It was one of those idyllic winter mornings. We woke up to a light dusting of snow on the ground. It was a perfect day to bundle up and go cut down our Christmas tree. We live amongst hundreds of pine trees, so we can just step out our door and find the Elusive “Perfect” Christmas Tree. In all reality, our tree makes Charlie Brown’s look like it should be displayed at the White House. Every. Single. Year. But there is just something about going out and cutting your own tree that is raw and real. So, around this time each year we layer on cloths and, armed with a dull bow saw, we trudge around our property in search of the perfect adequate tree to grace our living room for the next few weeks. Yep, it is all fun and games until it is time to put the lights on the Christmas tree. Then all is merry and fight bright.

Son #4 used to help Mr. U put the tree lights on every year. I have to admit that they did a great job, but I don’t need to be reminded of that when I am tangled in tree limbs and wire with pine needles in my hair. Apparently, Mr. U wishes son #4 were here to help instead of moi. Me too. It did not start out well when I opened a brand-new box of lights and half of them didn’t work. Suffice it to say, it went downhill from there. Please tell me that we are not the only ones that are not speaking to each other by the time we are done wrapping the lights around the Christmas tree.

Christmas traditions bright and dark

If you have followed my blog for very long, you know that I am a big believer in traditions. They are the cement that holds a family together. However, some traditions lean on the darker side. For example, my parents had an unwritten tradition on the 4th of July. They lived on a lake, so they usually hosted a crowd of 30+ people for an afternoon on the water, followed by a BBQ. And every year, like clockwork, they would have a minor argument over whether the pre-made burgers should be grilled frozen or thawed. I would tease them that this argument had become a yearly tradition. (What I wouldn’t give to hear that tradition just one more time.)

Like the hamburger argument, I think it is probably time to let go of the darker tradition of arguing while we wrestle to put the lights on the Christmas tree. Every year I threaten to buy a pre-lit fake tree the following year. But, like having a baby, over time you forget the pain and agony and you turn around and repeat the process. Matter of fact, we forgot as soon as all of the ornaments were on the tree, the house lights dimmed, and we had settled in to enjoy a hot buttered rum under the twinkling (albeit crooked) tree lights.

On the brighter side, there is one particular Christmas tradition that we plan to keep. It is a community event called Breakfast with Santa. Years ago, a sweet little girl named Shalena was struggling with cancer. The community volunteer fire department wanted to help and so they put on a breakfast to raise money for Shalena and her family. The fire department has continued this tradition ever since. They identify one family, typically with a child that is fighting cancer, as their recipient of the proceeds.

It is heartwarming to see how the community pulls together. The firefighters serve up a hearty breakfast and one of the previous fire fighters even orders a very specific, and delicious sausage to cook up. People and businesses in our small community create gift baskets for the raffle. And of course, as advertised, Santa is there to visit with the children. When our kids were little, we joined several other families to start a local 4-H club. One of the club’s community service projects was to bus the tables for Breakfast with Santa. While my boys were never thrilled to roll out of bed and trudge out in the cold to do this early on a Sunday morning, they were always glad they did afterwards. I was heartened to see that the 4-H club still gives their time for this event.

Giving back during the holidays is what the season is all about. It is what fills you with joy and goodwill. Unlike the local hospital’s Festival of Trees, which is also a great fundraiser but is all about glamor and glitz, Breakfast with Santa is very down to earth. The fire trucks are all pulled out of the garage, and it is transformed into a makeshift restaurant. People can show up in their pajamas or grubby clothes after shoveling walks. It isn’t about showing off your money, it is about giving back in the sincerest way.

I imagine that we all have Christmas traditions that are both light and dark. Things that fill our hearts with joy and things that do not bring out our best selves. So, whether your traditions are bright or dark, may you emerge from the season preparations whole, happy and still married.