Tag: #downsizing

Curating a Home

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

Most retirees, at some point, reconsider their living options, because, well… life is different now. Once the kids have left the nest and we are no longer tethered to a job, we start to reevaluate our living space. We don’t need to be within a reasonable commute to work anymore. We don’t need four bedrooms and three bathrooms now that the kids have homes of their own. And do we really want to continue to maintain that large yard? What fit our lives for years, may no longer meet the needs of our retired, empty nest lifestyle. Now what?

The beauty of it is, you are free to move wherever you like. It could be closer to grandkids. It could be seeking warmer weather. Maybe it is finally living where your heart takes you, in the woods or near the ocean. For many retirees, it is downsizing. The key is to evaluate your priorities and determine what would make this phase of your life richer and more meaningful. For us, it was downsizing, moving closer to town and being near a lake. Wherever you move, you have to start again… with four blank walls.

Four blank walls

Four blank walls. They could be anywhere: a doctor’s office, a nursing home, a restaurant… or a brand-new house. They are just walls. What transforms them into a space that welcomes you? A space that makes you want to put your feet up. A feeling of warmth that prompts you to settle in and have one more cup of coffee. Have you ever noticed that when you walk into some houses, they feel comfy/cozy and make you want to sink into a chair for a long chat? Others feel sterile and stiff. How do we transform a house into a home?

If you have lived anywhere long enough, you have lots of experiences and memories created in your home. It holds you like a worn pair of comfy slippers. You know which doors squeak, you smile when you see that the ding in the ceiling from when your husband swung a golf club a little too high in the house, or the pen marks on the door trim marking a child’s growth each year. You remember the family dinners, the holidays celebrated and the games played on the living room floor. The walls resonate with warm memories. It is the life lived within the walls that transforms a house into a home. If you move, that starts over with just four blank walls. Such was the case with us.

I finally got up the nerve to put a nail in this blank wall last week and hung this one sole picture in our guest bathroom.

Transforming those four blank walls

We moved into our new house last fall. We spent hours with the drafter and contractor trying to construct a home that fit our needs as retired empty nesters. We wanted a house that was cozy and easy to maintain, but large enough to host family gatherings comfortably. We had the opportunity to pick out the cupboards, flooring, lighting, fixtures and a million other decisions, as it was being built. A new home is lovely and beautiful but also feels a little sterile.

You would think that we would have felt right at home once we moved the last piece of furniture in. The property felt like home since it was rebuilt on the same land I grew up on, but the house needed time. It needed to be curated. Shortly after we moved in, we took a trip to the ocean, then it was prep for the holidays, family visited from out of town, and then we spent some of the winter in Arizona. On top of this, daily life continues.

And so, we find ourselves in spring and many of our walls are still bare because I hate to put nail holes in the fresh, clear new walls. What if I change my mind, or it isn’t the right height, and I leave an extra hole? Hence, the bare walls, which cause conversations to echo.

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We bought this cabinet shortly after we got married. It has traveled with us from house to house. I covered it with milk paint and distressed it several years ago. The bird and bee nests are “roasidea” finds. The pitcher was a gift from my mom, and I recently scored this mirror at a vintage shop in town.

I love shopping at Home Goods as much as anyone and nothing can beat the convenience of Amazon and Wayfair for shopping online. But a home is not curated through retail shopping. It is built slowly, over time. I like to put together a blend of less expensive purchased items that make a house look updated, along with a few investment pieces and then the final touches are the very things that give your home personality and make it unique and interesting. And they do not happen overnight.

These final touches come three ways. First are the shared experiences and memories that occur within the walls, which I have written about before in the post The House that Built a Family. A house just feels more like home once you have hosted family and friends there.

The walls of our new home are starting to resonate with laughter and warm memories after hosting a couple brunches this spring.

The second thing that makes a house into a comfortable home is that there are signs of life going on in them. A loaf of bread is cooling on the counter. There are framed photos of family and friends. A fire is dancing in the fireplace. A knitting project sits in a basket, or a book is waiting to be read. Perhaps it is a plant thriving in the window. Life is happening. There is a heartbeat to the home.

