Tag: retirement

Retirement Metamorphosis

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

It is kind of a big word, metamorphosis, but it describes what often happens if we are doing retirement right – if we are growing and changing and becoming. There are too many stagnant retirees sitting around. You know the ones. All they want to talk about is their life before they retired. They find a way to mention what they did for a living, how big their company was or how many direct reports they had. I hate to break it to them, but no one cares anymore. We are career “has beens.” It is time for a metamorphosis.

What is retirement metamorphosis?

Metamorphosis is the biological change that happens as something grows. Once you go through metamorphosis you are no longer the same and there is no going back. Every retirement should experience a metamorphosis. We should not be the same person we were when we were working 40+ hours per week. We finally have time to do those things that are deep within us. Things that stir our soul. Things that don’t pay the bills, but make our hearts sing.

I know several retirees that are using this time to evolve. They are building an interesting retirement lifestyle. Let me give you a few real-life examples:

  • A retired physician has become an artist and sells his work at the Pacific Artists’ Co-op Art Gallery on the Oregon Coast.
  • A retired marketing rep. expanded her interest in gardening to become a master gardener and now runs a small nursery, and on-line store called The Coeur d’Alene Coop – Raising Chickens and Urban Gardening.
  • A retired nurse thrifts quality clothing and recreates it into beautiful, one-of-a-kind bags to sell on her Etsy shop.
  • A retired radiology technician took some pottery making classes and now teaches it at the local college.
  • A retired schoolteacher upcycles furniture and decorative items that he and his wife sell in their vendor booth at a local vintage market.

None of these retirees need the money they bring in from their hobbies. Each started out doing it because they wanted to create. They wanted to express themselves and grow and become. None of them wanted to spend their retirement years sitting around watching T.V. or doomscrolling. They used these bonus years to metamorphosize into a new version of themselves in retirement.

You can sit around and rust out in retirement. Or… you can take the time and effort to metamorphosize your retirement into something worth living for.

Am I really a writer?

When I retired, I decided I wanted to devote time to creative writing, so I started this blog. But I don’t consider myself a writer. I don’t get paid to do it. I haven’t written a book, and I don’t have any advertising or affiliate marketing on my blog. Matter of fact, it costs money to maintain this blog. (Hum… it would be nice if it would pay for itself.) I write because it is something that I love to do, and I enjoy the interaction with readers and other bloggers. However, I don’t consider myself “a writer.” Or I didn’t. But now I am having second thoughts.

I recently had the pleasure of being asked to provide a guest post on one of my favorite retirement blogs, The Retirement Manifesto. If you do not already read this blog, I would highly recommend it. It is a popular, well written retirement blog that I have read for years. I consider it the gold standard of retirement blogs, so I was honored when Fritz reached out to ask if I would provide a guest post.

Maybe I have metamorphosized into a writer in retirement after all.

“Working” from home on my blog in the early morning hours.

Metamorphosizing and money

Still, the question lingers in the back of my mind, do you have to be paid to consider yourself an artist, writer, or gardener? Do you have to paid for your creations to consider it a metamorphosis? Perhaps that line of thinking is a holdover from our careers, or our society in general. We assign value to something if others are willing to use their hard-earned cash to get it. It is the universal stamp of approval.

But just ask any of the creative retirees that I mentioned above, and they will tell you they started their hobby long before they got money for it. It erupted from an inner desire to create. To grow and challenge themselves and to add something of beauty to the world.

One retiree’s metamorphosis led to building an entire little town behind his house. Not because he felt he should, or needed to for any particular reason, but because he was drawn to do it. His creativity was seeking a way to be released. It did not make him any money. Matter of fact, he and his lovely wife spent a lot of money building it and filling it with authentic details. And boy did he ever create an amazing little town. You can read about Bobville here.

In conclusion

In retirement, we don’t need to get paid or sponsored by a company. While the extra money is always nice, we don’t typically need it to buy groceries. We do not need to be paid to consider it a metamorphosis. Anyone can do it.

Your retirement metamorphosis can be starting a new health journey at 65, or committing to a hike out in nature every week, or perfecting the art of making sour dough bread. Maybe your metamorphosis is taking up journaling while you enjoy the quiet moments of reflection that you did not have time for when you were working. It doesn’t matter what it is, and you don’t need to get paid to do it. What matters is that you continue to grow and create and change… even in retirement. Maybe especially then.

