Over the last several weeks I have been observing the swallows nesting in the birdhouse on our back patio. (Exciting life, I know.) Before moving in they visited the birdhouse several times to see if it was suitable. Then we watched as they determinedly began bringing in little sticks, mud and debris to build their nest. I envision them excited to create their home together and fill it with a family. Before long, we heard little chirping sounds from the birdhouse… the children have arrived! Life will never be the same.

Like people, once the babies were born, the parents spent most of their time taking care of them. In this case, finding bugs to bring back to the nest. Back and forth they went, removing waste and returning with food, as the chirping got louder and louder. Last week, the babies were poking their heads out of the birdhouse, checking out the world outside of their comfort zone. I kept a close eye on them, hoping to witness their first flight away from the nest. Then one morning, I was having my coffee and observing the final baby bird leaning out of the nest as his momma brought him, what turned out to be, his last meal at home. Then he leaned further out and whoosh, he pushed himself out and with a few wobbly flaps of his wings, he was gone. Out to start his own adventures into the world. The next morning, the nest was quiet. It got me to thinking about our own nest.

We have been feathering our nest for years. Adding pieces of furniture, gadgets and other stuff that would make it more functional and comfortable. As we prepare to downsize next year, I am now busy “unfeathering” our nest. Not a job for the faint of heart. So many memories. It feels like we spend the first two thirds of our life accumulating and the last third of it trying to get rid of what we accumulated. I have been working on this downsizing thing for a while, as I addressed in a post I wrote over a year ago, The Secret Life of Stuff.

I am trying to pawn off gift our children with as much stuff as I can. But as I read recently, your kids don’t want your %#*! and they really don’t want to sort through it after you pass from this earth. I am currently on both ends of that now. We are slowly going through and cleaning out my parents’ home that they raised six kids in. (My dad lives in a house in town now.) Again, so many memories. However, these memories are from the perspective of my own childhood, rather than that of a parent. It is the cycle of life, the remnants of a life well lived in our various nests.

I have to remind myself that the nest is just sticks and that, what we carry with us, what really matters, are the people. The nest is the carrying device for living out life. It does not hold the memories. Those have already been created and live in us. The nest does not shape and build us, family does. I love to live in a cozy, warm, inviting nest, but it is empty without the people that bring it to life.

Son #1 and his wife came to visit the nest last week. Since the rest of our kids live in the area, we were able to spend lots of time together as a family. It is always comforting to have your children back in your nest. It speaks of home and cozy and a reminder of those years when we were all together under one roof, safe and warm. I miss those years. But I have also grown to enjoy our quieter life and the freedom to come and go as we please. We can choose to watch a movie and have popcorn for dinner if neither of us feel like cooking that night.

Nests come and go, but the memories live on. Our four sons helped preserve those memories through an exceptionally thoughtful gift this week. When I retired, they created a book for me. Each of them wrote several pages of their memories growing up and words of kindness and appreciation that were beyond what I deserved. They planned to make one for their dad soon after, but life got busy. They joked that each of them kept waiting for one of the others to spearhead the project. Well, they finished it recently and decided to wait until they were all together this week to give it to their dad. A beautiful, heartfelt, tear inducing, tribute of their memories with their dad. And guess what? It wasn’t about nests; it was about people making lasting impressions on each other’s lives.

I hope you all had a wonderful 4th of July. As I mentioned, we enjoyed precious time with all of our immediate family, ate way too much food and tried to set the world on fire. THANK YOU to all of our current working military and our veterans. We are grateful.