The third thing that transforms a house into a home are the unique treasures we decorate with. Items that we love, value and have collected over the years. These are the things that have meaning to us… not just something picked off of a store shelf. We remember the trip we were on when we found the porcelain birds in an antique store on a rainy day at the ocean. It could be the tablescape we put together with Roadsidea we gathered with our sister on an outdoor adventure. It might be the treasured pitcher that your mom gave you years ago that reminds you of her.

When we moved, we had years of Stuff that we had to sift through and decide what would make the move. Years of good memories. I had to be ruthless as I eliminated items that no longer served us. I could not keep all of the glassware my mom gave me, so I had to choose the most significant. The ones that fit my style and evoked warm memories every time I looked at them. The hard part was releasing the rest.

The sewing machine cover my friend made for me set the bright colors for my office. The paper flowers remind me of the class my sister and I took together to learn how to make them (left). The shelf on the right tells part of my story, from gifts special people gave me, like the treasured book from my mom, to the mementos from trips (right).
I found the birds when DIL #2 and I went antiquing on a rainy afternoon at the ocean. I am filled with that wonderful memory each time I look at them (left). The vintage school bell is from Mr. U’s aunt when she taught in a one room schoolhouse (right). We ring it when we want to gather a big crowd together for dinner.
We salvaged the door that my grandpa put in the previous home over 65 years ago (left). We also had an accent wall built from the pine paneling in the previous home that my dad and grandpa milled. The shelf was the former fireplace mantel (right).

Curating a house into a home

Consider what treasured items make you smile and fill you up emotionally when you look at them. The ones that feel like a warm hug. If they are tucked in a cupboard or some place for safe keeping, pull them out because those are the very pieces that transform a house into a home. While they may not be as gorgeous as the stuff off of a Pottery Barn shelf, they are much more unique, chock full of character, and most importantly, they hold our stories.

A house is lived in immediately. A home is curated over time by filling it with meaningful items and happy memories. What are your treasured pieces… the things that make your heart sing every time you look at them? If they are hiding in a closet or basement, bring them out. If they need a fresh coat of paint, slap some on. Maybe it is the photo that you have been meaning to get enlarged and framed (guilty). Or perhaps it is the heirloom dishes that you hesitate to use for fear of breaking them. Pull them out, clean them off, fix them up and enjoy them because these are the very items that transform a house into a home.

Now I am going to go pound another hole in the wall. Happy decorating!

This Christmas cactus brings me joy because it began as a start off my mom’s plant.

The House that Built a Family

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

If the walls of this old house could talk, they would chatter about the family of six that lived here for 25 years. It would smile about all of the birthdays, family dinners, graduation parties, engagements, weddings, eggs colored and hunted, Christmas presents unfurled, games played, and laughter shared under its roof. And it would shed a tear for the times when the family was worried or heartbroken and hunkered down inside until the storm passed. A house that builds a family becomes more than brick and mortar. It becomes a shelter for the emotions of life. Its walls have protected the family, not just from the weather, but the bumps and bruises of living. This old house built our family.

Like most empty nesters, this big ole house that we raised our family in feels like a museum of memories. Memories that echo through the halls where four active boys were raised. But now there are not any more bedroom walls covered in sports posters, or pen hash marks on the door frame that marked the boys’ growth through the years. The antique pencil sharpener that is attached inside the closet no longer gathers shavings from frustrated homework assignments. This house has become too big and too quiet for us. It is almost a half hour drive to town and sits up a long driveway that Mr. U has to maintain and plow every winter. This home that we have loved and has protected us for so many years no longer fits this phase of life we are in. It is time to move on.

The memories

We started out with a hunk of land on a hillside and dreams of building a home where a family would share life together. Since that time, we have added so much to it. Not just the house itself and the obligatory grass and shrubs, but unique features that made it our own. There is the tree that Mr. U. planted for me when I graduated with my master’s degree. He has since added a fountain under it, using the old pump from his family farm. Speaking of the family farm, he hauled an ancient rusty truck up here and used it as an outdoor feature. When son #3 got married we put a basket of props next to it and used it as a fun photo “booth” location. Will the new owners treasure the old truck or think it’s an eyesore?