I have been trying my hand at watercolor. I am definitely not an artist, but I am enjoying the relaxing process of it. There are plenty of tutorials available, as well as face-to-face classes to learn the technique. I like that there is minimal investment to get started and it is portable. I have made a few watercolor cards for family and friends, but I will never be great at it. The important thing is that I am enjoying it and that it stretches me to learn and grow.

What does your retirement metamorphosis look like? Are you still evolving into the lifestyle you want to be living in these bonus years? Is there something lingering in the back of your brain that you really want to do or try? Not because you should, or because you will get paid for it, but just because it intrigues you. The beauty of it is that we get to decide.

Cheers to the retirement years!

Retirement Drift

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

I was at a community picnic a few weeks ago and was chatting with an acquaintance. She has been retired for several years while her husband, a physician, still works a couple days a week. Initially, her retirement was full of travel and involvement in politics. She was still relatively healthy, so I asked her what she was up to now. She paused, and sadly responded, “well… I watch a lot of T.V. ” My heart dropped. This is a person who has clearly fallen into retirement drift.

What is retirement drift?

We spent years saving and planning for retirement. It is thrilling to walk out the door that last day of work with total freedom and rest waiting for you. After all, we worked our whole lives and deserve some time to relax during business hours, right? Absolutely. However, too many weeks, months and then years, of unstructured, unchallenged days that lack direction can lead to lethargy, a lack of purpose and depression. Like any bad habit, retirement drift happens insidiously… one too many T.V. shows at a time.

When you are in retirement drift, your days blur into each other. Your life loses purpose and meaning. You lack motivation and energy. And you start to think, retirement is not what I expected.

Retirement drift is not a failure; it is a signal. It is the siren that warns you that you are entering a danger zone and you need to recalibrate. You need to change your direction. Too much freedom without some structure and intention can easily fall into retirement drift. It is said that you don’t want to retire away from something, but rather, you want to retire to something. Most of us our a little burned out when we finally decide to retire, but you still need to have some active hobbies and interests that draw you towards retirement. Things you have been looking forward to spending more time doing.

Here is the problem with retirement drift. It happens very slowly. Kind of like the story of the frog that sits in the pot of warm water that is slowly turned up to a boil, and he never jumps out because it occurs so gradually. I don’t think most people plan to fall into retirement drift, it just happens over time if you are not on your guard and take action to prevent it.

The problem with retirement drift is that you can eventually end up stuck on shore, not experiencing life fully.

How to avoid retirement drift.

I don’t think anyone wants to fall into retirement drift. My acquaintance was clearly not happy with her life. So how do we avoid it? The best way to prevent retirement drift is to be an active participant in your own life. Don’t get too comfortable sitting on the bleachers watching everyone else playing the game. Yes, it takes effort to jump in, but the fun and joy outweigh the effort every time. Here a few ways to avoid sliding into retirement drift.

  • Commit to a loose schedule. Commit to a few things that get you out of the house and engaging with other people every week. I typically meet up with my sister once a week, a friend on Fridays and watch my grandson on Mondays. I know retirees that volunteer, play Mahjong, or pickleball every week. It doesn’t matter what it is, it just matters that you do it. It adds structure and purpose to your retirement and helps prevent retirement drift.
  • Be engaged and engaging. My acquaintance’s comment about watching T.V. all the time, was a real conversation stopper. How do you respond to that? And quite honestly, I thought… this is not someone I want to be or become good friends with. If you want to have an engaged retirement, you have to start by being engaging.
  • Commit to one activity that gives you energy. Start with just one. Maybe it is dusting off an old hobby that got left on a shelf during the busy years. Or maybe it is something you have always been curious about. Read up on it. Buy the supplies. Take a class and ask questions of others that are already doing it. Many retirees are joining Meetup groups of people that have similar interests.
  • Stay active. Move your body. Get out and walk, ride bike, kayak, garden, swim, or whatever moves you… literally. Aside from all of the health benefits of physical activity, it boosts our confidence and morale. We are literally taking action, not just drifting along. Bonus that it gives you something interesting to talk about.
  • Be interested and interesting. I am going to share a little pet peeve of mine. I enjoy meeting new retirees and learning how they are managing this new phase in life. But, more often than not, instead of a two-way conversation, it becomes a complete history of their lives and all I have contributed are a few questions and several “uh hum’s.” While I enjoy hearing about their lives, I would like it to be more than a one-sided conversation. If you want to have an interesting retirement, you have to be interested and interesting.

