If you had the traditional wedding back in the 70’s or 80’s you probably remember picking out a china dinnerware set to put on your wedding gift registry. I know I did. It was such a grown-up thing to do. We picked out a delicate white pattern with lavender and tan flowers on it. I envisioned having guests over for lovely sit-down dinners with crisp white tablecloths, sipping coffee from fine rimmed china cups. I am not sure what universe I was living in at the time, but it was definitely not reality. We have probably eaten off of the dishes 15 times in the 44 years that we have been married. Now that we are downsizing, does the wedding china make the move?
Along with the china, we picked out a set of silverware and some delicate wine and water goblets. Never mind that I did not even like wine at that time. Practicality had nothing to do with these choices. It was just what you did in that era. It was a sign of being an adult and starting a new life. I would have been wiser to choose an everyday stoneware set. Yet, this china set is part of my history. It tells a story. I have used the silverware set a lot and will definitely keep it. Not the same for the wine and water goblets, of which I never got the complete set.
Since we did not get the complete set of eight for the wine and water goblets, they sat in the cupboard collecting dust for over 40 years. About a year ago I decided to go ahead and use them for every day. Why not, life is short, they are beautiful, and they remind me of a special time in my life. However, I still have trouble using them because they are so delicate. The china dishes are still collecting dust and I need to decide if they will make the move with us. Ugh. These are the tough decisions. I can’t just do the Marie Kondo thing and take a picture and release it. It is bigger than that. It is part of “us”.
Is fine china back in style?
Go into any vintage store and you will find china dinnerware sets for cheap. I guess a lot of baby boomers are wondering what they were thinking of back then too. They are beautiful, but not really practical. And they take up quite a bit of precious cupboard space. Fortunately, some people are reviving these old china sets and bringing them back to life with a decorating style called granny chic, or grandmillennial style.
Granny chic is a new home decor trend that celebrates cozy nostalgia. A gentle blend of vintage and modern with soft florals. It creates a comfy aesthetic that makes you want to settle in with a good book. Or invite the neighbor over for hot biscuits fresh out of the oven and homemade jam accompanied by a stout cup of coffee on china dishes. It is the perfect setting for light conversation and a few juicy tidbits of gossip. It is cozy comfort.
Another way to use old china dishes is to create a design wall. Design walls, with an eclectic mix of pictures and old plates, are definitely on trend these days. Many of the pieces for these walls are a mismatch of wedding china plates and platters. They create a unique and cozy nostalgic feel.
Another popular trend is using a mix of older china pieces for a table place setting. As long as you keep similar color tones and patterns, it can work. This is much more interesting than a perfectly matched china place setting. Bonus if the table is outdoors with a hand embroidered tablecloth. The desire to recycle is strong right now. No one wants to contribute to overflowing landfills, so people are finding unique ways to use old products that are fun and interesting. It just takes looking outside the box and being a little brave with your style.
Adding more to the pile
Not only do I have this complete set of wedding china for eight, but several years ago my mom gave me her gorgeous 12-piece place setting of India Tree Spode, along with numerous serving pieces to match. I have always admired it, so when she decided to pass it on to me, I was delighted. I have used it a couple of times and I do display some of the pieces. The pattern is timeless. But seriously, I do not need two sets of good china when I rarely use one. Our new home is not huge and there will not be a lot of storage space. I considered passing them on to my own kids, but they do not want our stuff. (Notice in the linked post that I started this downsizing thing over two years ago-geez.)
I have wrestled with the china decision for a couple months now and the moment of reckoning has come. My mom passed away three years ago, and the Spode was something she collected over the years and loved. The china is a reminder of her beautiful style and gracious spirit. Besides, it makes a lovely, timeless table setting. And the wedding china is, well, part of our history. Besides they would make a nostalgic place setting on a table with a quilt under the old apple tree… there I go again.
After much deliberation I have decided… drumroll please, that both sets will be making the move. I cannot part with either set so I will find the space for them. But I am committing to using them more. Life is too short to have them sitting in the cupboard gathering dust when they could be enjoyed. And so the downsizing project goes. At this rate I might as well just pack everything up and haul it with us for our kids to have to sort through some day. Sigh.
We can relate! We got married in 1977. Through the years we moved several times–10 or 11, I forget now–and the set of Royal Doulton (Mandalay pattern) made the move each time. Rarely used. Twelve years ago we made the BIG retirement move from Georgia to New Hampshire to live in a condo near our only son. We sold or donated practically everything. And I’m not exaggerating. BUT, we decided to bring the set of china with the stipulation that it would now be our “everyday” dishes. Guess what? It worked! To this day we have no other plates, cups, saucers. And not one has broken. The only very minor downside for us is the pattern has a gold band on the rim so we cannot warm food in the microwave. But that hasn’t been worth adding more dishes. I’m sure that we would not have kept TWO sets like you (we’re much more minimalistic) but I can attest that china from that era was well made and is not fragile! Use it!
Hi Don –
I suspected that there were quite a few of us boomers with the wedding china dilemma. Good to hear that you decided to use it. However, I had not considered the microwave issue, as our china has a silver rim on it. It is still making the move, especially when I hear that is not as fragile as it looks. I envy that you already made the big downsize move. It is a daunting task.
Yes. Use it! I have the Old Country Rose dinner set. It’s meant to be used. In fact, I’ve heard that the less it’s used, the more brittle it gets. When my granddaughters were little, we used to have tea parties with that china. Life is too short to keep precious things for good.