What has fondly become referred to as my “graduation tree” is hanging over the rock fountain with pump (left). Son #1 and his lovely wife using the props to pose for a pic in front of the old truck (right).

Shortly after we first moved in, we laboriously laid bricks down to create a back patio. We wanted something unique and inexpensive that we could do ourselves. Over the years, the moss has crept up between the bricks giving it a Tuscan feel. Ten years ago, our boys helped Mr. U build the pergola over the brick patio. Son #1 was getting married here and we needed a space that would define the patio and yard. Will the new owners see the charm in the weathered pergola and moss filled bricks or will they pull it all out?

Pergola over the back patio (left). It took years for the moss to grow around the bricks.

The beautiful lavender rhododendron and pink bleeding-heart bushes came from very small starts that my dad gave us off of his plants, back when he was much younger and still able to garden. The rhododendron has grown out of control and covers part of our bedroom window, blocking some of the view. But we can’t cut it back because every year a robin comes to lay eggs in the nest that is tucked into its branches. We observe the baby birds growing up from our bedroom window. How will the new owners know to save this?

The rhododendron from my dad’s start (left) and the robin’s nest that lives in it (right).

Speaking of animals, we have had plenty of wild ones stop by through the years. Some wanted and some not. We love the deer, turkey and occasional moose, but the moose can be a little scary, the deer eat everything, and the turkeys are messy. The little birds in our birdhouse have been a welcome addition. The voles in the garden and bats that thought the loft in our garage was a bat cave… not so much. And none of us will forget the leprechaun that moved into a stump on our property. The grands brought him miniature pancakes and milk in a tiny teacup, and he left them small gifts and candy. Who will feed the leprechaun when we leave?

You can barely see the little swallow peeking out of the birdhouse on the left. And while the leprechaun lived in the little house on the right, we were never able to spot him.

Being a farm boy at heart, Mr. U loves to dig in the dirt. So shortly after we moved here he added a large garden space with a deer fence around it. Because, well… they like to eat everything in sight. Several years later he built a rustic greenhouse to start his plants in the early spring when it is still too cold around here to put anything in the ground. We hung little lights in it, and it became a unique part of the landscaping. There are few things quite as satisfying, or delicious as picking fresh raspberries, vegetables and herbs to add to a meal.

Mr. U’s lovely garden has supplied us with fresh food for years.

Our most recent addition was the pizza oven and sitting area. It has been such a great Gathering Place. We have cooked hundreds of pizzas in it and shared many conversations under the warmth of its embers. We have even tried our hand at baking Bread in it. We will really miss the pizza oven. Several people have asked if Mr. U will build another one at our new home, but he says it is doubtful. It was A LOT of work to build, and pizza nights can take a lot of prep time and clean up afterwards. I think it just might be one of the many memories that we carry away with us from the house on the hill.

Mr. U. smiling in front of his pizza oven.
The twins throwing pizza dough (son #3 left and #4 right).
Son #2 (far left) is the creative genius behind our pizza toppings. He came up with the favorite S’mores pizza.
The famous S’mores pizza is bottom left. And no, that is NOT what the pizza paddle is for!

Moving on

We have spent the last couple years slowly going through the arduous process of sorting through 44 years of Stuff. Stuff that has been packed into every crevice and cranny of this old house. As I have gone through every single item, deciding what to keep, give away or throw, I have also relived our lives. And I have shed a lot of tears. Tears of appreciation and tears of sadness for that part of our lives that we will never be able to live again.

Now the sorting, cleaning and small repairs are almost done, and the house went up on the market last week. A plain house that became our home. For a home does not just happen overnight. It takes years of living life in it and having family and friends share gatherings in it. And slowly, over time, a house morphs into a home. Then one day, we decide that home no longer fits our lifestyle, and we need to move on. It is a bit like leaving a close relative behind. This home helped build and shape our family and I will be forever grateful for the years we spent here. Thanks for walking with me down memory lane and sharing the house that built a family.

