This post is for all of the mothers out there. Mothers who wear their hearts on their sleeves. Mothers who have spent countless nights on their knees. Mothers whose hearts swell with joy and pride until they feel like they might burst. To be a mother is to experience all of life’s emotions at their deepest level and to come out on the other side completely wrung dry and totally fulfilled. For one is never the same once you have experienced a mother heart.
Mr. U and I dated for five years before we got married. It gave us a lot of time to discuss our goals in life and how we saw our future together. We both agreed that we wanted a big family. Him, because he was an only child and felt like he missed out on a lot of life as a result. Me, because I came from a family of six kids and loved it. That is how we ended up having four sons. Best thing we ever did. But… there were many times we wondered what in the hell we were doing – we had absolutely no business being parents.
The fact is that raising children is not for the faint of heart. When they hurt, you hurt twice as much. When they make poor choices, you question your abilities as a parent. When your kids are faced with the inevitable challenges of life, you want to sweep in and save them from it, even though you know that working it through themselves is part of growing up.
You invest your life blood into raising your family and you worry. And then you worry some more. There were numerous moments when I questioned whether I was made of the right stuff to be an adequate parent. And many, many times when I questioned if I was doing the right thing by them. The opportunities to do it all wrong are endless. You worry that you have ruined their lives because of one thoughtless comment or one error in judgement.
But mothers (and fathers) of young children, and especially teenagers, take heart. The payoff is yet to come. Suddenly they grow up to be these amazing human beings, and you wonder how they ever did that… apparently, despite our numerous failures as parents. But when it does, you will be forever grateful that you lived your life with a mother heart.


When it all comes back to you
A couple of weeks ago, Mr. U and I got to experience life at its very best. A week that will fill our hearts and carry us through the winter months ahead. We were able to gather all four of our boys (yes, they will always be my “boys” even though they are grown men) and their families together for a week at the Oregon coast. It was magical. My mother heart is full.
It is not easy to gather everyone together. They are in the thrust of their careers. A couple of them have started families and they all have their own commitments in life. We are no longer the center that their world gravitates around, which is exactly as it should be. But it does make it challenging to get everyone together for a full week of vacation. Therefore, we settled on dates and booked the VRBO months ahead. It has been a rough summer for us, and we were really looking forward to unstructured time together.
We had all three, and a half, grandchildren on the trip. Yep, on the first night son #3 and his wife announced that they are expecting a new addition to their family. What a fun surprise to start out our week! Being a grandparent is the best. All of the fun without all of the work. It is amazing to see your sons being these awesome fathers. But something I did not expect was how your heart swells when you observe your sons playing and sharing moments with their nieces and nephew. Mother heart be still.



Rockaway, Oregon
Our family has a long history of spending time at the Oregon coast. My parents took us there on the rare vacations we had as a family. Mr. U and I lived in Portland, Oregon for our first four years of married life and it was always a treat to take a weekend over at the coast. And ever since our own children were small, we have made a point of bringing them to the coast to experience the sand squishing up between their toes, the salty spray on their lips and running from the roaring waves with reckless abandon. What a pleasure to experience this with them as adults and with our grandkids.
We spent time playing on the beach, flying kites, making sandcastles, running from waves, walking and reading. The brothers even braved the cold waters to try boogie boarding. Brrr. They made a hasty dash for the hot tub after that. Nothing makes my mother heart stir quite like seeing my four boys, and now grandson, playing football together. It is something they all enjoy and have done for years. I flash back 25 years when they were around my grandson’s age and see them throwing the football in our yard. Mother hearts remember the important stuff.

Getting crabby
One of our favorite things to do when we are at Rockaway is to go crabbing at Garibaldi. Garibaldi marina has been there as long as I can remember and they rent out boats, bait and crab rings. Bait being ugly, slimy dead fish or chicken carcasses. Long before we had kids, we would rent a boat and motor out to the bay to throw in a few crab rings. The very first time we went crabbing we hauled in a net full of crabs and set it in the bottom of the boat. Immediately crabs started walking sideways all over. I jumped up on the seat screaming to get them out, which is a bit of a trick to do without getting pinched. However, by the third ring pull, I was in there grabbing the small or female crabs (you can only keep males that are 5 3/4 inches wide) and throwing them overboard. It was so much fun that we have kept up the tradition since. So of course, we had to try catching a few crabs one day while we were there. If you love fresh crab and have not tried this before, I highly recommend it.


We caught enough crab to fix a seafood cajun boil that night. So good. Just throw seafood, potatoes, corn, brat sausages, lemon and cajun seasoning into a huge pot and let it simmer. Once it is done you drain it and throw it out on the table for everyone to help themselves. Perfect with some hot crispy french bread.

I have written before about the importance of traditions and building memories. They create bonds that last a lifetime. They are the cement that holds a family together. And they are fodder for stories and laughter that fuel a family through the years. One of our greatest hopes in our lives is that our children will remain close. That they will share in each other’s joys and hold each other up through life’s tough times, long after we are no longer walking on this earth. So, make the effort, take the time, spend the money. It is something you will never regret.

Living with a mother heart
People do not have to be physical mothers to experience a mother heart for the world. Once you experience having a mother heart, you feel life with raw emotions. Your soul weeps when you see children that are hungry, displaced or lonely. Your heart goes out to the people that lost family and homes in the hurricanes on the gulf coast, or the wars and devastation in the middle east. A mother heart is one that cares about the poor, the needy, the brokenhearted and the downtrodden. A mother heart feels the world on a deeper level. But they also feel the joy on a deeper level too because they know, deep down in their souls, what a gift it is to be alive and breathing in this world of ours.