Quit drifting and make a few waves

Make a few waves in these bonus years to prevent retirement drift.

We are in the process of planning a trip to Europe. Due to family commitments, we have not traveled overseas for several years. We seem to have lost a little bit of confidence and energy in that gap. We find that we have less of a carefree attitude when trying to figure out the logistics. Planning and decision-making feel more stressful. We are jumping in anyway. If we don’t push past our comfort zones, we can easily become stagnant and start to drift.

Retirement drift happens by slowly disengaging with life, people and interests. Usually, it is the path of least resistance. But if you have your health, retirement should not be a slow decline of life. It is not an ending. It is a new phase, and it should be some of our most interesting and engaging years. Never before have we had the time, money and freedom to explore what we are curious about. Just because we don’t have a job to go to, doesn’t mean we quit living. Quite the opposite. It is the perfect time to become more ourselves than ever before.

Cheers to the retirement years!

It Feels Like Summer

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

We are knee deep into summer and it is providing all of the feels. The hot sun glistening on the water. The grill being fired up and the aroma of burgers sizzling on it. Shouts and laughter echoing from children playing in the lake. A good book next to a lawn chair. A jar of sun tea sweltering in the heat as it seeps. A sticky ice cream cone melting on your fingers. The whirl of the lawnmower outside, leaving the scent of fresh cut grass. The gentle hum of bees moving about. And a quiet golden sunset lingering at the end of the day. These are the sights, sounds and smells that feel like summer.

Summer is a time when life slows down, inviting moments of introspection and simple joy. The slow relaxed days remind us to savor the warmth, laughter, and fleeting beauty that it provides. I have been doing just that, as I hope you have too. So, can we please stop the ads for back-to-school supplies, fall clothes and Halloween decorations? I love fall, but right now I just want to slow down and soak up summer while it is here.

The shouts and laughter from people playing in the water brings a flood of memories from when I was younger and we would play king of the mountain on an old tire inner tube.
Discovering an abandoned beach during a slow kayak paddle.
The grands bring smiles to summer that cannot be bought.
There is a relaxed vibe to outdoor summer concerts that you can never get at an inside a venue. Bonus that most of these are Free.
Harvesting the bounty from the garden.
Grilling meat and adding fresh fruits and vegetables as sides are one of the delights of summer.

Which camp are you in?

Along with all of the wonderful summer vibes, we also have to deal with increased traffic in our little resort city, ongoing backups due to road construction, and the smoke from late summer wildfires. Our neighboring city across the state line has had devastating wildfires, and my heart goes out to all of the displaced families that lost everything. While each season brings its own beauty and wonder, it also brings its own set of drawbacks. So which camp are you in? Are you tired of the heat and ready for the next season or still savoring the end of summer vibes?

And the sun sets on another summer day.

Things I Did Not Expect About Aging

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

Years ago, most of us thought through our careers, whether we wanted to raise family, and what we wanted to do in our spare time. However, we gave little thought to our lives after we were old enough to retire. We have all seen the advertisements of gorgeous gray-haired couples smiling at each other and we just assumed that would be us “someday.” Well, someday is here and that advertisement forgot to tell you about the changes you did not expect.

Things I did not expect about an aging body

When we are young, we feel immortal. We never really think about the fact that someday we will get wrinkles laugh lines around our eyes, that our underarms will wiggle like a scoop of grape jelly, or that our fat cells will migrate overnight causing our waistline to vanish. We would roll our eyes as we waited for older people to try and remember the name of the restaurant they ate at last night. Now… we are them.

Aging happens to everyone that is fortunate enough to live that long. It is a natural process. I knew it. I anticipated it. I just didn’t fully expect it to happen to me. I mean I knew I would look older, but in a firm, youthful way. 😊 The media tells you that if you use their “anti-aging” cream, eat a plant-based diet, get the tuck, lift weights and exercise for five hours every day, that you don’t have to look older. Hogwash. It may help, but gravity happens.

The good news is that it matters less. I am not saying we “let ourselves go” and don’t care. If you are still upright, you usually care about your health and how you present yourself to the world. I remember my mom at 85, fussing about her hairstyle. What I am saying is that we care less about the parts of our aging bodies that we can’t control. Instead, we appreciate and care more about how our body functions and carries us through life. I did not expect this.

Things I did not expect about health

We worry about our health more. You take your health for granted when you are young. But as we get older, we recognize that our body is fragile and no one is immune to health issues. We have seen it in friends, family and celebrities. Every new age spot becomes a concern for skin cancer. Every bout of diarrhea causes us to worry about colon cancer. Every sniffle could be pneumonia. Every aching joint, arthritis. Good grief. We could become obsessed with it. And we do.