The sun sets at our home on the hill.

My 2025 Word of the Year

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

I don’t make new year’s resolutions. Probably because I hate failure. However, I have chosen a word of the year (WOTY) the last couple years to help guide my intentions for the year. The problem is that I get busy and forget to lean into my WOTY. For 2023 My WOTY was “awe.” I wanted to take notice of every single little wonder that was in front of me. It helped, but I still missed a lot of details because I was pushing and pulling through life instead of just being… and noticing.

Living out my 2024 WOTY

Last year I chose the word Upcycled to be my WOTY. I liked the traditional use of the word, but more importantly, upcycling is defined as creating something that is of higher quality and a better version than the original one. I figured that should be true of our lives as well. I wanted to find unique and creative ways of Living Our Best Lives. We started off strong by spending the month of February in Florida experiencing The Salt Life. It was a sunny month full of exploring and Living Like the Locals while we stayed at a weathered salty marina. We got to eat delicious fresh seafood under palm trees as we Ate Our Way Through Sarasota. Back at home it is very difficult to get really good, fresh seafood in the middle of February when you are buried under layers of snow.

We were back home and settled into our own lives again long before the crocuses and daffodils pushed up through the soil. I started thinking about the traditional sense of upcycling and how I could buy less and start Living More Organically. The ultimate in traditional upcycling was when I went Thrifting on Steroids. That was a little too hard core for me. By far, my favorite experience in 2024 was booking a house at Rockaway Beach and having our immediate family gather together for a full week. It was not upcycled or inexpensive, but it did take some creativity to pull off. And it definitely contributed to living my best life in 2024. Sometimes you have to decide what is worth your time and money and go for it. If not now, when?

Sitting around the campfire at Rockaway Beach, Oregon.

2025 word of the year

This year is the mark of a quarter century. It will also be a big year of change for us. It seems that this year’s WOTY should encompass that. I considered using the word change or even downsizing, but it is more than that. So, I am borrowing a term from the writer, Kathy Gottberg at SMART Living 365.com. My WOTY for 2025 will be, drumroll please… rightsizing. I give Kathy credit for using this term in the context of making your retirement life fit with your priorities and lifestyle choices. She wrote an excellent book on the topic, titled Rightsizing: A SMART Living 365 Guide to Reinventing Retirement. I highly recommend this book as you shape and mold your retirement to fit you.

Our retirement lifestyle will change dramatically in 2025. This spring we are selling our large home that we have lived in for the past 24 years. The bulk of raising our family happened within these walls and two of our sons got married here. It has served us well, but now Mr. U and I rattle around in this large home trying to hear each other from three rooms away. (Our new mantra is, “can’t see you, can’t hear you.”) We will be downsizing from a 3,600 square foot home on 40 acres to a 1,900 square foot home on .3 acres.

It will be really hard leaving this home of 24 years. So many memories here.

Downsizing will be a big part of this move, but we will also be upsizing in quality to create a retirement lifestyle that fits us. So really, it is all about rightsizing for our own unique situation, desires and interests at this point in our lives. It is living with intention and not mindlessly walking through these precious retirement years. In the coming months I will be going through every single item we own and determining what will be making the move and what we need to let go of. Tough decisions.

“Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”

William Morris

Moving forward in 2025

We will be moving to this lovely location. My BIL, Craig, took this photo years ago when the place was in its heyday.

We have started rebuilding the home where I grew up next to a small lake in the Pacific Northwest. A place that holds so many good memories. It is only 30 minutes from where we live now, but instead of being 25 minutes from town, it will be a quick 5-minute drive to town, or a 15-minute bike ride. We will be closer to family, restaurants and activities in our small city, and I will be able to drop my kayak into the lake right from our yard. It will be “right” for us at this point in life.