Hi Mona –
That is interesting that the china gets more brittle when it sits unused. Actually, that makes sense and is another good reason to start using it more. Love the tea party idea with the grands.
We were married on June 25, 1980. I picked out Noritake Morning Jewel china. I have 12 place settings and many serving pieces plus many crystal water goblets etched with the Morning Jewel pattern. I still love the pattern and use it every Thanksgiving on the older adults table. We set an older adults, young adults (our kids and spouses) and grandkids table.My sister got our mother’s Blue Danube china. Thanks to eBay we have both added many pieces to our sets over the years. I am glad you decided to keep your china sets and to use them more often.
Hi Sue –
It is encouraging to hear that you are using and enjoying your wedding china. I am glad that I decided to keep mine as well. I just packed it in boxes yesterday to make the move. You brought up a good memory for me of holiday dinners at my grandparent’s house where we sat at the kids table – that was so much fun. Your grands will have wonderful memories of that.
I am so happy that fussy wasn’t the style when we got married (early 2000’s). We still use the simple white dish set that we started out with. I inherited some Spode dishes from my Grandmother that I never used (“Fairy Dell”… you can imagine). I have no idea where they are now. If it can’t go into the microwave or dishwasher, the younger generation doesn’t want them. I say, if you love them, use them. At our age, it doesn’t make sense to save things “for good.” Every day is good!
Hi Janis –
You are lucky that you escaped fussy. I wish I had gone with simple white dishes, since that is what I ended up using for everyday our entire married life. Yes, the name “Fairy Dell” gives me an immediate visual of the china. I can’t say that I love our wedding china, but I love what they represent and remind me of. I think I am failing at downsizing. Sigh.
I am going to remember your comment “every day is good!” Great way to look at life.
I have been collecting bits of blue and white dishes for several years with thoughts of parting with my huge set of stoneware that I am weary of. When my grand daughter said she wanted the Phaltzgraff, I was so happy!
Just yesterday it all went to the garage to stay until it gets a ride to Montana and in it’s place are the mix and match blue and whites. Not too many; one must always have something to collect.
And when I have guests, out comes the 1960’s Lenox Eternal that will be used much more often.
Hi Lynda –
It is definitely easier to give something away to someone that you know will cherish it and she will be thrilled to get it. I love that you are collecting mismatched pieces of blue and white dishes. You will have so much fun finding surprise pieces in vintage stores and thrift shops. Good for you to use the Lenox much more too. As Janis mentioned in the previous comment, “every day is good!”
When I downsized 8 years ago it was glorious; I felt free of posessions. When I took precious things to the thrift store I had the mantra of “its only stuff”. The things I kept were small keepsakes of friends and family; in the end that’s what counted for me. ( My sisters always said I was not sentimental about things) I have not regretted anything I got rid of and have not replaced it. I have been called a minimalist in my decor but that’s OK, I’m happy. I love what I kept. So do whatever makes YOU happy!
When are you moving? I was thinking of making a run north….would love to see you and Lori before you go if it works out.
Hi Claire –
I think we value the freedom from possessions more as we get older. I always say, we spend the first half of our lives collecting stuff and the 2nd half trying to get rid of it. It is encouraging to hear the freedom you felt from downsizing and that you have no regrets. I will keep that in the back of my mind as I continue to wade through everything we have collected over the years.
We are not moving far. Just 20 miles away, but it is closer to family, town and healthcare. I would LOVE to get together with you and Lori when you make your way up here. It would be so good to see you and get caught up!
Love that wedding pic!
I am no help at all when it comes to making decisions like that.🤷🏼
Hi Janie!
It is tough. I think I have decision fatigue since the other day I could not even decide which type of toast to order at the restaurant. 😊
When I downsized, I decided I didn’t want practical dishes anymore, and we went with using the good china every day. We put it in the dishwasher–dishwashers aren’t so hard on china as they used to be, I think. Then we inherited a partial set of really beautiful antique china, apple blossoms with heavy gold accents. Those we decided to use for everyone’s birthday, Christmas, New Year’s, MLK Day, Valentine’s, Lincoln’s Birthday, Washington’s Birthday–you get the idea. Any occasion will do. (But I still handwash those plates.) We DO break dishes, alas. But the alternative? Charity store or the trash can.
Hi Auntie M!
I never thought of pulling out the good china for the less known holidays, such as Lincon’s birthday. What a great way to make ordinary days more special. I usually only think about it on Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter. Just for the record, I still handwash my good china too.
My grandmother sent me a full set of Lenox Autumn China stretched out over a couple of years. Something would show up every couple of months, a perpetual gifting. There are far more than place settings: platters, butter & sugar and salt and pepper shakers, serving bowls, coffee cups/ saucers with the pitcher, gravy boats etc. She spent thousands of dollars on it over the years.It means the world to me. I thought my daughters wanted it but they appear to be reversing that now. I was told I should sell it. That seems blasphemous to me. Everyone is old like me and if I give it away it should go to someone younger. (My girls don’t want children. 😢 ). I have a real quandary here. and am at a loss at what to do. I guess I could donate it but I don’t know to whom. Ugh.
Hi Allison!
What a thoughtful gift from your grandmother! I can see why it would feel “blasphemous” to give, or sell it, to a complete stranger. The sentimental items are the hardest to decide what to do with. And like you, most boomers are saying the same thing… our kids don’t want our “stuff.” When we downsized, I had to remind myself over and over again that it was just “stuff” – items I had enjoyed for years but had served their purpose in my life. I have had several readers say that, instead of getting rid of their good china, they decided to use it as their everyday dishes. I wish you the best as you try to decide what to do.