Have you ever noticed that when a group of older adults get together, every conversation eventually turns to health issues? We share war stories and scars, compare symptoms and debate the best surgeons in the area. There are complaints about the rising cost of supplemental insurances and whether you should include eye and dental. One of the advantages of spending time with our peers is that we can compare notes and learn from each other regarding common health issues. There is comfort in knowing others are experiencing similar things. The problem is when you discuss it… ad nauseum.

The good news is that you appreciate your health more as you age. You recognize that every day is a gift to be lived with joy. There is a deeper awareness of our mortality, which moves us toward a deeper awareness of the beauty of life. I did not expect this.

Things I did not expect about moving at this age

Like most people my age, I have moved several times over my life. Therefore, I expected the physical challenges of packing, hauling boxes and unpacking. I even expected some of the emotional challenge of leaving a place that had so many good memories.

What I did not expect was the confusion of living in a new environment. I can’t decide if this is due to living in one place for so long or because we are much older doing this move. It doesn’t help that we moved into two new homes over the past year. But now it takes me twice as long to do anything because I have to stop and think about where I put it.

I made zucchini bread the other day and I had to open three cupboard doors before I found the grater. I can’t remember which light switch goes to which light. Do they really need to make this many light switches? (But come to think of it, I never really figured that out the light switches in our previous home either.)

But the biggest surprise was that we have to develop new routines. Things that were automatic take thought and a small decision now. Where are we going to sit when we have our morning coffee? Are we going to eat dinner at the table, the kitchen island or in the living room chairs? Where do I set my purse when I walk in the door? These things were automatic in our old home of 24 years, but now they take thinking. I did not expect this.

Things I did not expect about my emotions

No one warned me that I would feel more deeply as I got older. I am a nurse, I raised four kids, and I have experienced enough emotions to last me a lifetime. But maybe those years just left me more raw… more aware of the beautiful, scary, fragile world we live in.

Tears of joy and appreciation can spill out unexpectedly when I look at a beautiful sunset. Tears of sadness surface when I see a complete stranger struggling to walk down the street. I hurt more for the world that our grandkids will one day inherit. I feel this amazing life we lead on a deeper level. I did not expect this.

Things I did not expect about my soul

It takes years of living and soul searching to find your center. If you put in the work of introspection, you will find your soul more at peace. We realize that we can’t control other people, we can’t control the weather, we can’t control most outcomes, so we learn to accept. And with acceptance, comes freedom.

I am still learning to lower my expectations so that I am wonderfully surprised by life. I am trying to open my schedule to allow more precious hours for the things that make my heart sing. Of course I am still a work in progress, but my soul is more centered. I did not expect this.

Aging is the gift I did not expect

Growing older is a privilege that not everyone gets to experience. It is a challenge, but it is also a beautiful ride that I would not want to miss. Aging brings you full circle. Children look at the world with wonder and awe and now, after years of pushing and pulling through life, I do too again. I did not expect this.

“The ride was worth the fall. The fall was worth the smiles. The smiles were worth the tears. Tears were worth the miles. Miles were worth the pain. Pain was worth it all. It’s all worth this life. Life is worth the ride. The ride is worth the fall.”

Lyrics to the song The Fall by Cody Johnson.

My Stints in Part-time Retirement Work

Posted on by The Retired Alchemist

The plain and simple definition of retirement is leaving one’s job and ceasing to work. Of course, we all know it is so much more than that, which is why many people retire and then realize they really are not ready to manage their life without work. At a loss of what to do, they turn to what they know… going back to work.

According to a T. Row Price study, title “Unretiring”: Why recent retirees want to go back to work, 57% of retirees express an interest in working in retirement. While some want to work in order to pad their retirement nest egg, many are choosing to work because of the social engagement, structure and purpose that it brings to their lives. Personally, I thought I was going to want to work part-time in retirement more before I retired than once I actually did retire.

I really liked my job in nursing education. I enjoyed the people I worked with, and the vast majority of the students were engaged, committed, and fun to teach. Most importantly, my work was rewarding and I felt like it was contributing to the greater good. But I was ready to retire. I was tired of getting up and trudging off to work in the early morning hours for the 25-minute commute, particularly in bad weather. I did not enjoy working on reports that I was not interested in or the endless meetings. And I definitely had decision fatigue. It was time. Or was it?

