, they still exist. We just have to make the effort to get out there. Running around outside to explore is necessary for adults and children alike. Even in retirement, I need to spend time outdoors to free my soul. I see my grandkids frequently getting these very opportunities and it makes me smile. We had my 21-month-old granddaughter over the other day. When I asked her what she would like to do, the first thing she said was “outside.” I am grateful for another generation of free range kids. It will help build imaginative, healthy and holistic adults that will lead our world long after we are gone.

An addition to the free range flock

Speaking of the next generation, we have exciting news on the home front. Son #3 and his lovely wife had their second child last week! This precious little bundle is such a blessed addition to our free range flock.

TheRetiredAlchemist

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