So, I guess you could say that I am coming full circle in my life. We will be living our best retirement life right where I started out in this world. I will write posts about the process as we move through it. I hope that you will join me on the journey of “rightsizing” our retirement lives for 2025.

What’s in Your Retirement Wardrobe?

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

Once the wrapping paper is unfurled and our waistlines are an inch wider, it is time to settle into real life again. After the indulgence of the holiday season, I am overtaken by an urge to clean out and organize. Apparently, I am not the only one, judging from the abundance of totes and storage items on sale after the new year. One of the first things I am tackling is my clothes closet…again.

I retired from my full-time position over five years ago. At that time, I donated a lot of my nicer dress clothes and had The Big Burn with the threadbare ones. It was a way to mark the changing of that season of my life. I did keep a few of my professional dresses, slacks and jackets, just in case. I am not sure what “just in case” was going to be. Maybe it was a way of hanging on to that part of my life that I had spent my entire adult years building. Removing these last few professional items from my wardrobe forces me to face the question, “who am I now that I am no longer the nurse, instructor or department director?” Now, five years later, I am ready to release the rest of those items from my wardrobe and consequently release those professional roles that I have been hanging on to. No one said the emotional aspect of retirement was easy, or quick.

Why now? First, those items have been lingering in the back of my closet taking up precious real estate – both physical and mental. Maybe I am finally ready to close that chapter of my life. Or it could be the fact that several of those pieces of clothing are getting very outdated, although… that never stopped me from wearing an item before. If I find something that I really like, I tend to hold on to it forever: a perfect fitting pair of jeans, a super comfy chair or a husband of over 44 years. If I find something I love, I do not trade it in for a newer version. In husbands, that is a wise choice, but in clothing… not so much.

I learned this lesson several years ago when I was teaching at our local college. The faculty would lecture to an auditorium full of nursing students for 3-4 hours at a time. No matter how riveting a lecture on the diagnosis and treatment of cardiac dysrhythmias, after a couple of hours, your mind tends to wander. Students start thinking about what they are making for dinner that night, whether they remembered to let the dog out before they left, or they start evaluating the lecturer’s clothing.

At the end of each semester, faculty open their student evaluations with trepidation. You never know what kind of feedback you are going to get. So, imagine my surprise when a student wrote a lovely compliment and then followed it up with a comment that I needed to dress more modern. Hum… I don’t know, maybe it was that “classic” red wool blazer that my mom passed down to me that I wore for years. It was beautiful and good quality… but perhaps it was a little outdated. So much for timelessness. In a moment of weakness, I shared this wardrobe evaluation with my colleagues. It was worth the humble moment just to enjoy the laughter and jokes that we had over it for years. But, like any feedback, you have to evaluate what you can take from it. I donated the red blazer and a few other items at the end of that semester. Smile.

These final professional clothing items will not make it to the big burn since they are still in pretty nice condition. Instead, they will be donated to a charity.

But I digress. The biggest reason that I am cleaning out my wardrobe after five years into retirement is that I have come to terms with the fact that my wardrobe needs have changed since I retired. I just don’t dress up much anymore. My mainstay items are sweats, joggers, leggings or shorts. Heck, wearing jeans is a dress up day for me now. Two pair of nice slacks are one too many and I rarely wear a dress anymore. Professional dress clothes are just not needed in my new world of retirement.

Benefits of a retirement wardrobe

Once in a while I miss dressing up. I used to enjoy clothes shopping and finding the perfect outfit with jewelry and shoes to match. But for the most part, the benefits of a retirement wardrobe far outweigh that. No more early morning decisions, standing in front of my closet trying to decide what to wear. And I save quite a bit of money by not having to buy dress clothes. When I am clothes shopping, which I rarely do anymore, I don’t even go into the professional dress clothes section. Why bother? I am really enjoying the casual clothes I wear almost every day now. Comfy is my new wardrobe mantra.

So, it is time to weed through my wardrobe and pull out the last of those items that I was saving “just in case” and open up some more space for my life now. Both mental and physical. How has your wardrobe changed since you retired? Are you loving it or do you miss putting on the suit jacket?