My office on campus just prior to retiring from fulltime work. It never looked this clean while I was working.

My story

As with most major life decisions, I studied retirement for many years before I made the leap. (I hate the feeling of regret and will go to great lengths to avoid it.) I retired relatively early at 59, so I always thought I would work part-time during my initial retirement years. Planning ahead, I tried out a couple of part-time “retirement” jobs while I was still working full-time. Just for the record, I do not recommend this.

My office/craft room at our home (prior to the move.)

Part-time job #1

For a few years, during the summers and college breaks from teaching, I worked for a company teaching NCLEX prep courses at nursing colleges and universities around the United States. (NCLEX is the certification exam that nursing students must pass in order to get their RN license.) The company already had the power point, learning activities and curriculum developed so you just had to come in and teach it. Easy-peasy. I figured, once I got the content down, I would just get paid to travel and teach a little. It would eventually be the perfect retirement job.

However, being “on stage” and teaching 6-8 hours straight for 4 days in a row is HARD work. I was exhausted when I was done. I prepped every evening before teaching and once I finished a 4-day course, my feet hurt, and I was too tired to go out site seeing. Travel is not as glamorous when you are doing it for work. I did get to travel to a few great places, but apparently the company thought Idaho and Iowa were close by each other and kept sending me to Iowa. No offense to Iowa, but… not a travel destination. Complain. Complain. Complain. But if it was causing me to complain, then it clearly wasn’t a potential part-time job that I wanted to do when I retired.

Part-time job #2

Prior to retiring I tried teaching a couple of on-line nursing courses for an affiliate college. It was flexible and used my skills. However, it was not particularly enjoyable or gratifying. It was just, well… work. The only interaction I had with students was on-line. I missed the personal, face-to-face communication that I think is vital to being an effective instructor. Did I mention that I really do not like grading papers? Complain. Complain. Complain. This was not enjoyable enough to be a potential part-time retirement job either.

Part-time job #3

The last couple years I was at the college, I sat on the board of a non-profit company associated with healthcare education. When a half-time regional clinical placement coordinator position opened up with them just prior to my retirement, I decided to apply. The only problem was that they needed it filled a semester before I planned to retire. No problem, it was a remote position that could be done on-line so I could do it in the evenings and weekends until I retired from my full-time job. Do you notice a crazy theme here?

That job turned out to be a great way to transition into retirement and I kept it for a year and a half after I retired from my full-time job. At that point, it was starting to require more responsibilities, availability and scheduled meetings. The meetings were via Zoom, but still… you had to have your computer with you, be in a place with reliable internet, look presentable (at least from the waist up), and be available at the designated time, with a professional looking backdrop. I did not like being committed to someone else’s schedule anymore, so I decided to fully retire.

Part-time job #4

A few years into full-retirement, I had the opportunity to teach a face-to-face evening course a couple times a month. I wrote about that experience in a previous post, Have I Failed Retirement? I taught the course several times, but I dreaded going. We did not need the money to buy groceries or pay the electric bill, so I asked myself why I was doing it. I could not come up with a great answer, other than I always thought I would work part-time after I retired. Not a good enough answer so I decided not to continue with it and have never looked back.

Mr. U’s part-time work

Mr. U has worked part-time most of his post-retiree life. First as a consultant in school administration for several years and then in his favorite job driving a van, which I wrote about in the post Reverse Retirement. The biggest challenge when working part-time in retirement is that it gets in the way of play. It is particularly difficult if you have to request time off.

My office (prior to the move) now that I am just working at being fully retired.

In conclusion

I purpose that, if we plan our retirement well ahead of time, we do not necessarily need to work to gain the same emotional benefits (social engagement, structure and purpose) that often drive people back to work. They will be built right into our retirement life. If we have planned our finances securely, created social networks that keep us engaged and have planned things to do that give us purpose and meaning in our retirement years, we won’t want or have time for part-time work.

I know several retirees who have a hobby or interest that has expanded into a part-time job. Not because they needed the social engagement, structure or purpose, but because they love what they are doing and want to share it. They want to do more of it and so it blossoms into getting paid for it. Somehow, that doesn’t seem like work to me. Perhaps that is the key: the ideal retirement job is one that does not feel like work. The beauty of retirement is that most of us can choose. We can choose to work or not. And it is that very freedom that is one of the ingredients to the secret sauce for a happy retirement.

Cheers to the retirement years!