As I get older, I am seeing more silver hairs, wrinkles around my eyes and age spots on my hands. The marks of living a full life. The evidence of making it to the age of 64. I am so grateful to be healthy. To be living these years with zest and vitality. Yet everywhere I turn there are recommendations for products and procedures to fight looking, heaven forbid… older. Like it is a disease we have to combat. What is wrong with looking our age and why do I feel pushed by social media and advertising to try and fight it? It gives me the impression that aging is a problem that we should try to fix or solve.

When I started thinking about this anti-aging attitude that society has, I noticed it showing up everywhere. It is even prevalent in my little city tucked up in the Pacific Northwest. The feature photo, as well as the two below, are just a few of the anti-aging advertisements I have seen locally in the last couple of weeks. Clearly, we are being bombarded with the attitude that looking older needs to be avoided and fixed.

When people try too hard to look younger, it comes off as unnatural. In some ways, it draws attention to their age. I like Reba McEntire but every time I see her on TV, I think how stretched her face looks and how hard she is trying to look youthful again. I get it when you work in the entertainment industry because that is what sells. But what if society changed that image? What if Reba and all of the other over 50+ actresses and singers looked their true age? Would that make a statement to the world that it is lovely to age gracefully? What if it was O.K. to look our age? What if age was seen as beautiful? It is all in how society views it.

Doing our part to change society’s attitude

Don’t use anti-aging terminology. I doubt that we will ever change our society’s negative view of aging, but I can do things in my little corner of the world to not perpetuate the problem. For example, I appreciate the compliment, when someone says I look younger than my age. But why? Why do I feel like that is a compliment? So, going forward, when I see an older person that looks healthy and vibrant, I am going to make the effort to tell them that they look great. And not tag on “for your age,” which really is a back handed compliment.

Share our age proudly. In response to a reporter who told Gloria Steinem (age 40 at the time) that she looked good, she responded, “this is what 40 looks like.” Ten years later, she used the same response with, “this is what 50 looks like.” Many people, particularly older women, avoid telling people their age. We don’t want others to shove us in a corner of their brain that is labeled, “old.” But if we don’t proudly share our age, how will younger people know what aging really looks like and that it is O.K. Even normal. We should be proud to say what age we have made it to. As I get older, I am getting crow’s feet, silver in my hair and age spots. So what? I am also wiser, happier and freer than I have ever been. To borrow Gloria Steinem’s response, this is what 64 looks like.

Let our bodies age naturally. One of the most obvious changes that comes with age are those grey hairs that start showing up. I still don’t know why men with grey hair are considered distinguished and women with grey are considered fuddy duddy. There are women out there trying to change that perception. During COVID many women quit coloring their hair and let their gorgeous, natural grey grow out. There is even a movement of women called the “Silver Sisters” that embraces aging naturally. These women describe a sense of freedom and peace. They felt like they were hiding part of themselves from the world when they covered their grey, and now they are able to be honest. Margaret Osler shares about the wonderful sense of freedom she felt when she let her gorgeous grey curls grow out. She is loving and enjoying life and looks vibrant and happy. We need more examples like her in our anti-aging world.

“Imagine a world where we all looked forward to, valued & celebrated the beauty of natural aging.”

Margaret @aging_is_amazing

I don’t have anything against people that choose Botox, plastic surgery and age defying alternatives. It is wonderful to have options and if it makes someone feel better about themselves, then go for it. We each need to do what makes us feel whole and happy. However, I am just saddened by a world that causes us to feel better about ourselves when we look younger. I have decided that I don’t want to spend my precious time, energy and money on trying to look younger. I don’t want to sit in a physician’s office chair unless I have to. I would rather be spending my time and money doing something I love. Something that vitalizes me. Something that puts a smile on my face and fills my heart with joy. Maybe that is the real secret to looking younger.

My anti aging beautifully formula

Instead of spending my time and money on anti-aging treatments and procedures, I would like to propose a new formula for anti-aging. However, since we are going to avoid the term anti-aging, lets’ call it a formula for aging beautifully. Matter of fact, we need to get rid of the term “anti-aging” entirely. Here is my formula for aging beautifully:

• Get outdoors to get some vitamin D. It will make your skin glow.
• Do some physical activity every day. It will get your blood and lymph fluids moving throughout your body.
• Keep your weight under control. We will have more energy if we are not carrying around an extra 25 pounds. Likewise, if you are limiting your calories and carbs too much, you won’t have enough energy.
• Laugh and smile more. Personally, I think that laugh lines are beautiful.
• Love with an open heart. It will show on your face.
• Give back to others. The satisfaction will give you peace and that will decrease those frown lines.
• Do what makes your heart sing. Happiness looks good on you.
• Surround yourself with things you love. More flowers anyone? It will bring joy to your life.
• Drink more water. A cosmetologist once told me that this is the single best thing you can do for your skin. It fills your skin out naturally.
• Have a heart of gratitude. Trust me, it will show on your face.
• And of course… eat your fruits and vegetables. It will give you the vitamins and minerals that you need to look healthy and glowing.

“There is an elegance in ageing that transcends physical beauty. It’s in the way we carry ourselves with confidence, the depth of our compassion, and the strength of our spirit. It’s in the serene acceptance of who we are and the profound understanding of what truly matters.”

Gail McNeill @fiftysister

I want to look my very best for my age. Who doesn’t? I am not promoting “letting yourself go” as you age. I love a wonderful fragrant facial lotion, make-up, fun cloths and accessories. I am committed to using glycolic acid on my face a couple of times a week. But this is my one and only precious life and I don’t want to waste a lot of it trying to look younger than I am. I don’t have enough time as it is for all of the fun things I want to do. I am too happy and busy living and loving my life to spend my time, energy and money on expensive, time consuming anti-aging products and procedures.

Maybe that is the true secret to aging gracefully… to quite fighting the aging process and allow it. It should not be something to fear, pull or stretch our bodies to avoid. Allow the beauty of age to shine through in our eyes, our attitude and our confidence. Instead of aging being a problem to be solved, it should be considered a gift to be embraced.